Hello everyone, and Happy
4th of July. Despite my status as an anime fan (I can't go
as far as “Otaku”, at
least not yet, I really only started branching out with anime when I
came
of age), I am really happy
to live in America. We have a country we can live in without fear
of oppression, we have wide
open spaces to explore, we have a rich creative freedom- I don't
know any other place on the
planet where we can enjoy this splendor.
And why do I bring this up
in a blog about anime? Well, anime has begun to have a
greater influence on our
media. Western-created cartoons such as “Samurai Jack,” “Ben
10”,
“Teen Titans,” “Avatar:
The Last Airbender” and its successor, “The Legend of Korra”
use
anime as a very heavy
influence on everything from character and environment design to
animation techniques and
story. Conversely, western series are also gaining a greater
influence on
Japan makes their series.
“Tiger and Bunny” is modeled after American comic book
superheroes
from both DC and Marvel.
“Panty and Stocking With Garterbelt” is full to the brim of
sendups
of American pop culture,
from simply being modeled on a Western cartoon such as “The
Powerpuff Girls” to having an entire 11-minute segment based on
“Transformers” (which manages to cover much of the franchise's
history at the time of the 2010 airdate of “Panty and
Stocking”). “Soul
Eater” draws much of its gothic horror fantasy motif from the works
of Tim
Burton and Neil Gaiman.
In a sense, the two
cultures are growing closer together and sharing stories as a result.
Still, there are times when
so much can be wrong. This is rare, but of all things, it came up in
a series that I have
nothing but contempt for. That series is “Dinosaur King.”
I am aware of what I'm
doing right now, so I shall proceed in a manner that I see fit.
It's always a huge risk
whenever a critic pans something a lot of people like. While
detractors
for work can exist; when a
fandom is devoted, they can rip apart someone who dislikes their
favorite thing like rabid
wolves.
I was quite virulent with
my dislike of the series when taking notes of the episode I chose,
but after some deliberation; I concluded that is not the course of
action I should take.
It would be easy for me to
gleefully trash the series; but I feel that I should take a more
restrained approach to this
recap, despite my hate for it.
The episode I chose should
make my dislike of the series justified. The episode I picked
was “Lights, Camera,
Destruction.” It has as many liberties taken with film production
as “Fight or Flight” does with air transit security practices.
Not only that, it has some of the most empty
Now that I have gotten all
this out of the way, let's open up “Lights, Camera,
Destruction” and see if
we can make heads or tails of this series.
We open on Dr. Owen
conferring with Dr. Taylor. They do this by dancing to each other.
So, the first scene, we
have two paleontologists who are in their 40s acting like they're
about
10.
While this happens, three
cuddly-looking dinosaurs come in. I hope I did not put on Dinosaur
Train by mistake.
We then get our male lead,
Max. He is clearly an Ash Ketchum clone, and is even
voiced by the same actress,
Veronica Taylor. Due to the method I'm approaching this recap,
I hesitate to call this
show a cheap Pokémon rip-off. It's clearly an expensive Pokémon
rip-off.
Anyway, we find out that Dr.
Owen is a consultant to Stanley Spinoberg, who is making
a film called “Prehistoric
Park.” Max points out some of the other films in his repertoire,
which
include “Illinois Joe”
and “E.C. The Extra-Clumsy Alien”. I'm quite a fan of films such
as
“Mandibles,” “C.R.:
Cognitive Robotics,” “Rescuing Corporal Johnson,” and “The
Exploits
of Asterix.”
As you can tell by the
above paragraph, this episode features a parody of Steven Spielberg.
I don't understand why they chose this way to parody one of the most
beloved film
directors in the world. By
the quality of the writing, it is in line with Jason Friedberg and
Aaron
Seltzer level of parody.
Spielberg has been mocked much better in the past by “South Park,”
“The Simpsons,” and the
Warner Bros./Spielberg Universe (Animaniacs, Tiny Toon Adventures,
Pinky and The Brain). I
will point out at how hard the parody aspect of this episode fails as
this recap goes on.
Rex muses at how Dr. Owen
is faring, as Spinoberg is unwilling to accept Dr. Owen's
advice on the dinosaur
designs. This is the first area where the parody fails, as Spielberg
was in a great relationship
with paleontology experts for the first two “Jurassic Park”
films,
and this tradition was
continued when the reins were handed to Joe Johnston so Spielberg
could work on “A.I.:
Artificial Intelligence”. This included updating the raptors to
have feathers
when advances in
paleontology called for it.
We then cut to Hollywood,
where we see just how hard a time Spinoberg is giving
Dr. Owen. He paints up one
of the animatronic dinosaurs; and it now resembles one of the
monstrosities on “Barney
and Friends” as opposed to a fearsome beast that can sell action
figures, t-shirts, plates,
video games, and McDonald's Happy Meal premiums. Dr. Owen
is understandably
displeased, though for inaccuracy to the beast instead of mitigation
of its
stature. Also, it's
actually a better dinosaur effect than the standard ones, a fact that
will be proven quite soon.
Now, we get to our theme
song. Much like with “Ouran,” I have never listened to it
in full before doing this
recap, so I'm not sure what to make of it.
It is a repurposed public
domain song, much like “Fighting Food-ons” had. For those
not in the know, “Fighting
Food-Ons” was one of 4Kids' earlier dubs; based on an anime called
“Bistro Recipe.”
Looking back on it from old episodes lovingly culled up on YouTube
(the series
did not get a real DVD or
even VHS release), it is a fun, silly series by virtue of the writers
essentially taking a free
ride to do whatever they want with it, in a good way. But I digress.
Our subject is “Dinosaur
King.” The tune itself is fine, but it doesn't really stick in my
mind
the same way other theme
songs of family-friendly action series did (key examples being
the original Pokémon
theme, Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers and the 1987 version of Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles).
As promised, we get our
first glimpse of the dinosaur effects; and boy are they bad.
The animation is stiff, and
the rendering is akin to the video game “Turok Evolution.”
After about a minute of
lousy fights and our heroes dancing with their Build-A-Bear
Workshop dinosaurs, we get
the show title, followed quickly by our title card. I may not
be a fan of this show, but
I like the idea of a rune being used to display the title card.
At the studio, Spinoberg is
taking many liberties with production, and filling the screen
with scads of explosions
and special effects. It becomes even clearer that the parody aspect
of this episode doesn't
work, as Spielberg does not make movies like this. Those type of
films
are directed by Michael
Bay. It would have been just fine if they decided to parody Bay
instead;
given that he has quite the
bad reputation among moviegoers despite his many $100 million-plus
films, but that would be
far more logical; so they put an inaccurate Captain Ersatz of
Spielberg
in his stead.
The dinosaur that is the
focal point of this episode appears in a cloud of smoke.
The dinosaur is picked up on
their scanners, and our heroes; Max, Rex, and Zoe, are
transported to Los Angeles
in order to retrieve it.
Meanwhile, Spinoberg is
filming a scene with robots. That's right, robots. They
definitely have Spielberg
confused with Bay now. Bay was the one who directed those
Transformers movies,
Spielberg only executive-produced them.
We cut to the island base
of Dr. Z, the show's antagonist. He's demanding that his cronies
slather sunscreen on his
hairy body when they get the sign of the dinosaur and also decide to
go to LA. Seth, one of the
members of the Alpha Gang that Dr. Z leads, gets Rod and Laura to
come with them. Feel free
to insert a KONY 2012 joke at your leisure.
Max, Rex, and Zoe arrive in
LA; and manage to get into the movie studio without any
clearance. Zoe swoons over
Johnny Zepp, a clear Johnny Depp expy.
 |
| Even though Dark Shadows was a financial disappointment, there is still hope that people can see that vampires don't have to sparkle to be handsome. |
Zoe keeps going on about how
“hot” Zepp is. I have always believed that acting ability
wins out over
attractiveness; but both work together just fine.
Zoe then points out George
Loopy. He's probably thinking about what he can put in
the next Star Wars Special
Edition.
Rex points out a giant
robot. So, Warner Bros finally decided to make a Go-Bots movie.
I wonder who they got to do
the voices of Scooter and Cy-Kill.
Their dinosaurs, Chomp (a
triceratops), Ace (a carnosaur), and Paris (a parasaurolophus)
run off, just as Rod and
Laura come in. In effect, they act like 5th-grade versions of Gwen
Stacy
and Flash Thompson.
Not much of note in these
next few minutes. Just more of making the movie so they
can rip off more iconic
moments and shots of Spielberg's movies; which I have screencapped
for your pleasure.
The dinosaur starts trashing
the set of the vampire movie that Zepp was filming, and
causes even more chaos. You
could say this dinosaur is an agent of chaos.
 |
| Dr. Z's Castle South Jersey Shore |
More of Z's minions, Ursula,
Zander, and Ed arrive on the scene. Ursula also begins
fawning at meeting Zepp. I
know Johnny Depp is a handsome man, but this impostor in his
stead isn't half of what
the real Depp is. Still, Ursula finds him and goes nuts.
Chomp, Ace, and Paris find
their way into one of the animatronic dinosaur costumes,
and they learn how to pilot
it. It's still quite sad when Baby Bop here is more convincing
than hundreds of thousands
of dollars of CGI.
The dinosaur develops a
romantic attraction to the dinosaur prop, and the chase is on.
 |
| Dino Rangers Roar! Power Rangers Soar! Save us from the evil forces within! (Power Rangers Dino Thunder!) |
As Spinoberg discovers that
his production is going downhill because of the rampage,
his assistant director is
scared that the dinosaur will eat him. No, because the dinosaur is a
triceradon, and those are
vegetarians. Its horns are for defense.
Spinoberg films yet
another scene with dinosaurs fighting robots, just to prove that
he would rather entertain
than educate. Try putting them in F-14s, that will render any
argument
invalid.
The dinosaur is revealed
to be a pentaceratops, which a robotic maid called Helga attacks.
Hold on. Helga?
 |
| Take that, football head! |
Now that I have that joke
off my chest, I shall proceed. Helga is promptly thrown aside,
and she begins stuttering
like Max Headroom. Nice, timely reference, 4Kids. That show only
went off the air in, what,
1991?
Now, we have Dr. Owen and
his assistant, Patrick, trying to capture the pentaceratops.
Regarding Patrick, well,
just look at him.
 |
| I'm Cheesy Gonzales, the fattest mouse man in all of Mexico! |
The chase heads to the
visual effects department. That is somewhere this show's
effects could have used
more time for rendering.
Spinoberg and his AD start
fiddling with the green screen, inserting random backdrops
and only having them show
up on camera. Chroma key doesn't work like that, guys. You're
thinking of rear projection.
As the pentaceratops fights
for the fake dinosaur, Spinoberg goes into the beauty of the
situation. “Such courage!
Such passion!” Such a crock of bull.
The pentaceratops rams the
fake dinosaur. Chomp, Ace, and Paris try to get out, but
the hatch doesn't open. It
can take a blow from a real dinosaur, but it can't open. Huh.
Spinoberg goes into total
deluded auteur mode, marveling at the beauty of his production. I
was way off with Michael Bay. This guy is pure Ed Wood in the hubris
The kids' dinosaurs are
finally free. Max summons Chomp, and he defeats the pentaceratops in
one swift electric stroke. How fittingly anticlimactic.
“Lights, Camera,
Destruction” is an episode that is completely unaware of how
to handle itself, trying to
juggle parody, film commentary, and the components of a core
shonen series. I still
don't particularly care for “Dinosaur King”, but I can see why so
many
people value it so highly
among 4Kids-produced dubs. It takes part in every single cliché
of the shonen genre and
does it without the slightest semblance of seriousness. I personally
prefer “Fighting
Food-Ons” and “Ultimate Muscle”for that, but that's probably
the generation
gap talking. I have been
making an effort to diversify myself culturally, but I can
comfortably
say it's OK to rot your
brain on this type of work once in a while. In the meantime, I leave
you
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