Recap: Endless 8 Part 1

Hello again. Well, I'm finally going to do it. The dreaded Endless 8 of Haruhi Suzumiya. I'm not a terribly big fan of the series, but this is every bit as bad as I heard it would be.


So it begins, the infamous Endless 8. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSLlZh9yelk

Cicadas are chirping, and Kyon and his sister (I forget her name) are watching a game after Obon (a Japanese holiday that respects the deceased, usually ancestors).

Kyon mentions that he's not all that interested in the game, but is rooting for the losing team. In that case, why not watch something else? I know I'm going to be binging on One Piece and Gundam Wing to detox from this month; among the surprise I have planned for September.

Suddenly, the phone rings; and the eponymous Haruhi Suzumiya is on the other end. Personally, I'd reject the call and see if Yoko Littner is doing anything.

Kyon answers the phone, and says Haruhi and the others are meeting in front of the station at 2. 




Then, she hangs up. Typical. I always preferred Kyon over Haruhi, because he reacts the way I would to her. He's the person I sympathized with over the course of the original series. Empathized with even.

Kyon wonders how Haruhi knows he's not doing anything today. Then, the phone rings again.

He answers again, and then she says to bring a swimsuit and come on your bike. It's a mistake picking up again. Besides, when some people in this position come, they end up seeing Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC.

And she says to bring plenty of money. Sweet mercy, we're only a minute in. As per usual, Kyon wonders what's going on, as does the audience.

Eventually, he does to decide to go.

The theme song is just ludicrous. The tune is a typical j-pop bubblegum song, and it's set to imagery of the cast going about their day. ... You know, I'm going to try an experiment. Through out this whole month, I'm going to sync these episodes with the full version of Pink Floyd's "Shine on You Crazy Diamond." That should help take my mind off this.

Three minutes in, and we haven't even gotten to the really boring parts yet.

So, Kyon bikes to the station. Haruhi says he's late, and to show some more motivation. I know I'm going to need it for this.

Oh, and it turns out he came early. I must also point out that Yuki is the only one wearing her school uniform. In the summer.

Moving, on Haruhi mounts the back of Kyon's bike with Yuki, and Mikuru rides in the basket of Koizumi.

At the pool, Haruhi dives right in with Yuki and Mikuru. Then, they decide to have lunch.

Kyon then labels the public pool as more of a communal pool.

Communal (Oxford definition) (adjective): shared by all members of a community, for common use

Public (Oxford Definition) (adjective): open to or shared by all the people of an area or country

Dumbass.

I notice that one of the children Haruhi is playing ball with resembles Chiyo-chan from Azumanga Daioh, which I find to be a better, and funnier slice-of-life anime. You'll find out why over the course of these recaps.

Kyon remarks that this isn't a bad way to spend summer vacation. It will be. Just you wait.

Haruhi introduces her brigade members.

They then go out to eat and discuss summer activities for the remaining two weeks of vacation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ek_4ADcA_Ik

They include go to the pool (taken care of), go to a Bon festival, go to a fireworks show; have a part-time job, and go stargazing. Mikuru says this is a lot. That's only a small fraction of what could be done. Participate in a contest. Go to a flea market. Go on a ride through the country or city. See a big-budget summer movie or several. Call your family. Press the stop button.

Of course, Kyon expresses how they're going to do all that in two weeks. Haruhi responds by asking if there's anything else he'd like to do.

Watching a different anime would be nice.

With this, Haruhi intends to get started tomorrow. Kyon of course asks if any of this is actually happening tomorrow. Koizumi says he'll look into it.

I notice that Yuki is just casually drinking her drink while the others are talking. I know I'm going to need quite a bit during all this.

With dinner over, Kyon wonders why he's the one that always picks up the check. I have to admit, that's actually kind of amusing.

Kyon wonders if every day is going to be spent like this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tpK5VoeUYc


The next morning, Kyon is woken up by a call from Haruhi. Naturally, they found a place holding a Bon festival that night. He says it's convenient that they found one so quickly.

Then, Haruhi says they're all going shopping for yukatas, since Mikuru and Yuki don't have any. You know, I just thought of something: where are their parents in all this? I didn't see them at all in the first season. Heck, I barely saw any teachers at their school! I didn't see any workers at the restaurant! Is it like Peanuts where all the adults are offscreen, only being represented by muted trombones?

So, they find a place that's selling them in packs, and Haruhi chooses for Mikuru and Yuki.

If you think that did, we still have 7 2/3 episodes to go, Kyon.

So, they come out with their yukatas, and Kyon is ever so slightly impressed that his blank look of indifference is raised to a small smile.

A true Kodak moment.

Kyon is especially impressed with Mikuru's outfit. Not surprising, as Haruhi intentionally dresses her in clothes that maximize her sex appeal, as if she were a giant doll.

Come on Barbie, let's go party!

With this, they decide to go to the festival. 

They arrive at the Bon festival, with Kyon saying he hasn't been to one in a while.

Then, Haruhi takes her goldfish scooping. Kyon just wants to eat, then Yuki sees a bunch of masks being sold.

Yuki buys an Ultraman mask and wears it on the side of her head when Haruhi and Mikuru return with their fish. Haruhi comments on Yuki's mask, and says it appeals to a certain wavelength. Kyon says it's one only aliens would get.

Her mask covers up a basic insecurity!

Their night continues with cotton candy, candy apples, and darts.

As they rest, Haruhi offers Kyon some of her takoyaki. It's a dumpling made of octopus. I think I'll try a piece sometime.

So, with the Bon festival taken care of, Haruhi wants to launch some fireworks.



Kyon agrees, saying there was a store selling them in the festival.
So, they buy some fireworks and set them off by the river. 

 Kyon even sets them off on a bicycle!


They explode with a grand fashion.



 Kyon asks about all the messing around, and if they're finished with their summer homework. Yes, in Japan, it turns out they have homework in the summertime. The closest thing in the US would probably be taking college classes in summer, summer school, or getting a private tutor.

Of course, Haruhi has already finished hers. Why do I get the feeling this is going to be a plot point? Sweet Christmas, we're only halfway through the first episode.

She then declares they're going bug-catching tomorrow. Of course they are. The prize for catching the most is brigade leader for a day, and the catch is cicadas.

The next day is cicada-catching. Haruhi then says something about wanting to make cicada tempura. I notice that Yuki is still wearing her school uniform. Does she own any other clothes besides her uniforms and that yukata?

Do you even care?

Of course, Kyon wonders if they're a little old for cicada-catching. Poppycock. You're only as old as you feel. I may like you, Kyon, but you're being a kind of stick-in-the-mud.

With this, the event has begun, with the prize being SOS brigade leader for a day.

It seems that neither Kyon nor Koizumi has gone cicada-catching since elementary school. Trust me, you're going to want to do something like this on your nostalgia trip in college. Me? I'm buying obscene amounts of episodes and merchandise from all the shows I used to watch and have started to again.

Anyway, Yuki has caught a Hercules beetle. Good, but not a cicada.

The contest continues, with Kyon making an odd face as he swings his net for a cicada. And I thought Kyoto Animation was supposed to be real quality art.

Didney worl?

The rest of the contest is just still images and reaction shots of the SOS brigade trying to capture cicadas. I am dead serious.

ERMAGHERD! CICADAS!

Fifteen minutes. 7 1/3 episodes to go. 



Jeez, I've managed to get through the full Shine on You Crazy Diamond, and the first side of Disc 1 of The Wall. I think I'm going to need more Pink Floyd albums for future recaps.

After almost a full minute of that, it turns out Haruhi won, meaning she retains her position as leader. Well, that was pointless.

Kyon asks if she still wants to make tempura out of them. She goes back on it, and decides to let them go. This is like if Lady Starscream got a job as the female lead of her own show. Even if you very carefully make a reasonable argument or give constructive criticism, she will only read what she wants to and see any word against her as trolling; despite her own behavior in that area. That's an adequate description of Haruhi.

The next day, Haruhi has gotten them all part-time jobs. Working as grocery store mascots to attract customers with their anniversary sale.

Somebody has been smoking something. The trouble is, I'm not sure who or what.

Everyone is exhausted from their day.

It turns out they got paid with their costumes. The look on Kyon's face is one wondering if he should bail out or terminate Haruhi with extreme prejudice.

That night, they're going stargazing. Mikuru is amazed to see a modern telescope, saying that they look different from the ones in Kepler's time. It seems she's referencing Johannes Kepler, a 17th century German astronomer that discovered the three laws of orbital motion. I appreciate the fact that I learned about who he was, but if you're getting me more interested in an astronomer I've never heard of than your anime; you're not too great at getting my attention focused on it.

Apparently, Koizumi reveals that he developed an interest in astronomy when he saw Jupiter's moons as a child. You know, that almost sounds like legitimate character development! Let's see how long it takes for them to ruin it.

He has spotted Mars. Well, I think that would be nice. Haruhi wonders if Martians exist. Kyon doesn't want them to. You know, I think they could make this anime better. Many people suggested that crappy Battleship movie would be better if they were fighting the aliens from Mars Attacks; maybe something similar could be done here.

Kyon says he isn't too keen on octopus monsters invading them. Haruhi suggests they could be friendly. Right. I think they'd deem you a threat and you'd be the first to get vaporized.

She then suggests they could be living in underground caverns, trying not to surprise them. The aliens from Mars Attacks, and maybe the morlocks from The Time Machine as well. Those would really improve this anime.

Of course, Haruhi now wants to look for UFOs. She asks Mikuru to help.



The next day, Haruhi decides they're going to a batting center. Almost done with the first episode; and they've already managed to whiz this story down their leg.


 She wants to form her own international baseball team. In the original series, her attempt at playing amateur open baseball was disastrous. She is absolutely insane if she thinks she can go major league. If Michael Bay directed a live-action version of Hong Kong Phooey and cast Ice Cube in the title role, it wouldn't be half this asinine.



Kyon insinuates that Haruhi has so much energy because she has a different amount of mitochondria in her cells. Um, no. There are many other factors, such as nutrition, amounts of sleep, and an incalculable amount of other physical, emotional, and genealogical factors. Why is it that Pokémon has electric mice, giant turtles with cannons coming out of their backs, flying lizards with life force in fire on their tails, and children being declared fit to go out on their own at 10; and I trust the science of that more than I do of this?

Kyon then narrates she had them going on autopilot in order to blow through their schedule for the next few days. They went to a real fireworks show.
Then, they took part in a goby fishing tournament.

That night, they go to a graveyard? I stopped trying to apply logic to this in the first season.

They, of course, see a summer movie that was disappointing despite the hype. Well, Pacific Rim finally came out and it's bombing, even losing out to Grown-Ups 2 of all things. I must also point out the perspective of the SOS Brigade's heads looks like they're MST-ing the movie.

They represent people watching this anime right now.

Then, they went to the beach when the jellyfish were close to the shore.

They went bowling, but decided not to leave until they all got a strike.

The man in me will do nearly any task, and as for compensation, there is little he would ask!

Then, they went to sing karaoke for as long as they could. My brother and I did a marathon of Guitar Hero Warriors of Rock for 2 hours and 14 minutes the other day. I'm sorry, I'm really trying to take my mind off how much this eats it when it's only the first episode of 8! 

 So, they enjoyed themselves as much as they could for the last two weeks.



 So, they're back at the restaurant where they started, having finished their list.

She asks if anyone else wants to do anything. They do not, so Haruhi is satisfied with their list.

Kyon goes home, and wakes up on the last day of vacation.

He tries to do his homework, but has been run ragged from Haruhi's antics. So what else is new?

He keeps trying, but just decides to play Tetris with his sister.

Well, that was every bit as bad as I thought it would be.

Due to the fact I want to get this out of the way; I will try to post 2 Endless 8 recaps a week as opposed to the one recap a week I normally try to set for myself. I am going to forgo writing them in OpenOffice and I'll just copy and paste my notes into Blogger. Check back around this weekend for Endless 8 Part 2.