Recap: First Encounter/Metamorphosis/Base

Hello again. Sorry this recap is up late, I ended up spending quite a bit of time with my father. As such, Transformers: Age of Extinction has opened to an even lower Rotten Tomatoes response than Revenge of the Fallen, and has also not stopped it from making over $238 million as of this writing.

My opinion of the live-action films, in spite of all the shots I’ve taken at them in my blog; is similar to that many Transformers fans hold: I find the approach to the robotic civil war to be what I’m looking for; but I never find the involvement of those puny humans too interesting. I plan on picking up some of the figures (primarily leaning toward Evasion Mode Optimus Prime and Voyager Class Grimlock). Gaining Academy Award winner Mark Wahlberg  in exchange for Shia “I am not famous anymore” LaBeouf is a sound bargain; even though I have long considered the real stars

to be the robots. 

This brings me to the subject of this recap, the feature-length pilot of Transformers Armada. The first of an anime franchise known as The Unicron Trilogy; this was the first Transformers series in which I owned the traditional figures, notably an Optimus Prime that turned into a truck. I managed to find it when I was moving into my new home. Looking back at it, I can say that I still enjoy it, but there is lots to make fun of. So, let’s open up the feature-length “First Encounter,” and I will be including commercials in between each segment, much like I did when I recapped the 1-hour pilot of Monsuno.

We open on some narration telling a version of how the Transformers began their war; with some fairly decent renderings of the cosmos; even if it does seem like the Starship Enterprise is missing from it.

It continues onto say how the conflict revolved around the key gimmick of Armada: the Mini-Cons. These were little Transformers that activated features on the larger ones when plugged into certain places, and also doubled as weapons for certain ones.

Only $5.99 at fine retailers everywhere!

As per usual, a craft containing them sets out for a new planet known as earth, since the war on Cybertron has effectively rendered it uninhabitable because of the energy expended for the war effort.

Early man observes the ship as it comes over the world. They are absolutely awestruck at the situation unfolding before them.

How the public reacted during the initial run of Beast Machines.

The ship then crashes down, where our story begins proper.

Careful where you park, I think what's left of the Enterprise-D is nearby.

We then get a snippet of the theme song, which, as I explained in my previous Transformers recaps; tends to get remixed for each new series for what kind of music is popular with the target demographic at the time of airing. In the case of Armada, we get a sort of alternative rock mix, which is fairly decent in comparison to the other two themes. I will post a link of it to hear for yourself. 

Then, (sighs) we get our leads. These are Rad White and Carlos. Two of the human leads. This is something that has been a longtime complaint about the franchise’s adaptations. The idea is apparently to give kids an audience surrogate to relate to. This is perfectly sound; but the problem is that when you’re a kid or a person like me who’s part of the periphery demographic of Transformers; your first reaction is going to be “When are we going to see the Transformers? We don’t want these kids! We want the Transformers!” I can say that Rad here is not what my 12-year-old self was eager to see. 

Awesome! Tubular! Rumsfeld! Lindsay Lohan!

He talks about the school and what a typical day is like there.

Trying to pass science and not get beat up for playing Pokémon Ruby at lunchtime!

Also, I got this vibe somewhat when I was younger, but Carlos sounds a lot like Cheech Marin. I still hold those feelings, so I shall indulge myself accordingly.

I wonder what Great Dane tastes like!

Alexis, our female lead comes in. Of the main humans, I have to say that she’s my favorite; given how she seems to be the only sane woman amid their power trio. 

These dweebs won't shut up about seeing Spider-Man 2 for the 12th time!

Rad and Carlos talk about something they heard about in a nearby cave, and plan to go spelunking later and see what it is. 

Alexis, as I pointed out a moment ago, is skeptical about the idea.

As Rad and Carlos make their plans to go after school, one of the few flaws I noticed in the animation is the oddly rubbery movement of Rad’s index finger when he ponders. Otherwise, I can say I’ve seen worse animation, especially in the immediate sequel, Energon.

We also get one of our stereotypical bullies in Billy, a snide rich kid who is also very snarky towards Rad and Carlos.

Hey Bulk, these nimrods think they found something in the cave!

To offset him, this is Fred, a stereotypical “fatty” character. These two aren’t so much bullies as comic foils to Rad, Carlos, and Alexis; not to mention the Transformers themselves. Basically, they’re Bulk and Skull; in regards to the fact while they’re technically bullies starting out, they’re not all that good at it and usually rely on the Transformers; as well as Rad, Carlos, and Alexis to bail them out. 

Yeah, Skull, to think these dimwits actually know where the Power Rangers are!

The teacher comes in to order everyone to class. 

It turns out that a satellite installation is overlooking the town. Pretty conspicuous! Like the facility overlooking the Ba’ku in Star Trek Insurrection! 

Billy and Fred are getting ready to follow Rad and Carlos into the cave. Fred laments the low quality of his GPS.

Alexis just face palms at all this stuff going on. 

See, Transformers fans had these reactions BEFORE Michael Bay got involved!

Billy is not pleased with his after school activity being co-opted for chasing Rad and Carlos.

I'm going to miss Megas XLR! I forgot to set my DVR last night!

Fred, is of course, being a whiner about his weight. 

I haven't seen my willie in 2 years, which is long enough to declare it legally dead!

Rad and Carlos have entered the cave, and have left a rope hanging back to the entrance. 

What do you want to call it? "STILL SMOKIN'!"

Then, they start marking their progress in the catacombs underground. 

Dance, magic dance!

Soon enough, Fred and Billy are lost in the underground tunnels.

If we don't get out of here, I'm going all Hannibal on your fat ass!

They run into a bunch of bats because of the flashlight being shined in the wrong place!

Crap! We're out of repels!

Rad and Carlos then lose their footing and start sliding down a tunnel. Geez, I don’t even think I screamed this much last time I was at Six Flags!

They come to rest in an underground cavern. 

Welcome to Warp Zone!

Soon enough, they discover the remains of some old machinery.

Looks like the old Dr. Gero place. Never was the same since Trunks did a number on it.

They continue to survey the area and marvel at all the damage that has been done. 

Was the military testing death rays in here, or what?

Rad and Carlos start to wonder what could have happened there.

Let's just say that Mewtwo didn't take too kindly to being left out of two generations of Super Smash Bros. games.

They venture further into the bunker, and it pretty much looks like a movie theater showing Earth to Echo. 

Naturally, Rad finds a glowing green plate in the ground, and decides to do the first logical thing: take it for himself! 

Then, it lets out a beam of light as if they were at a rave. 

Oh my! Starry eyed surprise! Dance all night! Dance all night to this DJ!

He holds the pack in a way that seems to call out to him.

Arise, Radimus Prime. "Optimus..."

An underground military base picks up what’s going on. As for Bay being involved with another attempt for a live-action Evangelion film: that’s fake. It should inspire some good jokes, though.

What's going on? Are the Angels attacking again?

Everyone scrambles to contain the situation unfolding before them.

Oh no! It's Transformers fans complaining about Hasbro having the audacity to try something new!

Back at home, Alexis’ computer clinks off; much like how my internet connection has been for getting this recap out.

Damn Windows ME freezing up!

Cybertron finds out about the news; and it seems one of the older Transformers used as an extra is Hound.

He should fire his agent.

Sure enough, they manage to trace the signal to a planet known as Earth.

It is protected by an energy shield orbiting the forest moon!

Alexis decides to race to the scene on her scooter.

Rad and Carlos are excited at what’s going on, and decide to take the box home.

Then, as the first segment ends; we get our first arrival of some more robots as a flash of light appears. 

Big man! Pig man! Ha ha! Charade, you are!

Now; we get our first entrance of the iconic Decepticon Leader, Megatron. His design looks very cool, bearing the iconic purple and green hues associated with the ‘cons; and horns worthy of being born from the fires of Unicron himself. 

I AM MEGATRON!

Megatron then makes the expression many would make when dealing with them. It also helps that he’s voiced by David Kaye, who had previously voiced his counterpart in the Beast Era series; and helped instill the modern perception of the character’s deep voice.

The Mini-Con awakens from the box Rad was carrying.

Then, the mini-con transforms into Rad’s new bike; so he can blend in by him.

The Mini-con then sweeps everyone off their feet to take them to safer ground.

Slipping over sound waves, swinging to the stars!

Alexis berates Carlos for his jokey nature in the situation they’re in as Megatron looks on.

Then, Megatron readies a rock; but not before he makes a face that would not be out of place in one of many commercials I have planned for this recap.

Mentos! The freshmaker!

The mini-con is still trying to get everyone to safety.

Then, as the first segment comes to a close, Optimus Prime comes into play as the iconic Autobot Commander. Given his form here, as well as the Evasion Mode form in Age of Extinction, he will forever be the real star of the franchise. That is something no amount of Mark Wahlberg will ever change. 

One shall stand, one shall fall.

He engages Megatron in some fairly decent animation; and now I will have plenty of opportunities to use my quotes from the 1986 movie I’ve been saving.

"Why throw away your life so recklessly?" "That's a question you should ask yourself!"

The facial animation is also very good, especially in regard to the shading and expressiveness as Megatron grapples with Optimus.

NO! I'll crush you with my bare hands!

Even Optimus has some good shading and lighting; especially given how most adaptations have him wear a faceplate; so they have to focus a lot of emotion on his eyes when they don’t depict it as retractable. Especially since eyes tend to be one of the most distinct things in this medium; as no two pairs look the same in terms of how light bounces off of them or shape; much like real eyes. That’s one of the things that was hard for me to get used to in the live-action films; but depicting the robots’ eyes like the aperture of camera lenses grew on me after a while.

I'll rip out your optics!

Now, I shall take a quick break with some commercials.

As we begin the next segment (later titled “Metamorphosis” in reruns and on DVD); Billy and Fred are still scared out of their minds at what’s going on.

Trapped in a cave with soggy trousers. That's how to begin life, not end it!

The scuffle between Optimus and Megatron continues.

The mini-con then makes a quizzical tilt at Alexis.

Those appendages on your torso perplex me? Does your spark require extra protection?

Then, Starscream comes into join the battle. I would have to say this is one of my favorite incarnations of the character; especially since I’m being him for Halloween and Michael Dobson is one of the voices I can do of his (try as I might, I just don’t have the late Chris Latta’s pitch range.)

PATHETIC FOOLS! THERE'S NO ESCAPE!

We also get the entrance of Demolishor, another Decepticon. He’s not too sharp.

I shall hug him and pet him and name him George!

The Autobots are not without their reinforcements either, as we get the entrance of memetic scout Hot Shot; most notable for a fan’s rendition of him in a fill-in-the-blank comic given out at BotCon, coining the phrase “JaAm” among the fandom.

WhY mY sHOuLdErS hUrT?

We also see Red Alert; a re-imagining of one of my favorite Autobots. It looks like he has a bone to pick with Demolishor.

You don't want to know where that implement's going. It's...unpleasant.

Optimus Prime then declares he must find all the mini-cons out there.

Lunatic Fringe, we all know you're out there!

Back on the moon, Megatron chews out the other ‘cons for their failure, and Starscream makes his first of many plays for power; as he usually does in most adaptations. He is the trope namer for the Starscream, after all.

Then, Megatron leaves Cyclonus in charge of watching the base while they’re on earth. He and Demolishor will alternate between joining him and Starscream on missions.

You're really a Spaceball! You know that, don't you?

As Alexis joins Rad and Carlos on their journey, she is none to pleased at joining them.

Sure enough, they finally reach the Autobot base, the Ark.

All visitors must wear shoes and a shirt, and no smoking at any time! That means you, Beachcomber!

They end up triggering a holograph that details the mini-cons journey to earth. 

SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

Everyone is shocked at this development, especially Rad, much to Alexis’ confusion. 

Did someone spike your Mountain Dew at lunch?

Then, the mini-con they have starts going crazy.

Another mini-con joins them, and transforms into Carlos’ skateboard. 

It'll be fun for about 3.7 seconds!

The last Mini-con on deck then transforms into Alexis’ scooter.

Megatron, while surveying the moon, finds a mini-con. He is quite pleased at this development.

Holographic Zygarde. The one card I was looking for, yes.

Billy makes it out of the cave, finally.

I thought we were doomed to die sitting in our own filth!

Fred pops out as well.

I know what you mean! I would want to die licking chocolate syrup off Summer Glau's legs!

Everyone decides to head home while they work this all out. 

Back at the Decepticon base, in the remains of the Nemesis; Megatron is not pleased with the insubordination of his comrades.

You pompous ass!

Starscream then starts acting coy, as he usually does.

Oh, I was just thinking about earth television! That Super Milk Chan is quite the little rapscallion!

Upon getting his new alt-mode (which I’m glad is reissued as part of the Thrilling 30 line of figures); he goes right back to the sarcastic butt-kissing.

I live to serve you, lord Megatron.

As it were, the Autobots are also going through their phase of finding alt-modes to blend in as the eponymous robots in disguise. It’s pretty obvious what this one will become, so let this music pave the way and also give a shout out to the Japanese name for Optimus, Convoy. 

We got a great big convoy, ain't she a beautiful sight!

We then get a scene were the kids start jamming through the desert on their new friends/toys. Oh, to be 12 again. 

Carlos effortlessly skates over fallen trees. 

Yeah! Shorty got down and said come get me!

They manage to not only cross water, but drive up cliff faces as well! 

Can I get an encore? Do you want more?

Who should greet them at the top but Megatron?

Sure enough, his other Decepticons from the first wave of figures are there as well.

Decepticon Supercons $14.99 each! Available in Demolishor, Starscream, and Cyclonus!

Everyone starts running, and Cyclonus is after Carlos! My brother had Cyclonus when he was younger, but unfortunately, it didn’t survive the move.

I hope I don't park on any tequila bottles!

Optimus then rams Demolishor off the road with his new alt-mode!

10-4, Rubber Duck!

He opens the door and invites them in. 

Believe me, this is one truck you can trust when they say to get in.

They climb in the cab, noticing the Autobot sigil matches their mini-cons.

Demolishor is not happy about the ramming, and grabs the cab of the truck.

He runs down Demolishor again, this time in robot mode.

How Peter Travers felt after reviewing the latest blockbuster from his least favorite director.

With this, Optimus continues to roll into battle.

Life is a highway! I want to ride it all night long!

He combines with his trailer in a sort of battle mode, which tends to be common in newer adaptations, particularly in anime contributions to the canon. Also, this tends to make the figure that has one a big seller.

Supreme Leader Optimus Prime! Only $39.95!

Optimus continues to battle with Megatron in some fairly decent animation. While not as lavishly-funded as its contemporaries of the mecha genre; you can bet they saved the money they had for the bigger episodes like these. 

So, Megatron activates the mini-con he has and-

Holy crap, he just blew up a mountain!

This is Leader-1, a mini-con that activates the cannon on his side.

This death ray shall benefit all of mankind!

As you can tell, the weapon has quite a bit of kick to it. Plus, the fusion cannon tends to be Megatron’s signature weapon, appearing in some form in most adaptations.

It's the new Guncon 4! A dramatic increase in firing precision, at a third the weight!

Hot Shot manages to scoop up the kids as if they were the toys. Well, I’ve used most of my Spaceballs jokes on the Decepticons, so let’s give the kid appeal character one. 

Did you see anything? "No sir, I didn't see you playing with your dolls again!" GOOD!

Red Alert has also managed to save the mini-cons for their side. 

Good, they're intact. If they at least stay in near-mint condition, I shall still be able to pay off my student loans!

Optimus, undeterred by Megatron’s weaponry, faces off with him. This is every bit as awesome to my 12-year-old self as it aired alongside fellow mecha series Megas XLR, which also owes a lot to mecha anime and has lots of Transformers gags.

I DIG GIANT ROBOTS! YOU DIG GIANT ROBOTS! WE DIG GIANT ROBOTS! CHICKS DIG GIANT ROBOTS!

Megatron is still eager to end their rivalry. 

I would have waited an eternity for this. It's over, Prime.

Even so, Optimus still gives Megatron a good punch to go out on.

NEVER!

Red Alert then discovers another Mini-Con in the bluffs. 

Red Alert then activates the mini-con, and it turns into a new gun for him to battle. It also looks a lot like Robocop’s gun, befitting an Autobot that turns into a police car. 

Your move, creep!

The Decepticons return to the Nemesis, and Megatron puts his fist through a table at their failure.

Is there no earth table I can't break? Must I conquer Mars to get some decent furniture?

We even get our own little taste of Armada’s version of the classic faction wipes. I wish my computer’s editing software had these.

Dun, dun dun dun, dun dun, dun!

The kids are back in the Ark, as Optimus does not want to endanger their safety; a perfectly valid complaint for human characters even in adaptations that focus on the camp value rather than what’s essentially a thinly-veiled robotic civil war as well as a 30-minute toy commercial.  Also, the Super-Con Optimus Prime is the first Optimus I had that turned into a truck. I managed to find mine when I moved into my new home. He just needs to have his smokestacks and mini-con replaced.

Megatron must be stopped, no matter the cost!

Rad then relays the information to Optimus; saying he did find the mini-con.

We thought we could sell it and buy an Xbox!

Then, a flash of light changed everything. 

Face of an angel! The wings of a dove! The heart of a lion that's pumping with love!

Rad is astounded at the chain of events he kicked off from that one box. 

You think that's chill, the effects and action of Age of Extinction will blow your mind.

They are informed of the conflict on Cybertron, and how it sent them to the far reaches of the stars; including the Aerialbots, used as extras. They do appear later in new forms; and I hope my favorite one, Silverbolt, gets a new figure in the Thrilling 30 line (Jetfire got one based on his War For Cybertron form; and it’s no longer a walking lawsuit with the owners of Macross!).

Aerialbots, attack!

It takes a bit of prying; but the kids finally convince the Autobots to give them a hand. Optimus decides to let them have the mini-cons they found as protection, and they could come in handy. As you can tell, we have entered the “Base” segment of the pilot.

Super-Con Optimus Prime and Hot Shot only $14.99 each!

Optimus continues, saying that the mini-cons are essentially the linchpin of the conflict, and the Autobots vow not to use them the way the Decepticons do.

So, Rad, Carlos, and Alexis band together in approval. 

The shit is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

Hot Shot, ever out to prove he’s “down” with the “scene” and the “Pogs”, decides to put his hand up as well. 

The massive arms are surprisingly toy-accurate!

They knock their metal fists in agreement, in a method that proves the Transformers had indeed come full circle from their ‘80s origins. It was among many cases of ‘80s culture coming back into fashion; and it looks like the same thing is starting to happen with the ‘90s as well.

Are you a bad enough 'bot to rescue the president?

Thus, Optimus Prime has remained an icon by, indeed, transforming to fit the needs of the fiction of the time and advances in toy design with each passing year. This pose is very easy to replicate with my Armada Optimus.

She asked for one more dance, and I'm like, YEAH! How the Hell am I supposed to leave?

So, the next day, Rad and the others are back at school; jamming in gym class. It feels like a rap video in so many ways.

You could, she wouldn't fork over me! I'm only one call away!

Rad and Carlos’ team wins the game in a manner worthy of a good game of NBA Jam Tournament Edition. I am very glad that got brought back.

Later that day, we see how jealous Fred and Billy are at Rad, Carlos, and Alexis. Also, Billy suddenly breaks into quasi-Mandark voice.

That Dexter will fall to me yet! HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA!

So everyone starts riding home, and I’m still finding Alexis on a Vespa quite amusing. The way things are going, she might grow up to be Haruko from FLCL.

RIDE ON SHOOTING STAR!

Back at the base, the kids determine a way to make it more inviting to them.

Also, is Rad’s name wasn’t enough, his catchphrase was “wicked sweet.” Oh yes, what better way to update an ‘80s property by using vernacular that would not be out of place in the time of Reaganomics and acid-washed jeans? 

Awesome! Maximundo! Bodacious! Plasmic! Schway! The Smurfs!

Alexis is given another guardian, in Laserbeak, who is not only more heroic, but much more cuddly in his small scale and orange colors.

I imagine some internet toy reviewer will take a good look at you!

So, we end on the Autobots vowing to find the mini-cons and stop the Decepticons once and for all!

More than meets the eye! Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of the Decepticons!

So, that’s the feature-length pilot of Transformers Armada. While it is definitely a product of its time; I actually did not find it as bad as many Transformers fans say. The animation is decent, and despite the humans being the humans; it does have a good amount of world-building to it, especially in the story arcs that come along later. Next time, however, I deal with something that is not as well thought-out, as I have been wanting to for a long time. Next time, I take another look at an episode of Code Geass R2. Till all are one…