Recap: Aipom and Circumstance

Hello again. Pokémon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire have arrived; the highly-anticipated remakes of Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire. Once again, I am investing quite a bit of time in Hoenn; as I did when I was 11.

While I have recapped a few bad episodes of the AG saga (textbook example: A Double Dilemma); I thought I’d do something different and recap one I liked; one that I saw when I got back into the franchise as a teenager. So, let’s open up “Aipom and Circumstance!”

We open on everyone having lunch, including a then-early look at the Diamond and Pearl games, Munchlax.

Munchlax! (Translation: I'm hypoglycemic! Sue me!)

We then see the eponymous Aipom in a crown of flowers. While in the Japanese version, this is where we learn Aipom is female; while in English, we don’t find that out till “Steamboat Willies,” which I may recap next year (as I had things I wanted to do this year, but life got in the way).

Aipom, less than pleased with Ash’s affection for Pikachu (which comes and goes as a plot point); decides to take Ash’s hat as if she were displeased with IGN’s review of OR/AS.

Too much water? We'll see about that!

Everyone else points out that Aipom is good at making a fool of Ash. So is Kotaku.

We then get the Battle Frontier theme, which is an OK song; but it’s to be expected for the first Pokémon Company theme. They did get better as they went, with the current high being the XY series’ version of the Pokémon theme.

Next is our title animation, with Pikachu flipping Ash’s hat onto his head in a group shot with the others. 

The man in me will do nearly any task, and as for compensation, there is little he would ask!

They chase Aipom to a large structure where they come across another trainer named Hank. Immediately, I’m reminded of that viral video with another Hank this one brings to mind. 

I sell propane and propane accessories!

Ash introduces himself, as does Brock. They wonder what’s going on as everyone trains.

The ceremony is to pick that year’s king, who is essentially a glorified village chief to make decisions for everyone. This is a large reason why I decided to do this; because of how insane this idea is in and out of universe.

This is no basis for a system of government!

Naturally, Brock’s first desire is to use is power to get ladies. Typical.

Of course, Team Rocket seeks the crown for Giovanni; meaning he will rule over the village. That’s how they do it: if they hold onto the crown by nightfall, they will become king. 

I am very busy, as I imagine you are!

They detail what his day might be like via one of the over-the-top-staples of AG, the boss fantasy; yet more ways that Giovanni makes me feel inadequate about my own masculinity. 

Lay in bed LIKE A BOSS!

Wash his face LIKE A BOSS!

Play a game LIKE A BOSS!

Drink a brandy LIKE A BOSS!

So, to the victors go the spoils.

Big money! Big prizes! I love it!

They try to snatch it, but to their dismay, they grab Ash’s hat instead.

What the fuck is this?

Ash recovers it quite nonchalantly. Now, I must address the Donphan in the room: the voice acting. I am among the many who was dismayed with the voice cast change; but the Pokémon Company cast grew on me after a while. It’s worth noting that Veronica, Rachel, Eric and the others also had to grow into their voices before they loosened up. So, while they did get better with each passing season; for now, it’s one of the biggest cases of dull surprise I’ve dealt with.

Obviously, you've never played Yu-Gi-Oh.

Aipom has the crown, and actually pulls down her eyelid and sticks out her tongue at everyone.

The fanbase's reaction to IGN's average review of OR/AS.

She even puts on the crown, as it turns out anyone or anything can take part. It’s that kind of episode; just go with it.

He must be a king. "Why?"

Hank then takes out his Nosepass to navigate with via some conspicuous CGI.

Provided by OLM's Wii.

Pikachu and Aipom are headed for the bluffs; where everyone reunites with Ash. 

Then, it turns out the crown is stuck on Aipom!

Get some butter!

Even though it means staying around the village for a year, Ash will not leave Aipom behind; citing she’s part of their family. I agree with that, and the bond they share is genuine.

She's one of us! No one gets left behind!

Team Rocket wants the crown still, and their latest plan involves a Nintendo controller of some sort.

Now you're playing with power!

Also, Jessie standing in front of CGI roses just seems funny to me.

I know you like to think that review don't stink, but lean in little bit closer, see, roses really smell like poopoo!

It involves a horde of robotic Fearow out to grab the crown.

Buzzsaw, transform!

They send them after Ash and the others; with an attack pattern that reminds me of Birdemic.

Where's my coat hanger?

Meowth tells them to “save it for another show.” Yeah! I’d expect this from Yokai Watch, not a classy show like this!

Even so, Ash trying to sound concerned is hampered by Sarah Natochenny stretching the “Acting” part of “voice acting.” She got better later, but the bulk of the actors were initially chosen for their ability to replicate their seniors than for ability. 

I'M TRAPPED IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION!

Ash then sends out Swellow, who does a good job initially trying to fend off the

robotic Fearow.

And in the air! Jr. Birdman! Missed me!

Aipom uses Double Team to throw off the horde even further.

Fun as a barrel full of me!

Still, they just keep coming; those tin turkeys! Ash and Pikachu get into a game of tug-of-war with one of them!

Gimme my friend, you rude crude bag of pre-chewed food!

Hank then decides to use his Nosepass to throw off the Fearow!

Eat my dust, birdbrain!

As Meowth tries to jigger the controls; he is dismayed that it’s “not like watching reruns.”

You try surfing through your Netflix queue with 3 fingers sometime!

Even so, they’re sent blasting off once again! 

Everyone tries to get the crown off by nightfall, to no avail. 

This is a bigger disappointment than The Amazing Spider-Man 2!

Hank offers one more solution to Aipom: a Belu Berry to eat.

It's 100% Organic!

Sure enough, it tastes so awful that Aipom’s thrashing shakes off the crown into Hank’s hands! 

I am the mac daddy of the Kanto region!

With this, Hank is declared king to Ash and Pikachu’s satisfaction!

“Aipom and Circumstance” is a fun little entry into the Advanced Generation. While it does have some iffy voice acting, the plot is delightfully silly rather than ingratiatingly stupid like in “A Double Dilemma.” The animation, save for the dodgy CGI is also good for its time. With this, it’s probably going to be the last recap for a while. I do have a couple things I want to do for Christmas that I wanted to last year; and one thing that I plan to close out 2014 with. You’ll just have to wait and see what it is. See you, space cowboy!

Recap: Electric Soldier Porygon

You are interested in the forbidden and the mysterious. The unknown compels you to find out more. Shall we dive into the realm that is Electric Soldier Porygon?

Yes, folks, the time has come to finally close out the original trilogy of banned Pokémon episodes and look at this one. Everyone has made fun of it: The Simpsons, South Park, Drawn Together- it singlehandedly brought awareness of the anime, and by extension; the series to the Western World.

So, let’s take a look.

We once again, open on the Japanese theme, “Aim to Be a Pokémon Master.”

Then, it seems as everyone has reached Matcha City; and Pikachu is tired. Ash, or rather, Satoshi, if we’re going by his Japanese name in the subs; then decides to take him to the Pokémon Center.

Nurse Joy is overrun with calls about the Pokémon transfer system going awry; much to the dismay of its designer, Professor Akihabara; no doubt named for the Japanese electronics and gaming mecca. 

Brock, or Takeshi, insinuates that it’s a computer virus; which confuses Ash. Misty, or Kasumi; then clarifies further. A vaccine is proposed; but is overruled by Akihabara, despite the fact that many Pokémon are not reaching their destination, and even more are being swapped for others!

Looks like my Finder on Yosemite.

Everyone goes to his house, and they are greeted by a strange hologram representation of Akihabara. Akihabara explains that a group of hoodlums is messing with his system; and everyone quickly deduces that Team Rocket, or “The Rocket Gang” did it.  Oh, those humorous subs!

Akihabara then decides to send them into the digital world with Porygon. As for the obvious comparison: save it. Besides, for anachronistic references, I got more of a vibe of The Matrix.

So, he sends them in. You better fasten your seatbelt, Dorothy, cause Kansas is going bye-bye!

Porygon guides them in; and Team Rocket has apparently blocked off the Poké Balls with a giant stop sign! Jessie and James, or Musashi and Kojiro begin saying their motto; before Meowth, or Nyarth cuts them off. As they see the gang come to tell them off, they send out Arbok and Weezing, or Matadogasu. 

Porygon, however; has plenty of power to deal with the Pokémon. It turns out Team Rocket has Porygon-Zero. As they clash; Ash, Misty, Brock; and Pikachu begin taking down the barriers that they set up.

Just then, Akihabara finds out that the Pokémon center is attempting to use a vaccine program; which is bad news for everyone that’s still inside. 

Akihabara warns everyone, just as vaccines the size of rockets are fired and we get the first instance of the reason why this will never be airing stateside or anywhere else in the world. A red and blue flashing reason.

Yes folks, these flashing lights as the vaccines are fired are the culprit of the hospitalization of almost 700 people; many of them the target audience of children. More than any one Pokémon; it is the flashes of red and blue at least 24 times per second; according the Pokémon Inspection Report. As a result; it’s the reason why the bulk of the series before and after had to be reanimated to reduce similar usages.

I should also point out that, once again, this is not an issue unique to anime. Epilepsy is still quite a common problem; to the point where a person is more likely to have it than they are to win the lottery jackpot. It’s why most video games have these health warnings when you press start; and why similar edits had to be made to, among other series; Dragon Ball Z and the 2003 version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Even so, everyone has to get out of there, no easy task when the vaccine turns into an X-Wing. Ash even has Bulbasaur, or Fushigidane; rescue Team Rocket, since the vaccine considers humans and viruses the same thing. It unleashes one final attack; and Pikachu stops it with one of his own, so much everyone explodes out of the computer world in a manner worthy of the Wachowskis at their finest. I really hope Jupiter Ascending can capture the same feelings I had when I first saw The Matrix.

You have no idea how long it took me to take this screencap.

Team Rocket grudgingly thanks everyone for their help; and Akihabara laments the loss of the human transfer system. Ash suggests he make it safer. Try to fix that seizure problem!

The Pokémon transfer system is working again; and Ash has Pikachu healed.

While I may have been able to handle this episode fine; I can honestly say that its reputation precedes it; given how much the subtitled versions I’ve been able to find over the years have a disclaimer that you should very much heed. Do not watch this episode if you have a history of epilepsy. You’ll be able to get the gist of the plot on summaries from websites like Bulbapedia or Serebii. If you want to know other effects it had; let me put it this way: the anime went on hiatus in its native Japan for 4 months at minimum, with the Pokémon Inspection Report preceding its return; hence why fansubs often have those “watch far away in a brightly lit room” disclaimers. Moreover, the report had all sorts of letters from kids wanting it to come back. To this day, Porygon and his ilk have never had another appearance beyond a brief glimpse and ShoPro and the Pokémon Company have effectively disowned the episode.

Still, if you can handle it, it’s worth at least one viewing; and as I said, there have been copies of this episode circulating for at least the six years I’ve been on YouTube, and 3 I’ve been uploading on it.

As for both this series; and my own work: I’m not going to tell you how it’s going to end. I’m going to tell you how it’s going to begin. I’m going to post this and continue exploring a world without walls or borders. A world where mystical creatures and colorful characters share a bond that is as real to me as any live-action work. What you decide to do now is up to you. When you do: I’ll be watching.

Recap: The Ghost of the Old Castle

Hello again. Halloween has come and gone; and I decided I shall do something a bit different. I shall recap an episode of Sonic X. While I liked the series fine when I was younger, my appreciation of it has grown from both official and unofficial subtitled versions. No bizarre edits, no miscommunication about concepts from the games; and much less focus on Chris Thorndyke as opposed to the blue hedgehog whose name is in the title.

Regarding him: I have openly admitted my stance as a Sonic fan with a “try it before I buy it” mindset. I try to keep an open mind about experiments to the usual speed and platforming formula; as long as they work from a gameplay standpoint as well as a conceptual one. The most recent case of this is the upcoming Sonic Boom; which seems to have a team-based gameplay system similar to Sonic Heroes; and an animated series that has a sort of balance between the campy, over-the-top Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog and the grittier SatAM; but that’s beside the point. Right now, let’s open up “The Ghost of the Old Castle!”

We open on the Japanese theme, “Sonic Drive;” which employs one of the styles of music that I admire the franchise for: driving rock. I’m posting a link of it so you can hear.

Of course, we open proper on the eponymous old castle; which seems to be an unused set from a proposed remake of The Beast of Yucca Flats. 

Sonic, of course, is resting up for his next run. 

Drama bores me.

Of course, Chris is right by his side. The intention, as with Transformers Armada, was apparently to give an audience surrogate that kids could relate to; but let’s face it: I’ve always been the most eager to see the blue hedgehog. Besides, I’ve merely found Chris to be bland.

The family maid, who is not voiced by my good friend Mike Pollock; is playing an extra due to a lack of other candidates. I mean, it’s only a movie shoot! They’ve been doing those in these parts since Boris Karloff!

Also, the director looks kind of like Michael Bay. Yet, he’s depicted as favoring storytelling as well as spectacle! I guess the Japanese really do have him mixed up as my recap of “Lights, Camera, Destruction” suggested. Just as well, they were reportedly unprepared for his take on Transformers (apparently, sapient mecha are seen as childish in Japan; and their media reflect it, thus they were surprised by his gritty movie.). 

It seems Mrs. Thorndyke is shooting a movie at the castle. She’s no Natalie Portman. 

Then, she asks Chris about his friends.

Are they as bland as you?

She insinuates Tails is merely a special effect. It can’t be, it’s nowhere near as creepy as the Tails doll!

Chris winces at this; and asks where Cream and Cheese are.

Apparently, they got into the shot, and Bay’s assistant director says they can be erased digitally later. 

OK, but add in some product placement for the Xbox One!

Sonic ventures into the castle. That’s my boy!Not paying any heed to danger when there’s evil about! 


Apparently, this rune was speculated in both versions to be the cause of the problem. Can you guess what was cut for the states?

Aah! A symbol! Take it away!

The shoot continues through nightfall. Hopefully the Master isn’t around the place.

There is a scene with Mrs. Thorndyke guiding her way with candles; as if this were suddenly an old horror film. 

After the director decides to pick it up in the morning, Chris comes to see his mother. Even though these are the official subs (meaning Sega had to sign off on them); there are still many errors about.

Never predicate shall I put before subject.

That night, the sound tech decides to search through the castle.

Are you menstruating, by any chance?

Chris asks Tails about Sonic. I was wondering the same thing. Chris then ponders over the situation. He’s like that kid in Pod People. 

Or where Trumpy went!

Naturally, he’s outside; taking a run in the night sky.

Just stepping around, staying far way from Assassin's Creed and Call of Duty!

The sound tech then scans the wall for anything weird. Ghosts! That’s what it is! Ghosts!

The ghost then decides to spook Mrs. Thorndyke! 

Your mother plays Sonic 2006 in Hell!

Sonic finds the artifact, and notices the sun is on the other side.

Everyone starts calling for Lindsey!

Remember what your parole officer said!

The ghosts then start working a number 6 on the place; much to the dismay of Amy and Cream.

Well, that's the end of those shorts!

Sonic then arrives on the scene.

Who you gonna call?

Also, something that is somewhat amusing, as Sonic laments that his punches won’t harm the ghosts with a resounding “damn.”

I need that damn 4th Chaos Emerald!

Tails then gets sucked in! 

Wow, my shoes aren't helping!

Sonic, despite his best efforts, gets sucked in as well!

The search continues into the next day; as Chris and Amy find an old chamber downstairs!

Amy gets possessed by the ghosts, as the King, Boom Boo; starts showboating like Audrey II. 

Does this look inanimate to you, punk?!

Her face looks surprisingly freaky, both from the perspective of an 11-year-old and a 22-year-old. 

Free your mind! The rest will follow!

Chris of course, is overwhelmed and realizes he needs Sonic’s help!

The instructions to reverse the curse were edited out in the dub; thus bringing me to a new segment I call “Shit CEOs Say;” with the justification included in the caption.

"Kids today don't read, they actually read less."-Alfred R. Khan

As you can tell; this attitude, along with many other he held; is one of the key reasons why the company is bankrupt, with what’s left of it now a subsidiary of Saban Brands.

Sonic is freed, and prepares to take on King Boo.

If you're strong, you can fly, you can reach the other side of the rainbow!

Even so, King Boom Boo tries to eat everyone! Sonic just barely manages to get everyone out by daylight!

Blinded by the light!

Sonic then tells Chris and the others “don’t mind.” Gratuitous English is very funny!

Lindsey wonders if the whole thing was another movie shoot.

We end on the police being strangely receptive to the idea of ghosts, thanks to the officer’s grandfather telling him stories about them.

“The Ghost of the Old Castle” is an entertaining little entry in the Sonic X canon. The animation is quite nice, and the spooky setting is perfect to end my Halloween hangover (little Butterfinger crisps and pumpkin cheesecake go a long way). I apologize for the lateness of this recap, and I do have a surprise planned next. You’ll just have to wait and see what it is.