Recap: Game Off!

Hello again. As you can very well tell, there have been many video game references on this blog; and it’s the time of year that there are many anticipated releases on the calendar. Ones that are of interest to me apart from the givens (looking at you, PS4 Grand Theft Auto V, Sonic Boom and Pokémon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire) are Destiny and Super Smash Bros. 3DS and Wii U. The former is an attempt to move away from the more conventional aspects of the crowded shooter market; and the latter is, of course, the latest entry in the fighting game series that has every bit as active a competitive scene as Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat, but also is good, cartoonish fun in a free for all with all your favorite Nintendo characters. A notable new character that I’m enjoying playing with in the demo is Mega Man.

Oh yes, it’s that time again. To look at Mega Man; who was once Capcom’s bread and butter, but has effectively been left to rot in Junk Man’s scrapheap. The video games getting shafted has been a longtime disapproval of mine for Capcom; but I have also expressed dismay for how he’s treated in animation.

I mean, this is a character who is essentially a young man who gets a robotic suit of armor and the chance to do great things. The ideal children’s fantasy: sounds like easy pickings for an animated series. Well, Captain N thought that stripping most of the characters’ powers out in favor of mere super strength and a voice that sounds like Phil from Rugrats if he grew up to be a chain-smoker would be more appealing. Mega Man getting his own TV series fared little better: the Americanization; shallow writing, and stiff animation have long been the subject of mockery. While there is some genuine fandom of that series; there’s nowhere near as much as there is scads of YouTube Poops, not helped by the fact that the series definitely could have benefited from a darker tone in the vein of Sonic SatAM or Batman: The Animated Series.

Even so, there’s more to be said about the last attempt to this day; done by the Blue Bomber’s country of origin. Last time, we dealt with the likes of Robotic fish and a man who could not be a less obvious villain in my back-to-back recaps of Mega Man NT Warrior. While I did watch a little bit of episode 6; I couldn’t find too much to tie into the circumstances. The next one, however; is even more appropriate and insane. So, let’s open up “Game Off!”

We once again get that garbled opening, but I’m going to skip it again in favor of some musicians who are capable of making music of this kind without making you get ear surgery afterword. 

We open on a museum as we are introduced to Count Zap; who was in episode 2, but I passed on that one for not having enough material for my style. Looking on Mega Man Wiki for research (as I must once again point out I never played the Battle Network games); he’s actually intimidating in the games, but the anime scrapped that in favor of making him silly. Even so, I must point out that the ineffectual sympathetic villain is a workable character type, especially in video game adaptations. Team Rocket; Dr. Ivo “Robotnik” Eggman- those characters can turn a fluff script into laughter. The problem is when the audience is irritated by them rather than amused by them.

Sadly, Count Zap is a case of the latter.

Dong ma, Powerline wasn't this cheesy!

His Net Navi is Elec-Man, a reimagining of a villain from the classic series. He does retain his electricity motif; but his threat level is a definite informed attribute when he’s fighting the security systems.

He steals a crown from a museum, and declares himself king. 

You're a loony.

The next day, there is a coincidental broadcast about how this is the latest in a string of robberies by World 3. If this his how bad living there is; I’d rather live in Detroit.

That night, Count Zap’s crime spree continues, with yet another artifact stolen! 

He must have been king of the wicker people!

The day after THAT, it turns out Mr. Higgsby is also selling video games at his Chip Shop. He starts yelling at the customers in line waiting for preorders.

I don't want this to turn out like the PS4 launch!

Naturally, Lan, Dax, and May Lu just happen to be in the neighborhood. The way they’re reacting; I half expect them to be bartering with Jawas. 

I was just going to Toschi station to pick up some power converters!

It seems the line is for the latest entry in the “Maximum Valor” series; which lends more weight to my Call of Duty hyperbole from “Mega Man! Plug In!” Lan, of course, decided to stop for breakfast or two.

What about second breakfast?

They are once again greeted by Mesa; who I have taken to as an ensemble darkhorse in this glorified video game and toy commercial. Yet, I’m more of a person who likes his messages disguised as consumerism straight; as the trinity of Pokémon, Digimon, and Yu-Gi-Oh was more to my taste in those days. 

Mesa once again laments that Lan is more into games than physical activity. Uh, weren’t you already having this argument 2 episodes ago? Oh, that’s right, I really shouldn’t be trying to apply logic to this. I keep forgetting.

Mesa seems to share my growing indoctrination to this; and decides to get a piece of this pie.

I'd buy that for a dollar!

He starts shaking Mr. Higurashi When They Cry, but he apparently can’t tell he’s being grabbed by the shoulders, rather than the neck. Still got nothing on what Batman Beyond was doing in those days. 

Please, you're not the first person to do this to me. I still have scars from the PS3 launch!

Also, Lan claims that the line is longer. No it isn’t! The perspective changed! Are you blind?! 

It seems that Mesa is also still into the teacher, who I’m just learning is named Ms. Mari. Now, I think this man could make Aqualung seem legit.

The kids are understandably disgusted at this.

I never thought the moment would come where I'd have to gouge my own eyes out!

At that moment, Mr. Hadar comes out with a sign saying he’s out of preorders written in-get this-Comic Sans! Comic Sans! As if this didn’t seem like a low-rent Power Rangers knockoff already!

Then, who should show up but Yai! Geez! I bet you’d have a way to get these clowns KISS tickets if you had to! 

Lan than says he will take back every thing he said about her. Somehow, I doubt that, and your future relationship with Misa Amane was more convincing! 

Then, we once again get our unintentionally hilarious rendition of Dr. Wily in a getup that even Red Skull would find a bit much.

Hail Hydra!

Of course, Dr. Wily assigned Count Zap to do the ring of thefts in order to steal the master file of the new game. OK; even by this anime’s warped view of hacking, that’s ludicrous. At least Agent Smith manipulated a member of the resistance who shared his worldview. Dr. Wily could give Emperor Pilaf a run for his money in hiring spies in the classified section.

We then cut to what seems to be a subway terminal where a young girl is meeting underground.

Also, looking on Mega Man Wiki for her, she is called Sal. Sal is wondering to herself how all these robberies add up.

Even her inner monologs know this makes no sense!

She meets with her associate, Black Rose, to consult on the matter.

Rather than use tarot cards, Black Rose determines the next target from an ordinary deck of playing cards. While that is a good poker hand; even that crappy Fox Kids edit of Escaflowne left the tarot cards in (much prefer the subtitled version; even the uncut has inconsistent dub voices).

Everyone has dinner at Yai’s mansion; since they have gathered to play the game at the midnight launch. Even in those days, those were quite common. 

Mr. Ayano, Yai’s father, is delighted to have guests over for the occasion. 

I haven't had this much fun since Joe Lieberman!

After quite of bit of prying; Yai makes it official, once again proving she’s a gold digger waiting to happen. 

He actually takes them down to where the master file is being kept. Wait, the server farm is just downstairs in his mansion? In this case, I’d sooner trust ENCOM with my data than AyanoTech!

Geez Louis, now we’re back to arguing over the midnight launch? This is making the time frame in The She Creature seem logical! 

Space has warped, and time is now bendable!

Then, Count Zap apparently just flies by in a hot air balloon. 

Where'd he come from? The state fair in Omaha, Nebraska?

Also, it seems Mr. Ayano holds employee meetings in his mansion as well. I haven’t seen a man this controlling since Adrian Veidt! 

Then, 10 minutes in, things get even dumber.

Mike Nelson: Oh look! It's not often you see the stupidest thing you've ever seen!

These guys are honestly just watching a clock for an hour and 15 minutes until the game launches? Did no one in charge of production consider that maybe they could do something related to the game until it launches? That is a viable option. I know, I’ve done it before. Even though I didn’t have enough money to get my 3DS and my copy of Pokémon Y right away; I did see the live stream of the simultaneous launch. No one in the US, Japan, or Europe was wasting time with their watches; though I did see lots of people of every shape, size, and hue decked out in their various cosplays in Tokyo, London, Paris, and New York. Yet, no one stopped to think that; because thought is not a luxury even Yai is afforded. Everyone involved with this anime seems to think with a mindset addled by a diet of Schnapps and scotch. I also think a bit of Zyrtec may be involved as well.

Count Zap then decides to put his plan into action with Waspinator here.

Waspinator, terrorize!

First, the monitor goes out.

Well this sucks!

Then, Lan once again starts whining about the situation; but it’s no skin off my nose when I have ISIS and financial aid on my mind.

Count Zap then takes control of the monitors. As if Yai’s treehouse wasn’t enough like the Starship Enterprise. 

Hi everyone, I'm Count Zap!

Count Zap, rather than come up with an actual explanation; apparently decided to steal the master file for the sole purpose of stealing smiles along with it. So, he’s essentially a tokusatsu villain without any of the maleficence or self-awareness to go along with his playful cyberterrorism. 

With this, he takes another lick to his his guitar. Hate to see what Activision would have put him through if Capcom decided this would be a better representation of him than a legitimate threat.

Through the fire and the flames we carry on!

Yes folks, by this episode; this anime has essentially abandoned all pretense of trying to hide its Hollywood hacking; as shown by how Dax’s ass gets set on fire for no reason. 

Oh boy, looks like Cartman got abducted by aliens again.

To assure he will have no interference, he decides to trap Lan in a glass cage; and he is surprisingly nonchalant about the occurrence. 

I'M TRAPPED IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION!

With minimal effort, ElecMan manages to find and start hacking the master file.

Huh. It took me 2 1/2 hours to get the demo of Super Smash Bros. 3DS!

Apart from AyanoTech somehow not thinking to keep backups of the master file for mass production; conveniently, Count Zap locked Lan in with the monitor and the Fire Wire port! I’ve seen more foresight from the Republican Space Rangers! 

My god. You are a fucking moron.

Sweet Christmas, and I thought that episode of CSI Miami knew jack about how game design worked! It was bad enough when these setups were applied to appliances and traffic lights; but to misunderstand the very basic aspects of how a game system works? Unbelievable! To think I once had trouble comprehending The Matrix Revolutions! 

Yet, Count Zap is still chewing more scenery than Arnold Schwarzenegger’s portrayal of Mr. Freeze! 

Yes! Collect the mushrooms! Stomp the Goombas!

Lan cannot even comprehend the situation, as per usual. 

Look at these graphics! I thought this was a finished game!

So, because these guys are computer programs; Viz is A-OK with Mega Man giving the Darth Maul treatment to ElecMan.

Hyah! Urk! Uh!

Even so, Count Zap is undeterred. He vows to stop Mega Man and get away with the master file; then capture that Pikachu! Sorry, my mind retreated to a series’ that isn’t TOTALLY implausible; and is actually watchable on most given days and states of sobriety.

Look at these angles. The perspective is all wrong; to the degree that placement of characters seems to change wildly within the same scene, as shown here when ElecMan heals himself.

Are you kidding?!

Naturally, ElecMan continues showboating while looking like a B-movie villain. 

Sure glad I don't look stupid in this.

Count Zap continues to taunt Lan about the situation as he has him on the ropes.

That tears it! You are OUT of my Xbox Live friend list!

Lan berates Count Zap for his actions; yet even though they’re the same voice actor, it simply lacks the impact that Light Yagami does in his very presence. He had my confidence BEFORE he opened his mouth; something that is crucial once they actually do start talking and establish who they will be when I press play.

"I am justice," this is not.

ElecMan just casually grabs Mega Man’s Cyber Sword while looking like an even more electrified Edward Nygma. 

I don't think so!

Then, who should enter the space but Wood Man. I am glad he is one of the Robot Masters that grants Mega Man a special power in his Super Smash Bros. form.

Huh huh, you said Wood Man!

To finally end the fight, Mega Man then stabs ElecMan in the chest with the Electro Sword!

This is for canceling Mega Man Legends 3!

To further cement the adaptational comic relief of Count Zap; some rose darts (just bear with me, it’s almost over) cut off his pants; and he of course has very splotchy boxers. Why? His motif is electricity-based, are underwear lightning bolts that much harder to draw than online ones? Furthermore, let’s have another video game villain tell this ninny hammer off.

Shall we have a moment of silence for this man's credibility as a villain threat?

Black Rose has saved the game and the day. It’s quite clear who this was; but let’s face it: she is still much more interesting to me than our leads. Explain to me why she and Mesa couldn’t have been the heroes?

Day has risen, and the game has gone live; with our protagonists (I hesitate to call them heroes at this point) getting a taste of it. Lan, of course, still acts smug as can be towards those around him. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen! 

Uh, I'm just going to go find a cash machine.

Mesa; much like two episodes ago, demands Mr. Gigglepie open the store for the game and tell him were Ms. Mari is. Did we forget what happened two episodes ago? Clearly, someone did. 

Don't pull this with me! I killed a man for a Red Power Ranger in '94!

Mesa, realizing he’s been had; chases Lan in the same manner that the Swedish Chef often chased Camilla the Chicken. 

Bork bork bork!

We then close on Mr. Juggernaut announcing the N1 Grand Prix, a tournament consisting of Net Navi. I’m letting you know right now: I’m not doing the tournament arc. These Mega Man recaps are strangely mind-numbing to write; so I don’t attempt them very often. Unlike Code Geass R2, however; it isn’t a bad continuation of something I like, so I have no fandom of it to ruin. Just as well; this was a bigger crock than Watch Dogs!

Whoever wins, you lose.

“Game Off” is probably the weakest of the Mega Man NT Warrior episodes I’ve recapped; and it’s fairly easy to see why. This was an early harbinger of Capcom’s problems in the following decade; where Count Zap could simply get himself an ISO torrent of Maximum Valor without even having to bat an eye or even get dressed. Before I once again become enraptured with my Super Smash Bros.3DS demo; I think I’ll try to squeeze out one more recap. Next time: I shall look at my favorite episode of Cowboy Bebop! You will have to wait and see what it is! See you, space cowboy!