Review- "We're No Angels" (Pokémon Chronicles)

Hey everyone- I hope you all enjoyed the portion of "Pokémon Chronicles" that could fit in the franchise and still be passable, if uneven. Here's where things start going off the rails: let's open up "We're No Angels" and talk about it.

Essentially, the main plot of this episode is Team Rocket being mistaken for the superhero group "Team Righteous," which is honestly less plausible than a con artist passing themselves off as a doctor, lawyer and pilot. Especially since the inciting incident has them wrecking a giant robot by simply falling on it like Dorothy Gale's house fell on the Wicked Witch of the East. Sweet mother of Arceus, what have I gotten myself into?

What's worse, they actually try to tell the villagers they've got the wrong people; but they won't have it, especially not someone named Kate. If they start talking about Connor Murphy, I'm out.

I also note that once again, the animation looks noticeably worse and more off-model than a comparable episode of the TV series. Some lines and scenes imply this episode takes place between "You Never Can Taillow" and "In the Knicker of Time" chronologically, and we'll come back to this later.

Of course, Team Rocket doesn't exactly make the situation much easier when they wreck another robot; with their attempt at villainy being mistaken for heroism. Not even the robot being armed with watering cans and farm implements can break the facade, though I at least won't accuse anyone here of being an "immoral pleasure seeker" (miss you, Alex).

That night, they're given dinner and a show; which briefly details their supposed exploits, all while making Prince of Space look like Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness. You can see the eyeholes in the Meowth costume here, which indicates the town needs a good psychiatric health center more than they need Team Righteous.

Yet, despite the village being just below a place you'd see the Mystery Machine search for Miner 49er; they decide to play along with the charade for now. (sighs) You know, this may not be as bad as "Training Daze," but it's still not exactly what I would have had in mind if I were asked what I would want from a spinoff.

Even more, Team Rocket wants to make the town their new base of operations; as the rubes can't tell an old filmstrip from a newsreel. Typical- somehow, I don't even think Musk would buy this place. They start by retooling the robots they broke into one of their own. Basically, the same logic as people minting NFTs.

As James wonders what it would be like to be a real hero like Kate believes, I once again wonder what might happen with Generation IX; and if Journeys might retire their characters. It's something I'm contemplating for another post later this year.

Anyway, they approach the mansion on top of the hill; and they're greeted by another robot at the front door. It's modeled after the Jet Scrander from Mazinger Z, an anime I'd rather be watching right now.

Instead of another weapon, the robot literally rolls out the welcome wagon with smaller robots bearing flower bouquets. Excuse me for a moment while I go hit myself over the head with my Switch case.

Technical difficulties- Please Stand By

OK, now that I've gotten that nonsense out of my head; Team Rocket starts attacking the mecha after crushing the bouquets; and some unfitting fight music as well. Chill out guys- you're not making Terminator here.

They follow the robot inside, where we're introduced to Professor Brown. He's a reclusive inventor who wanted to build robotic aids for the town... without telling them their purpose or leaving his lab. Basically, he's a less entertaining version of Clemont or Sophocles, both of whom I prefer. He also comes off like a less confident version of Dr. Slump, Dr. Light or Dr. Ochanomizu from Astro Boy. I mean, the episode claims he's shy; but that doesn't really justify things at all. He could have easily have marketed his inventions, even playing into the townies' tenuous grip on reality by casting himself as a PT Barnum type.

Heck, even Team Rocket; self-admitted Pokémon Tech washouts are able to figure out what this Professor can't, by simply asking the Professor to be more involved in giving the town his robots! Even just writing a note on one or giving them invitations to his place would be sufficient. This also begs a lot of questions about how Brown survived for this long. Even writing this during the second year of a worldwide pandemic, I know a guy's gotta eat (and I keep in contact with the mail carriers, delivery drivers and other essential workers).

However, their plan involves getting him into the charade; rather than simply having him talk to the townsfolk he sought to help. ... Let me get my Switch case again.

Before that can happen (and after a few more good swings from my case), the village is invaded by a flock of Taillow, though one of the farmers mistakenly calls them "Taillows" more than once. There's no "s," they're already plural: it would be like calling MacGuire, Garfield and Holland "Spider-Mans."

Brown finally decides to take control of his own fate, attaching a jetpack to the mecha to drive off the Taillow and activating a hidden device in his pen. I reiterate how bad it is he didn't think to open with this; as he's clearly become like the Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark of this village.

Naturally, Professor Brown is recognized for his work; and agrees to help build up the town with his inventions. Team Rocket then leaves the village, with James briefly considering reformation before they're sent blasting off by an accidental press of the launch button. Also, this ties into what I said last time about blowing up the "alternative to the main series" narrative, but we have a full-on cameo from the main cast closing us out this time! To think people got up in arms about the battle with Wallace in Journeys.

"We're No Angels" is certainly no holy roller of a story; more of a deludedly dire and devilish dirge. I didn't even show you half the off-model animation in this episode (seriously, were all the good animators occupied with the main series?); but the story is the true fatal flaw of this episode. As I've stated before, there isn't much point dedicating spinoff space to what would barely pass for filler in the main series. Likewise, your tolerance of this episode is likely going to be tied to your tolerance of Team Rocket in this era. As someone who's been open to replacing them with the antagonists of each generation of games, seeing them deep into their "villain decay" stage doesn't really do it for me. Granted, I'm not too thrilled with how the villagers or Professor Brown came off either; as it would be like making a Digimon reboot where the memorable characters that people still love to this day are replaced with counterparts that have the personality of boiled celery. ... We'll talk another time, since I waited for the whole series to come online.

Post-review follow-up: most annoying characters of the episode go to Team Rocket for attempting to con the village into thinking they're a superhero team when they wouldn't even pass a "Morbius sweep." Dishonorable mention also goes to the villagers collectively for believing this con, and Professor Brown in particular gets the "Reed Richards is Useless" mark for not openly offering his robots for legitimate work first. 

The next Chronicles review will be on "Showdown at the Oak Corral," the last non-Christmas episode that I found somewhat decent; if flawed as a story. That will be all for now, and I will see you soon for my full review of Pokémon Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl. 

PS: Go see Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness, it was a way better story than this mess.