Recap: Yo-Kai Illoo/Let's Exorcise

Hello again. Well, with another E3 having come and gone; it’s as good a time as any for me to address more Yo-Kai Watch. It has been duly noted that many people love this anime. I do not. Be that as it may; there is a second season being dubbed as well as the first movie. While many people have tried to convince me otherwise; if you expect me to simply not watch something, you’ve clearly come to the wrong place. So; let’s open this up. 

We open the first segment I have chosen; “Yo-Kai Illoo” on Springdale Elementary, where it’s apparently Valentine’s day and the girls wonder about their day. As I pointed out in my recap of “Gohan’s First Date,” I’m asexual; and I spent my Singles Awareness Day watching Deadpool. So, seeing this as a man who doesn’t really obsess over romantic plot lines doesn’t really do anything for me. 

Of course, Nate, Bear and Eddie claim to not be interested in that sort of thing. The episode will definitely go out of its way to make sure that’s disproven, I promise you that.

Naturally, Eddie is the first one to be asked out. The girl who does so (normally, I would try to learn her name; but it’s honestly not worth it this time) claims to be into Eddie for his headphones and how tech-savvy he is. Is this chick really into tweedy tech nerds? Christmas, this is trite.

Right on cue; Eddie is ecstatic at the idea of something more tangible than filthy Zootopia fan fiction. 

Boi-oi-oi-oing! Hehehehe!

To top it off, he’s given a box of chocolates to close the deal. 

Hot damn! No more ogling my poster of Gal Godot as Wonder Woman for me!

This is then followed by Bear being asked out by Lulu; someone I only know the name of from doing a side quest in the game (Note: while the game is decent; it’s definitely not the next Pokémon, nor is it as good as Ni No Kuni from the same developer. Depending on how I feel; I may or may not be trading it back in towards Sun and Moon. We’ll see.). 

Nate, distraught at the idea of being alone on Valentine’s day; then collapses.

Help. Police. Murder.

We then get an imagine spot where Whisper is apparently one of the doctors. Personally, if I was being taken into the ICU by a doctor whose head looked like a Stay-Puft knockoff; I’d probably have a fucking heart attack.

Nate ends up flatlining, and Whisper tries to defibrillate him.

Stop. Don't. Come back.

He comes to; and of course decides to get to the bottom of this. Yes, an anime with unrequited love and revenge fantasy as plotlines. You know, for kids! 

He runs into the park; and I still feel that Johnny Yong Bosch isn’t giving this role his all as a voice actor. He’s a good one, don’t get me wrong; but I can’t shake the whole feeling his performance is like a discount Noby from Doraemon (a better anime, by the way). Even when he was a Power Ranger, he was more energetic than this! 

Joke's over, bone brain!

Also, if it’s all right for me to ask, how the Hell did they get this…

… from this?

I know things often have to be changed for adaptations; but Pokémon at least tried to replicate the games’ battles in anime form! Are people who like this series just afraid of losing touch with the younger generation?

We are then introduced to Illoo; who seems to be dressed to go to a midnight showing of Suicide Squad (by the way; that looks like a pretty cool movie. I’m also expecting a copy of Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Ultimate Edition on Blu-Ray soon.). 

Nate then decides to engage Illoo with the intent of getting some of Katie’s poon tang! See, Hino, I can make risqué jokes too; it’s not hard. 

It's morphin' time! MASTODON!

He summons Jibanyan, but that just ends up backfiring as Illoo makes him think a piece of playground equipment is a plate of chocolate bars. Yeah, and I’m Louis CK! Were you expecting me to type that? No? Now you know how I feel whenever I write about this.

He then decides to summon Manjimutt; and I once again omitted his segment in this episode on the grounds that I find him more interesting than Nate and Whisper. I have started a backup file with Nate in the game; but as I expected, it’s still bogged down by how the anime has made him the most obnoxious Asian character since Short Round, minus anything that made him useful.

Illoo then gives him a fantasy of schoolgirls to ogle. OK, now they’re just TRYING to turn him into the creepy neighbor from Family Guy; aren’t they? 

Then, Nate turns into a soccer player practicing for Inazuma Eleven. I don’t like that series either; but I might do a Next Top 13 Anime I Will Never recap in lieu of writing about it to explain why. 

This fantasy somehow breaks Illoo’s illusion and gives him his medal. Screw it; this segment’s almost over; I’ll manage. Might as well put the toy plug in anyway, though.

Only $9.95! Watch and other medals sold separately!

Katie (who I am primarily playing as in the game) then comes up to Nate.

He gets his chocolates; and while it’s all another one of Illoo’s tricks; Whisper then decides to just let the baby have his bottle; stating that “ignorance is bliss.” I guess that can be said for all fans of this anime who still are living in the Matrix. I, on the other hand; took the red pill as soon as I could. 

Before I continue, I’m going to just say that some unnamed parties accused me of “trash-talking” this anime in earlier recaps. While I may have let my emotions write those initial ones; I personally have no intention of getting rid of them, given how I was still coming to terms with an old friend of mine committing suicide. That said, while I took no pleasure in banning this man; I know full well when I’m trash-talking. Trust me, this is better. 

The next segment; “Let’s Exorcise” (I think that pun just gave me a half-life) opens on the Adams household, essentially turning what’s a reasonably creative setup into a corny ‘90s sitcom.

Mrs. Adams then asks Nate what happened to her gourmet European chocolate bars. Obvious localization coverup is obvious.

Also, I didn’t mention this in prior recaps I’ve done of this anime; but how old was Mrs. Adams when she got married and had Nate? To my knowledge; Nate is 11, but she doesn’t look much older than her late 20s or early 30s. I digress; I’m not here to discuss family dynamics, I’m here to deconstruct media series meant for children and make fun of them!

Even so, Mrs. Adams just brushes this off as she gets back to sorting her groceries. Sigourney Weaver, she is not.

Nate goes up to his room; and sees Jibanyan with his manga in his hands (not merely comics, I suggest you learn the distinction, Steinberg and Kogan) and the missing chocolate in his sash. Who’d have thunk it, folks? 

Whisper then tells Jibanyan there’s only room for one Yokai and Nate doesn’t make a good roommate. Is this supposed to be a joke? Because I’m not laughing.

Whisper then claims he’s asking Jibanyan nicely to leave. No you’re not. You’re yelling at him, you’re insulting him and Nate; and you’re being a total dick about it, something that was absent from the Japanese version; or at least less apparent. 

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

I’m honestly running out of things to say about the voice acting, Pinocchio wasn’t this wooden.

So, this piece of Slimer cum then tries to strangle Jibanyan with his own charm. Now you are being a total ass, welcome to the club.

Jibanyan then explains the reason why he’s crashing there is because there’s been an uptick in cat-type Yokai in the intersection where he lives. Well, Level-5 is getting a bit excessive with all these snow clones, to say nothing about the planned third game letting people make their own. Seriously, at least when Pokémon introduces a new Pikachu analog, it’s usually just one or two per game!

Then, more crazy stuff starts happening in the Adams’ house; starting with more chocolate being stolen.

Nate then has to throw Jibanyan out of the bathroom. Again, how many times are you going to go back to the well of toilet humor? I know this is written for 7-year-olds; but even they might like something else to challenge them every so often! I actually had to rule out some episodes because of how they were little more than 8-minute piss and fart jokes. I need more to work with than that.

Then, Jibanyan starts fiddling with the TV; confusing Mr. Adams at the sight of the “girl group.” Viz, how many times are you going to keep calling them that? You did think up a name later, so what was the point of this? It’s like just calling Metallica a “rock band.”

Yet, the nights go on as the Adams parents keep getting spooked like they were in an old episode of Scooby-Doo. What’s the matter? You got no scrote?

Again, I would suggest that the characters being idiots isn’t a problem; but rather they’re not entertaining idiots. Good examples include Son Goku, Monkey D. Luffy, Natsu Dragneel; or Ayumu “Osaka” Kasuga. Call me crazy; but I tend to have trouble identifying with characters whose brain cell count is directly proportionate to their shoe size.

It's a wonder how those minds can generate enough power to move.

Confused at everything going on; Nate’s parents then decide to hire a paranormal investigator. 

I see the old priest. Where's the young priest?

Whisper is skeptical of the idea; saying “they probably hired him off the internet.” Well, that’s what happens when you get your priest on Craigslist.

The priest, or “onmyioji” (a term which was understandably cut from the dub) then starts spouting a bunch of gibberish in this discount Mad Hatter/King Candy voice. I’ve been saving this Ghostbusters quote for a while: “Your theories are the worst kind of popular tripe, your methods are sloppy and your conclusions are highly questionable. You are a poor scientist!”

To think people are dissing Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy.

Yet, this chant somehow causes Whisper to ascend; with him proclaiming “It’s full of stars.” Word of advice, guys: don’t reference something I love in something I hate. Just a favor.

Nate then tries to harangue the priest with some “scones.” I put those in quotes because in the Japanese version; they’re actually manjuu, a type of pastry filled with sweet bean paste. Once again; I refer you to Katie and this Awkward Zombie comic in response.

Of course, Nate’s parents don’t seem happy about his interference. 

Not now, Nate. Demonic possession is family time.

Then, Nate starts massaging the priest’s shoulders! I can’t even touch this scene. If you walked into a room showing this, what would you say?

Despite all this (I didn’t even show you half the bullshit between Nate and the priest); Whisper and Jibanyan start ascending into heaven. Personally, if I were making the call; I’d send them to Hell.

Then, Nate simply says the spirits are gone! I would complain about this ass pull; but it makes the episode shorter, so I’ll be fine.

You figured out how to do this yourself? Well, I still get paid!

So, we close on Jibanyan cleaning their house; even taking the time to straighten up everyone’s shoes in the doorway. OK, I don’t even need to check this time: houses are not built like this in Idaho. This is not Idaho; and the Americanization of this anime really isn’t working. I’m just calling the setting “Random Fantasy Zone” from now on. 

Of the Yo-Kai Watch recaps I’ve done so far; this is the episode I’ve disliked the least. It honestly took me a long time to determine what episode of the dub I was doing next because of how some of the fans have been trolling me. While the animation is admittedly impressive for a TV anime budget, the story makes no goddamn sense to me and the characters are more blatantly toyetic than the Mattel and Mars Bar Quick Energy Chocobot Hour.

People have tried to tell me that this isn’t a bad anime. To me; nothing can make an anime more mediocre for me than everyone else saying how amazing it is. Regrettably, this has also soured my potential enjoyment of the video game; but even that is subject to hype backlash, albeit to a lesser extent. Nothing can make a decent game harder for me to play than calling it a fantastic one.

My point is; you can definitely do worse among anime of its type, but you can also do far better. I agree it’s not as bad as say, Bakugan is; but it’s every bit as insufferable because of how much potential is wasted in the concept.

As for the plans to bring the sequels stateside: I admit I don’t know if they’ll achieve the same level of success they have in Japan, but I also admit I’m once again skeptical. With Pokémon Sun and Moon generating more hype at this point in time; as well as Pokémon Go shattering records among cell phone games, Hino and Level-5 have an uphill battle on their hands.

I still plan to do a couple more subbed targets and the movie; but not right away. I need to detox again; and I have a couple options on the table to do so. You should see them out soon. See you, space cowboy.