However, given how the same first minute had me bust out laughing; I decided to check it out from morbid curiosity and take one for the team. It may not be the worst attempt at a live-action anime/manga adaptation I've seen, but I found its badness so hilarious that I thought I would share my experience with you all. This is not a recap or a review of the film, but it is a riff to experiment with live-action coverage on this blog. I must also say that there are spoilers for the film as well as the source material; to illustrate how even if it's technically an alternate universe, the internal logic and unique approach to its subject matter have been seemingly cast aside and warped into a bad episode of CSI. So, let's open this up; and feel free to grab your preferred coping mechanism I've you've got it.
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| From the director of Blair Witch! ... That's not a good sign. |
Even though I admit I have mixed feelings about the setting change to Seattle, most of the cinematography is decent from a technical standpoint. I do stress "most," however, seeing as how while it does fine when things are kept grounded; once the supernatural elements come into play, restraint basically goes out the window as the subtlety and nuance of the source material are jettisoned in favor of editing and camera work that straddle the line between a SyFy originals movie and one of those corny old after school specials.
Anyway, the titular Death Note falls from the sky as a young man named Light, played by Nat Wolff picks it up. For the sake of argument, I'm not including his surname, since even though I kept an open mind towards the AU, the casting is the least of this film's problems even if it is a key one.
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| Outfit by Abercrombie and Fitch, Dutch angle on loan from the 1960s Batman TV series. |
Rather than some muggers in a convenience store, it turns out that Light's first victims are being set up as generic cartoon high school bullies; complete with actors that are clearly in their 20s or 30s trying to pass for teenagers. Disregarding any of the dialogue between these characters, I'm already getting a vibe that none of the actors want to be there, and they're desperately trying to hold back their laughter at the script.
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| Honestly, the Power Rangers did a better job at faking being in high school! |
After an argument between them all and a visit to the principal's office, things clearly start to spiral out of control. This probably wasn't the reaction the creators wanted, but I've been laughing ever since the first minute of screentime and now, just as Light is meeting Ryuk in detention; the film goes into full-on batshit insanity that it never gets out of. The moment Light sees Ryuk, he starts screaming like Shia LaBeouf on crack.
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| Not pictured-all the film's potential and dignity being whizzed down its leg. |
(Laughs) I mean, wow is this scene bad. Not only are the direction and editing on par with a film from the Asylum, but I can see Nat Wolff trying way too hard to hold back his laughter. It also begs the question of how much he really wanted the money when he said yes to this. It also lacks the nuance that both Mamoru Miyano and Brad Swaile brought to their roles. He seems less like a higher up entry in my top 13 anime villains and more like Zack Morris from Saved by the Bell if he went crazy and tried to kill everybody. I make that joke as someone who's not a big fan of that show, I was more of a Star Trek: The Next Generation guy in those days.
In addition to the rules of the note being glossed over in comparison to the source material, I get another chuckle from Ryuk asking Light "shall we begin?" Well, somebody saw Star Trek Into Darkness. Seriously, hearing these lines is like a dramatic reading of some teenager's fan fiction.
Here, at the 10-minute mark, we are introduced to Ryuk. In addition to the CGI being somewhat decent for the modest budget they have; Willem Dafoe is one of the few people in the movie that seems to be enjoying himself. He is an actor I have immense respect for, and he's been in many acclaimed films and roles over the years. Even though this is a bad movie, Dafoe knows full well the script is silly and decides to ham it up deliciously. He is a welcome role in a film where everyone else is trying to take things deadly seriously, to no avail.
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| Can Spider-Man come out to play? |
However, once Light decides to use the Death Note for the first time; it's clear how many liberties they take with the story. Even with the film being an alternate universe, the curiosity and moral ambiguity that Ryuk originally had have been replaced by malice and the same kind of glee that a child would get from raiding the cookie jar. On top of that, even though the film's kills are relatively creative, they are much gorier and over the top than they are in the source material. Also, this stereotypical jock is named Kenny, which makes this even less like you'd see it in a Death Note movie and more like in an episode of South Park.
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| Oh my god, they killed Kenny! |
So, after Kenny Doyle is beheaded by a freak car accident; it's quite clear that the film is much less subtle than its namesake. I may not have a problem with the gore, but I agree it's out place; and in my case, it's very over-the-top. For the record, I have seen quite a few horror films before I came of age. I was 13 when I saw the original Halloween movies for the first time. I was 12 when I first saw The Ring and the Japanese film "Ringu," and I was 11 when I saw the original Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street movies. I think I was 10 when I first played some of the Resident Evil and Silent Hill games, and I was 9 when I first played the original Mortal Kombat. Still, it illustrates something about the movie that's much more concerning than a different setting and cast: the westernized AU has made numerous bizarre and often illogical changes to the story and characterization. I may not be entirely against the idea of changing things for adaptations like other people, but I agree that they should be changes that make sense for the narrative! As the film goes on, the internal logic that made the original story work so well has been cast aside in favor of an unintentionally hilarious attempt to condense all 108 chapters of the manga and 37 episodes of the anime into a single film. The unintentional black comedy, Dafoe's performance as Ryuk and some interesting visuals are among the few things that keep the movie from sinking to the same lows as Dragonball Evolution or the live-action Ghost in the Shell for me; since Willem seems to be an even crazier version of Michael Keaton in Beetlejuice.
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| Go ahead, make my millennium! |
Also, the relationship between Light and his father is a lot less complex than it was in the source. The only similarity between them is that his dad's role as police chief adds some stakes to the investigation of "Kira," but everything else is just dull. He goes from a tough but fair character to basically every widowed father in every other movie ever, least of all ones that involve the police. You probably know where this is headed, and some idea of who Light's next victim is.
So, in addition to Light's father being this close to Kurtwood Smith's character in Dead Poets' Society; it turns out that through some exposition, Light's mother was killed by a corrupt pharmaceutical executive who managed to avoid conviction through so many procedural clichés, you'd swear that he had the same legal team OJ Simpson did a while back. As Light tries to determine his next move with Ryuk in his closet; I can only imagine what this plot thread would have been like if the script was written after the Martin Skrheli debacle.
(Laughs) Sorry, it's just that every time that there's interaction between Light and Ryuk in this movie, there are almost always scare chords and Wolff trying not to laugh at the situation. I know this guy isn't a bad actor: he wasn't that bad in The Fault in Our Stars, and I thought he fit the role fairly well. It's just that in this bad movie, he comes off less like a young man in awe of the power in his hands and more like a male model trying not to shart himself.
Anyway, Ryuk formally introduces himself and proceeds to further explain the rules of the Death Note. Even disregarding the difference in their relationship and how the rules are handled, I still submit that Willem Dafoe seems to be one of the few people making an effort in this movie, even if he does come off less like the curious spirit treating humanity like toys and more like a dickish online gamer.
(Laughs) Sorry, it's just that every time that there's interaction between Light and Ryuk in this movie, there are almost always scare chords and Wolff trying not to laugh at the situation. I know this guy isn't a bad actor: he wasn't that bad in The Fault in Our Stars, and I thought he fit the role fairly well. It's just that in this bad movie, he comes off less like a young man in awe of the power in his hands and more like a male model trying not to shart himself.
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| One of these things is not like the other... |
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| One of these things just doesn't belong.... |
Anyway, Ryuk formally introduces himself and proceeds to further explain the rules of the Death Note. Even disregarding the difference in their relationship and how the rules are handled, I still submit that Willem Dafoe seems to be one of the few people making an effort in this movie, even if he does come off less like the curious spirit treating humanity like toys and more like a dickish online gamer.
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| Can we move this along, Aeropostale? There's a shiny Noctowl in the area and I'd rather not let it slip through my CGI fingers! |
So, after their exchange, Light's second victim is the crooked pharmaceuticals executive who killed his mother! The explanation is less like the detail from the source material and more like a glorified excerpt from Death Note Wiki. I do like the way Ryuk jokes about the "shark attack on the toilet," and I think that might be workable into a potential Sharknado sequel if it hasn't been already.
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| Well, still better food than Golden Corral. |
Even though the film parrots the rules of the note left and right, it's doubly hilarious that Ryuk emphasizes that the "death must be physically possible" when the "Teflon Criminal," whose real name was Anthony Skomal, by the way somehow stabbed himself in the neck with a steak knife. I mean, it's one thing when there's a criminal taking hostages later on; where he has a standoff with the police at gunpoint, but a corrupt corporate executive being a victim of his own lifestyle while mugging about killing a law officer's wife and beating the rap? Yeah, I daresay you had that coming; eerily suspicious dinner be damned. Seriously, it's amazing that both Light, his father and the scumbag criminal were all having steak dinners at that moment. I mean, I love a good cut of prime rib as much as the next guy, but this has to be the most gratuitous use of that dish since Suicide Squad; and I actually like that movie!
The next morning, the death of Skomal is found out; I just have to love how woefully inept this film is at trying to hide the note. Where the original went to great lengths to make sure it was hidden and no one knew about it unless they had to, this one just has Light casually rearrange his books when his father comes to wake him up. Jeez, I've seen teenagers go to more lengths to hide their copies of Swank or their digital files of filthy Star Wars fan fiction!
Still, when this information is repeated; it's a further side effect of condensing the bulk of the source material into a single film. We're not goldfish, guys: we would tend not to forget a corrupt corporate suit skewering himself like that! It's not as dumbed-down as the live-action Ghost in the Shell was, but it's a very close second.
As we pass the 20-minute mark, it's quite clear that this film is a hot mess of a thriller that feels like a mix of the source material's cliff notes, the overblown drama of a campy after school special and the unintentional hilarity of a SyFy originals movie. At least Dafoe is somewhat fun as Ryuk, and even though the movie only cost about $40-$50 million to make, the CGI actually isn't that bad. He is somewhat more sadistic than he is in the original, but that's the least of this film's problems.
The next morning, the death of Skomal is found out; I just have to love how woefully inept this film is at trying to hide the note. Where the original went to great lengths to make sure it was hidden and no one knew about it unless they had to, this one just has Light casually rearrange his books when his father comes to wake him up. Jeez, I've seen teenagers go to more lengths to hide their copies of Swank or their digital files of filthy Star Wars fan fiction!
Still, when this information is repeated; it's a further side effect of condensing the bulk of the source material into a single film. We're not goldfish, guys: we would tend not to forget a corrupt corporate suit skewering himself like that! It's not as dumbed-down as the live-action Ghost in the Shell was, but it's a very close second.
As we pass the 20-minute mark, it's quite clear that this film is a hot mess of a thriller that feels like a mix of the source material's cliff notes, the overblown drama of a campy after school special and the unintentional hilarity of a SyFy originals movie. At least Dafoe is somewhat fun as Ryuk, and even though the movie only cost about $40-$50 million to make, the CGI actually isn't that bad. He is somewhat more sadistic than he is in the original, but that's the least of this film's problems.
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| Let's put a smile on that face! |
Now comes the part where I must address this movie's counterpart to Misa, Mia. It's not the name or the casting that this film mishandles with her: it's the writing. It's one thing when you go from a yandere goth idol to a snarky cheerleader: the character lacks a lot of the malice and glee from being Light's distaff counterpart, and her own shinigami companion, Rem is nowhere to be seen. The romantic subplot between them doesn't work either, since the two have absolutely no chemistry between them. Could this be any less cliché?
I mean, even as someone who didn't hate Misa as much as many other fans; I am very disappointed. Again, the actress they've chosen; Margaret Qualley is trying, but like most of the cast (barring Dafoe and another member I will get to), there's just not a lot she can do if the writing isn't there.
For the record, even with that unpleasantness on Twitter a while ago; this film actually isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong: it's still bad, but I don't share the more extreme vitriol many had toward the director's vision. Still, as I enter the the next stretch of the film, it's clear to me that this adaptation makes so many changes that it rivals Eragon in how many things would have to be changed for the planned sequel; short of throwing up their hands and just deciding to reboot the series. Voltron Legendary Defenders: it is not.
I must also note that their relationship has been fundamentally changed: while Light basically wants to jump Mia's bones and wants to use the note to impress her, the two were definitely not your typical Hollister models with pretty faces and perfect teeth. Even with many people in the fandom not liking Misa, it was definitely a case of mad love between them. Again, a snarky cheerleader isn't quite the same as a yandere goth idol.
Also, while I know many people have a problem with Light being far less cunning and clever than he is in the source material; I am going to take that a step further: EVERYONE in this movie seems far less perceptive than in the original, and the internal logic that was a big part of the source material has been cast aside in favor of what amounts to a bad episode of CSI, as I pointed out before.
Case in point, we get a whole cartoonish gag about Light being the only one who can see Ryuk. Look, I know Ryuk is somewhat condescending, but he's not the Great Gazoo. This scene is so unintentionally goofy that it feels like that viral video spoof around the time this movie started streaming.
Yet, the silliness of this setup doesn't end there; since we're about to reach the next victim in this movie. We have now arrived at the infamous scene with the livestream of a hostage situation, which now as another layer of discomfort given the incident in Nevada earlier this month. Still, the scene once again portrays this version of Light less as a cunning mastermind and more like some off-color sentiments during a PewDePie livestream. For the record, I don't watch him, but I agree that even with his persona, those statements weren't entirely kosher.
Now, we get the "death montage" which not only changes how Light took up the alias of "Kira," but also is a less threatening version of the baptism scene in "The Godfather" and the "Order 66" scene in "Revenge of the Sith." There are few ways to make anyone from criminals and despots dying less threatening than to intercut them with 1980s synth-pop and a teen romance with less chemistry than the contents of my kitchen.
It also shows how the film truly could have been an insightful look at the challenges the world is facing, and worked that into an entertaining story in the process. Instead, it's one of the biggest disappointments in film of the year so far. Not as much as Ghost in the Shell, but a very close second.
Seriously, this is the film's version of the "New World" sequence; and these two look less like they're igniting a revolution, and more like they're having a marathon of "Fuller House." Christmas, even Edward Cullen and Bella Swan knew the consequences of their relationship; and so did Anakin and Padmé!
The montage ends in a nightclub in Japan, where we get the introduction of L, played in this film by Lakeith Stanfeld. There's also a brief cameo from Masi Oka from "Heroes," who also co-produced this film for some reason.
Honestly, including this element doesn't really make much sense when the audience has already seen the character in this film; so the mystery is marred by L appearing in a nightclub investigation dressed like a Jedi cosplayer. I will have to see if I can find the live-action Japanese dramas after I finish riffing this. I know the TV version is on Crunchyroll, hopefully the movies won't be too hard to find either.
This also extends to the scene of L in the hotel room, where the scene of him on the other end has also been somewhat neutered by seeing him prior to this scene. In all fairness, I can tell the actor is at least trying; since he seems to at least be making an effort. I know Stanfeld isn't a bad actor either: I haven't seen Get Out yet, but I heard he was fantastic and one of the best parts of the film. Again, it's the ultimate irony that the actor that people were worried about the most is arguably one of the best parts of the film.
Still, I have to wonder exactly what the rationale behind all this was. Rather than the intricate ways that criminals were dealt with in the original source, Light and Mia just end up looking at cases on this strange blend of 4Chan and those sites where you can find criminal mugshots. It's not quite as bad as Goku wanting to bed Chi-Chi (when it was the other way around in the source), but it's a very close second.
Back at the police station, we then see Light's father meet L; and this scene definitely further highlights how compressing all the source material into a single film was a bad idea. Not only does it lack the sense of awe the department had during the meeting in the original, there was plenty of buildup to this moment that helped the viewer take in the story over several episodes and chapters. Here, it's done in just under 40 minutes to a feature-length film. Yet, it does lead to an amusing scene where Light's father discovers that Watari has some junk in the trunk. Again, this definitely wasn't intentional on Wingard's part; and it brings to mind some of those stuffy old songs about the buttocks.
To be frank, there's not a whole lot to the rest of the meeting. Since we're going over the Brode case again at the 40-minute mark, it just shows how threadbare the script is; and how it treats the viewer like a goldfish. That's something that casual audiences and fans of the original definitely don't like. Seeing the events unfold over the anime and manga as a slow burn was far more entertaining than this slog.
Honestly, I really don't think Stanfeld is a bad actor at all. In fact, he's arguably one of the people that seems to be making the most effort in the film. The problems with the movie are not with him: they're with the script and direction. This scene here with L addressing the press feels like it could be a genuinely dramatic scene, but it's marred significantly by cramming multiple anime episodes and manga chapters into this sequence; and with an hour still left to go. I know I'm repeating this a lot, but the film is kind of structured that way; and the people involved didn't seem to understand or care about that.
I must also note that their relationship has been fundamentally changed: while Light basically wants to jump Mia's bones and wants to use the note to impress her, the two were definitely not your typical Hollister models with pretty faces and perfect teeth. Even with many people in the fandom not liking Misa, it was definitely a case of mad love between them. Again, a snarky cheerleader isn't quite the same as a yandere goth idol.
Also, while I know many people have a problem with Light being far less cunning and clever than he is in the source material; I am going to take that a step further: EVERYONE in this movie seems far less perceptive than in the original, and the internal logic that was a big part of the source material has been cast aside in favor of what amounts to a bad episode of CSI, as I pointed out before.
Case in point, we get a whole cartoonish gag about Light being the only one who can see Ryuk. Look, I know Ryuk is somewhat condescending, but he's not the Great Gazoo. This scene is so unintentionally goofy that it feels like that viral video spoof around the time this movie started streaming.
Yet, the silliness of this setup doesn't end there; since we're about to reach the next victim in this movie. We have now arrived at the infamous scene with the livestream of a hostage situation, which now as another layer of discomfort given the incident in Nevada earlier this month. Still, the scene once again portrays this version of Light less as a cunning mastermind and more like some off-color sentiments during a PewDePie livestream. For the record, I don't watch him, but I agree that even with his persona, those statements weren't entirely kosher.
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| These low-res models in the Gamestop ads suck! |
Ryuk then says to Light, "Hope you know what you're doing." Clearly something that was never said on the set of this slog.
Neglecting how laughable the setting of a Japanese market is, the gunman, James Brode (pronounced "Brody") is essentially "swatted" when he gets hit by the police van. The only way this could be more unintentionally hilarious is if he was shouting "Oh Long Johnson" over and over.
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| Wasted |
Now, these two leads start their dark path as if they were in A Clockwork Orange, rather than a goofy mockbuster of a much better fictional universe. After I finish riffing this, hopefully I can find the Japanese dramas somewhere.
Also, Light asking Mia for a kiss is less like the Joker and Harley Quinn; and more like the scene in The Room where Denny asked Lisa for one. |
| Nat: Uh, Adam, I think we can do another take. Margaret: Yeah, not sure I was on my mark. Adam: No, keep rolling, trust me, this shot will look great! |
Now, we get the "death montage" which not only changes how Light took up the alias of "Kira," but also is a less threatening version of the baptism scene in "The Godfather" and the "Order 66" scene in "Revenge of the Sith." There are few ways to make anyone from criminals and despots dying less threatening than to intercut them with 1980s synth-pop and a teen romance with less chemistry than the contents of my kitchen.
It also shows how the film truly could have been an insightful look at the challenges the world is facing, and worked that into an entertaining story in the process. Instead, it's one of the biggest disappointments in film of the year so far. Not as much as Ghost in the Shell, but a very close second.
Seriously, this is the film's version of the "New World" sequence; and these two look less like they're igniting a revolution, and more like they're having a marathon of "Fuller House." Christmas, even Edward Cullen and Bella Swan knew the consequences of their relationship; and so did Anakin and Padmé!
The montage ends in a nightclub in Japan, where we get the introduction of L, played in this film by Lakeith Stanfeld. There's also a brief cameo from Masi Oka from "Heroes," who also co-produced this film for some reason.
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| Lakeith Stanfeld describes this movie in one sentence. |
I am seeing a similar case to Michael B. Jordan in the 2015 Fantastic Four movie: ironically, the actor people were most worried about actually was one of the ones that was making the most effort in the film. I can tell he's definitely trying the hardest out of all of them to capture his counterpart's characterization, but there's just not much he can do if the writing isn't there.
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| Wow, I though the screentest for a young Mace Windu would be cooler than this! |
His assistant Watari, played by Paul Nakeuchi, has a similar case of this, as shown when he sings L "Optimistic Voices" from The Wizard of Oz so he will sleep through the plane trip to Seattle. I guess using "Hushaby Mountain" from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang was too obvious.
Honestly, I can tell that Stanfeld is at least trying to get the inflections of his namesake right; the bits of him eating massive amounts of candy and dressing like a bum; but the film doesn't really have the right atmosphere to let the characters develop, and the internal logic suffers overall because of that. I express a similar sentiment that my associate, Chris "CSAndreas" Sanders does about the movie, and you can see his thoughts on the matter here.
The next day, Light's father goes to the police precinct, and discovers the phrase "Eat Shit" written on one of the boards containing info on the Kira investigation. Once again, I chuckle and wonder how anyone took this production seriously.
Even more, the chief doesn't even bat an eye at this, and just makes a call on his phone; not even wondering if the graffiti was connected to the case. Definitely way less competent than Sochiro. Wonder if he'll even think twice about that Meowth and the hoodlums with the red "Rs" on their shirts stealing Pokémon.
Now, we get to the scene where the chief meets L and Watari. The sense of mystery, intrigue and surprise from the source material is totally absent in favor of what's basically a Death Note wiki plot summary in lieu of a script. "Watari and L meet with the chief of police to discuss the investigation of Kira."
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| Crude sight gag, or actual note left for Wingard that made the final cut-you make the call. |
Even more, the chief doesn't even bat an eye at this, and just makes a call on his phone; not even wondering if the graffiti was connected to the case. Definitely way less competent than Sochiro. Wonder if he'll even think twice about that Meowth and the hoodlums with the red "Rs" on their shirts stealing Pokémon.
Now, we get to the scene where the chief meets L and Watari. The sense of mystery, intrigue and surprise from the source material is totally absent in favor of what's basically a Death Note wiki plot summary in lieu of a script. "Watari and L meet with the chief of police to discuss the investigation of Kira."
Also, the scene with L being met via discount Skype doesn't really make any sense in the context in this film, given how we just saw his face on the way to the States. On that note, if you cut most of the other extraneous material from the source, why leave that in? If that's the kind of thing you'd do, why not just keep Stanfeld offscreen and not show him in full until he gets to Seattle? This is what I mean about how the film mostly does away with the source material's internal logic to the degree of making narrative cohesion itself more foreign than the original script.
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| This Microsoft Surface sucks! |
Honestly, including this element doesn't really make much sense when the audience has already seen the character in this film; so the mystery is marred by L appearing in a nightclub investigation dressed like a Jedi cosplayer. I will have to see if I can find the live-action Japanese dramas after I finish riffing this. I know the TV version is on Crunchyroll, hopefully the movies won't be too hard to find either.
This also extends to the scene of L in the hotel room, where the scene of him on the other end has also been somewhat neutered by seeing him prior to this scene. In all fairness, I can tell the actor is at least trying; since he seems to at least be making an effort. I know Stanfeld isn't a bad actor either: I haven't seen Get Out yet, but I heard he was fantastic and one of the best parts of the film. Again, it's the ultimate irony that the actor that people were worried about the most is arguably one of the best parts of the film.
Still, I have to wonder exactly what the rationale behind all this was. Rather than the intricate ways that criminals were dealt with in the original source, Light and Mia just end up looking at cases on this strange blend of 4Chan and those sites where you can find criminal mugshots. It's not quite as bad as Goku wanting to bed Chi-Chi (when it was the other way around in the source), but it's a very close second.
Back at the police station, we then see Light's father meet L; and this scene definitely further highlights how compressing all the source material into a single film was a bad idea. Not only does it lack the sense of awe the department had during the meeting in the original, there was plenty of buildup to this moment that helped the viewer take in the story over several episodes and chapters. Here, it's done in just under 40 minutes to a feature-length film. Yet, it does lead to an amusing scene where Light's father discovers that Watari has some junk in the trunk. Again, this definitely wasn't intentional on Wingard's part; and it brings to mind some of those stuffy old songs about the buttocks.
To be frank, there's not a whole lot to the rest of the meeting. Since we're going over the Brode case again at the 40-minute mark, it just shows how threadbare the script is; and how it treats the viewer like a goldfish. That's something that casual audiences and fans of the original definitely don't like. Seeing the events unfold over the anime and manga as a slow burn was far more entertaining than this slog.
Honestly, I really don't think Stanfeld is a bad actor at all. In fact, he's arguably one of the people that seems to be making the most effort in the film. The problems with the movie are not with him: they're with the script and direction. This scene here with L addressing the press feels like it could be a genuinely dramatic scene, but it's marred significantly by cramming multiple anime episodes and manga chapters into this sequence; and with an hour still left to go. I know I'm repeating this a lot, but the film is kind of structured that way; and the people involved didn't seem to understand or care about that.
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| Lakeith: Uh, Adam, this seems a bit rushed. I can do more takes. Adam: No, keep rolling, trust me, people will love this! |
As Light and Mia watch the press conference on TV, I notice Light's room has all the clichés of a teenager's set design: bizarre toys, poetry books, alt-rock posters, being strewn with assorted DVDs and video games. All that's missing are the erotic magazines to hide the note, but that would imply there was actual effort on the part of the writers and prop master. Again, I've taken an interest in interior design lately; but I'm not sure how this would score with the Happy Room Academy.
Furthermore, compressing the adaptation to this shortened runtime ends up undercutting one of the most interesting parts of the original: the cat-and-mouse games between L and Light were some of the most engaging parts to me about the source. Their dynamic was comparable to the likes of Holmes and Moriarty in my eyes. Here, there's not much time for their characters to explore the concepts they're taking part in; and as a result, it leaves less of an impact.
On that note, I can totally understand how people feel about the two of them being made dumber than they were in the source. However, I still submit that EVERYONE takes a hit in terms of intelligence here; since how Light and his father deal with the Kira case suffers as a result. There were constant reminders of how dire the situation was in the source, and how it directly impacted their respective character arcs. Here, however, it just feels like Red and Eric Forman bickering with each other before the scene suddenly ends.
Yeah, the pacing in this movie is just terrible. Some parts feel glacial, others just cut from Light on the street to his father and L fighting about having Light tailed; no questions asked. However, I did get another unintentional chuckle out of how nonchalant the delivery is. Dude, you don't act like someone just deleted your DVR contents; your son is being tracked as a potential suspect in a murder case! I think you'd probably be reading this line with more enthusiasm than reading the menu at Subway!
After that, there's another scene with Light and Mia in a boardwalk amusement park; which is less like a pair of criminal masterminds and more like a couple somewhere in between Paper Towns and Johnny and Lisa in The Room.
The symbolism with Ryuk and the apples is also totally glossed over from the original. I mean, they're literally handed something that would have worked regardless of the country of origin or setting, but I guess that's not as important as trying to build a relationship between a couple waifs that have less chemistry than the contents of my kitchen.
Seriously, people linked to the Kira investigation are now being given heart attacks and I feel more bored than the original Ryuk. Do you understand what this means? I'm someone that considers the word "bored" derogatory, so when people involved in a criminal investigation just drop dead and I feel like falling asleep; you know something's gone wrong. Since the film compresses all the source material like this, there's no time for the audience to breathe and ruminate on the ideas presented. It's not as bad as how the new Ghost in the Shell handled things, but it's a close second.
We then get to death montage #2 in the film, which culminates in a bunch of people jumping off a building. Real smooth, Adam. Real smooth.
After that, there's another scene with Light and Mia in a boardwalk amusement park; which is less like a pair of criminal masterminds and more like a couple somewhere in between Paper Towns and Johnny and Lisa in The Room.
The symbolism with Ryuk and the apples is also totally glossed over from the original. I mean, they're literally handed something that would have worked regardless of the country of origin or setting, but I guess that's not as important as trying to build a relationship between a couple waifs that have less chemistry than the contents of my kitchen.
Seriously, people linked to the Kira investigation are now being given heart attacks and I feel more bored than the original Ryuk. Do you understand what this means? I'm someone that considers the word "bored" derogatory, so when people involved in a criminal investigation just drop dead and I feel like falling asleep; you know something's gone wrong. Since the film compresses all the source material like this, there's no time for the audience to breathe and ruminate on the ideas presented. It's not as bad as how the new Ghost in the Shell handled things, but it's a close second.
We then get to death montage #2 in the film, which culminates in a bunch of people jumping off a building. Real smooth, Adam. Real smooth.
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| Well, somebody saw The Happening. |
Between Light fighting with Ryuk and Mia watching some weird horror movie, I honestly understand why Viz just decided to cut their losses and make this a Netflix movie; since it's obvious it would have flopped hard in theaters.
Even Light's father and L getting closer in the Kira investigation seems more like it's happening because the plot needs it to rather than a natural criminal investigation. Honestly, this movie has a more incoherent narrative than Suicide Squad; and I type that as someone who liked that movie!
We've reached the halfway point of this movie, and as Light and Mia debate whether or not to kill Light's father; it became truly clear on my first viewing of this movie that the internal logic that made this plot thread work so well in the source was gone in favor of more YA clichés than Divergent.
Now, we reach the infamous scene in the coffeehouse; where this film's versions of Light and L meet. The effect of this shot, and the ensuing exchange between them reminds me of some crazy lady I saw at the coffee parlor at Circus Circus the other day; who apparently didn't know how to read the menu.
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| Want anything? Latte? Chai tea? Ritalin? |
Once again, Ryuk is just waiting out there like a troll; and it's hilarious. This may be one of the worst scenes in the movie, but it has the two best actors in the same scene.
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| He's a peeping tom! |
I know many people got angry about L pulling his hood off in front of Light; but that's frankly the least of my problems with this scene. It's a bigger problem for me with the writing and acting, where the two different halves of the same coin from the original have been reduced to a certain infamous scene in Mitchell that ended up breaking Tom Servo.
The next plot point involves using the note to mess with Watari's head, tricking him into dropping his guard? One question: why? I guess this is a substitute for the Raye Penber subplot from the original, but like much of the movie; there's not a lot of logic behind it.
This also extends to burning a page from the note, which would cause the names written inside to have their deaths undone. Again, it made sense in the original; but because everything is so rushed here, it comes out of nowhere at the 1-hour mark. It does lead to another unintentionally silly reaction from Ryuk, and I'm once again getting Green Goblin flashbacks from this.
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| The HEART, Osborne! First, we attack his heart! |
Yet, all this somehow convinces Watari to spill the beans! So, you take one of the few people played by a Japanese actor in the movie and give him the same level of competence as Chief Wiggum, as opposed to how he was portrayed in the original. Real smooth.
Watari then runs off for reasons that I will get into in a moment (trust me, it's awful); and L then bursts in on Light and his father having dinner with Mia! I'm probably not supposed to be laughing this hard, but it reminds me of Uncle Phil from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air rather than a cunning detective.
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| I'm gonna tie this place up in so much litigation, your GRANDCHILDREN are gonna need lawyers! |
L then asks Light's father "what is it that you want?" That's the first legitimate question in this movie, and one I've been asking ever since I started writing this riff.
As he continues haranguing everyone in the room, I still submit Stanfeld is probably one of the few people in the movie making an effort. Also, the film version of L may be different from the source; but he and I are on the same page at least.
Yet, even though L ordered Light's house to be searched, he still didn't find the note. (sighs) Thank goodness we're almost at the finale, because things are going to get even dumber from here on.
It's of course time for the school dance as well! Just once, I'd like to see a couple just sit this out and just go see a movie.
Also, following an earlier scene, Watari is able to make it from Seattle to Montauk; which is apparently just barely doable in 44 hours, slightly under the 48-hour time limit that his condition lasts! That already sounds asinine, but trust me when I say it gets even more ludicrous.
As Light is given a formal outfit by Mia, Watari breaks into an old mansion which is heavily implied to be where he found L, and... I'm honestly giving up trying to pretend I care anymore with this one, fellas. Just so you know, my riffing is going to get less involved as I keep going towards the end.
So, they go to the Winter Wonderland dance; and in an unintentionally amusing sequence, their photographs involve one of flipping off the cameraman.
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| Accurate depiction of Death Note fans watching this movie. |
Again, like with Ghost in the Shell; I'm not entirely sure they were acting: I think Nat and Margaret were getting genuinely annoyed with the production and it made the final cut.
As L and Watari continue their respective investigations, apparently one of the many '80s pop tunes playing is Berlin's "Take My Breath Away." I guess Spandau Ballet's "True" or A-ha's "Take on Me" would have been too obvious.
Light then realizes something is amiss, and before he can find out what's going on; Watari is killed! I guess if there's no bridge around, you have to make due with what you've got.
The last half-hour of the movie is upon us, and as Ryuk reveals his true intentions; all I'm really weirded out by is the absurd amount of Dutch angles in this movie. Did the cinematographer take notes from Battlefield Earth?
As L and Watari continue their respective investigations, apparently one of the many '80s pop tunes playing is Berlin's "Take My Breath Away." I guess Spandau Ballet's "True" or A-ha's "Take on Me" would have been too obvious.
Light then realizes something is amiss, and before he can find out what's going on; Watari is killed! I guess if there's no bridge around, you have to make due with what you've got.
The last half-hour of the movie is upon us, and as Ryuk reveals his true intentions; all I'm really weirded out by is the absurd amount of Dutch angles in this movie. Did the cinematographer take notes from Battlefield Earth?
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| Misery, misery, misery! That's what you've chosen. |
Seriously, if they were going to make Ryuk more villainous than his counterpart; it would have been nice to develop it more, but instead it's just dumped on your lap with 30 minutes left.
Also, the falling action further illustrates the problems with the changes made to the story and characters. Not just for the page being taken from the note (again, it made sense in the original), but for Mia somehow orchestrating the deaths of the federal agents. With the internal logic from the source gone, this plot thread leads to the climax being absolute nonsense; though it's at least not as bad as trying to cover up the Major's true nature and then saying she really was Motoko Kusanagi. Yes, I am still bitter about that, and no; I am not going to let Sanders and Paul forget that.
Condensing the plot like this also makes it so L setting up hidden cameras gets less attention than the source. I highly doubt they're making that sequel like they want (we'll talk in a moment); but that would mean they would have to make even more changes or just reboot it. I can only imagine what they would do to Near or Mello, given how poor the characterization and writing are here.
So, as Light discovers his name is written in the note (yet again, it made sense in the original), L gets ready to make his move! As the two clash in an alley, again; this comes off less like a pair of brilliant masterminds and more like two hoods playing a game of Grand Theft Auto Online.
I mean, I totally understand why people are unhappy with Light being made less crafty than in the original source. However, I personally submit that EVERYONE is dumber than they were in the source material, which is really compounded by this finale. I did get another chuckle out of this bit where L crashes a police car through a traffic safety bus stop PSA. Ironic sight gags, ha!
(laughs) How could anyone have filmed this and taken it seriously? The way Light and L argue in the alley before Light runs into a ferris wheel with Mia seems less like a Death Note movie and more like an old episode of Scooby-Doo!
He then shoots the controls of the ride (because amusement parks always keep their ride controls where anyone can use and mess with them), and asks Mia to run away with him! (laughs) You're seriously doing this? I know this is a bad movie rife with clichés, but this is just precious that they think we care about this!
After a shouting match between the two, we discover that Mia's name was written in the note, just as the ferris wheel starts coming apart like in a Final Destination movie!
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| Oh dear, OSHA is going to be livid. |
Really, the way this scene is handled is giving me flashbacks to The Amazing Spider-Man 2 in terms of how contrived the whole setup is; not helped by "I Don't Want to Live Without Your Love" playing in the background. Kind of undercuts the whole drama of the moment.
So, Mia apparently falls to her death onto a flower cart. I guess a fridge would have been too on the nose.
As Light and the note fall into the water, the page is burnt inside a flaming barrel. Again, this was way more elaborate in the source; and I honestly don't care if he fell in the water; it would be the same as landing on the boardwalk no matter how good a swimmer someone is.
So, with one final death montage, we close on Light in the hospital; his father giving him his mother's obituary, and Ryuk popping in one last time like a troll.
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| From then on, Ryuk visited him nightly until he was driven mad! |
As I wrap this up, I will be very blunt with my final thoughts. This movie is obviously not a good adaptation of the source material, with the casting honestly being the least of my problems with it. The plot made absolutely no sense with the changes to the original story, the characterization ranges from inconsistent to non-existent, and handling the film in this manner made the very concept of narrative cohesion alien to the film.
As a movie on its own merit, it suffers there too. Even though Willem Dafoe and Lakeith Stanfeld do put in some decent performances, the acting ranges from dull to over-the-top. The editing and cinematography are very choppy (oddly, in the latter case, it was done by experienced cameraman David Tattersall, who I know can do better), and the use of 1980s synthpop isn't really conducive to the film's atmosphere. Some of the kills are kind of creative and the visuals are often decent; but it still pales in comparison to the original. It may not be as bad as Dragon Ball Evolution for me, but it's one of the most disappointing films of the year so far.
I strongly encourage those who have not experienced the anime or manga to do so, and I will look into the Japanese dramas as soon as I can. As I post this, I am on vacation in Nevada, and I wish everyone a happy Halloween. Bang.
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