Recap: Invasion of the Vestals

Hello again. I originally intended to write and post this recap much sooner, but

I have been under the weather lately. So, here I am, ready for the next recap. Last year,

I covered several episodes of the anime Bakugan. Boy, was that a bad series. Clichéd

stories, crappy animation; and cookie-cutter characters. That anime was one of the key

factors in starting this blog, and I had watched every episode to determine which ones

I could work with.

So as you can imagine, it provided plenty of material. I decided to cut my look at

the original series short, in order to look at its sequel series. We're starting Bakugan New

Vestroia, and this one is even worse. It takes virtually every complaint about the original

series and amplifies it tenfold. As we did with the original series, we're starting with

the very first episode. So let's open up “Invasion of the Vestals.”

We open on a recap of the end of the original series, with the Bakugan returning home

and Drago becoming the core of New Vestroia. Get ready, folks. It's going to be a long one.

It turns out they have the same theme song. Seriously? They couldn't even get a new

theme song, or at least a remix of it? I'd be more accepting of this if the theme song was good;

but it's not! Even worse, now I won't be able to get it out of my head! I will try, though. Maybe

this will help.

Three years have passed since the events of the original series. It seems it has been

peaceful on New Vestroia; but it has come to an end.

Then we see a spaceship that could not be more obvious CGI. Seriously. It's almost

as bad as a hubcap on a string. The ship lands, much to the dismay of the Bakugan. It unleashes

a wave that converts the Bakugan into a handy ball form. Another ship starts taking them

aboard.

Anyway, we see our villains, and- (pfft) (Laughs)- Wow. Those outfits look even more

ridiculous than Masquerade's getup! They're making Square Enix costume designs look

practical!

We cut back to Earth, and we see Dan walking the streets; not having much to do without Bakugan.

Suddenly, a wave of rainbow-colored energy surrounds him. Everything starts slowing

down.

Huh. Well this is weird. I should probably cut down on the drugs.

We then get our title card, and the design has not gotten much more elaborate. A few

colors changed, and a few effects were added; but that's it.

 

We then cut to Spectra fighting Baron; another one of the new characters. Baron has

a ludicrously high-pitched voice; and Spectra appears to be wearing his best Gatchaman villain

outfit. Spectra unleashes his Bakugan, Helios. It seriously says something when the monsters

are more sensibly-designed than the humans.

Helios then tears through his opponent's shield to attack. Then, Tigrerra, a Bakugan

from the first season tells Baron not to give up. Clearly I need to readjust to how crazy

this anime is. Tigrerra is then summoned into battle. 

Then, Helios speaks. You know, he actually seemed kind of cool before he started talking. Now he just sounds stupid. The animation is still very bad, with stiff movement and

washed-out colors. It feels like they're trying to hit every cliché of bad anime people can think

of.

(Laughs) I'm sorry! I can't even take what Spectra is saying seriously! That mask is

even more silly-looking than Masquerade's Elton John glasses!

So, Tigrerra is defeated, and it cuts to a picture of her and Runo breaking. Just how many clichés are we going to go through in this episode?

 

We cut to the core of New Vestroia, where Drago consults the six legendary warriors

for help. So: invasion by an enemy force, rebel movement, and consultation of a higher power.

It is absolutely mind-boggling how many ideas taken from other works there are. We're only

six minutes in, folks.

You think your son is safe?! I WILL FIND HIM!

 

The warriors grant Drago the power to become a Bakugan again and help New Vestroia;

but he will be back to the way he was before. He is then sent to join up with Dan again.

We cut to Prince Hydron, who is asking Spectra about the sudden thunderstorm.

He may be a very flamboyant villain, but at least he's less blatant about it than his minions.

 

We cut to Dan and Runo arguing about why Shun isn't returning Dan's phone calls at all.

It's little more than a glorified shipping scene. All it needs is some music to pair it with.

Then, it turns out Marucho and Julie are in the bushes spying on them. Isn't this part of

the stalker's handbook?

A portal opens, and Drago returns. Of course. Couldn't let their cash cow out of the action; could they? Naturally, Dan is so happy that he starts dancing. No, really. We're nine

minutes in. We're not getting that back.

Drago says how it's great to see them again, but mentions he came for Dan's help; as

most of the other Bakugan have been captured. It's going to be one of those episodes, isn't it?

Dan agrees to help Drago; but Drago cannot let Runo, Julie, and Marucho go. Marucho sneaks

in, but leaves Runo and Julie. Hey! Are you seriously telling me you're not going to let the female characters participate? This is total Smurfette bullcrap, man!

 

Back on New Vestroia, we see a woman named Mira and her partner named Ace saying

they're picking up new Bakugan on their scanner. The woman's outfit is every bit as kooky as

the others we've seen, with one leg of her pantsuit short and the other long. Who designed these

characters?

Anyway, Ace finds out Dan and Marucho, and says they won't last long out there.

Another thing: the voice acting is very inconsistent. It's a mess of dull performances and

overly-hammy ones; with practically none that are merely competent in between.

Drago then tells Dan of how the Vestals arrived. There's a little new footage, but most

of it is a flashback to the first half of the episode. That's not a good sign when we're flashing

back to what just happened 12 minutes ago. Drago tells of how all the Bakugan were captured.

Did they ever read this out loud? They could not have written this with a straight face. I know

I'm not.

We then get two more of the villains: Volt and Link. They look like they're ready for

an impromptu performance of Shakespeare in the Park.

Dost mother know you weareth her drapes?

It seems Volt's default expression is “scowl”, as he tells Dan to go home to his toys.

Says the person who's part of a movement to capture as many of these things as he can.

They exchange dialogue that's as stilted as can be. And people say George Lucas writes

clunky dialogue. 

Sure enough, Mira comes up on a motorcycle and gives Dan a Gauntlet. Only $29.95!

Some assembly required! Batteries not included! Mira is the leader of the resistance. She explains about the Vexos; the top brawlers of the Vestals. This is getting more trite with each

passing minute. So, at 15 minutes in, we finally get a battle.

I love the Power Glove. It's so bad.

The monster designs have not gotten any better. We have a huge beetle and a crazed

baboon on the field. Dan takes them out in moments. Well, that was pointless.

Dan asks how Drago likes being back in the saddle. Drago says it's great. I'm glad

you're enjoying this; even if I'm not. Here's something to help me cope. 

Mira explains how the life gauges work. I don't care, there's only 4 minutes left. Mira

summons her Bakugan; and Volt and Link summon their next ones. The battle scenes are even

worse than the ones in the original series. They are that bad.

We're just falling further and further into stagnation. There's more and more banter that's

badly-written.

Dan gives Mira a hand; and things just keep getting worse. This is giving “A Double

Dilemma” a run for its money in terms of utter wretchedness. Of course, they win. So begins

another season of Bakugan. We'll be covering more of this, but not right away. I need time to

detox.

“Invasion of the Vestals” is an even worse start to a season of Bakugan than “Bakugan:

The Battle Begins” was. With every cliché piling up on bad animation, writing, and voice acting; it is remarkable of what I just witnessed. Anyway, The Wolverine is coming out on

Friday, and as I promised; I will do a recap of the first episode of the Wolverine anime to mark

the occasion. I am also in the process of finishing Binbogami Ga, as well as watching plenty

of One Piece and Claymore. After Wolverine, all of August will be the dreaded Endless 8 of

Haruhi Suzumiya. I can definitely say that September will be something to detox from that;

but you will have to wait to see what I have planned. See you later!