Recap: Oolong the Terrible

Hello again; and welcome to my pig phase of my Chinese Zodiac theme. I’ve been wanting to do this episode of Dragon Ball ever since I looked at the pilot. So, let’s open up “Oolong the Terrible!”

We open on Goku and Bulma searching for more of the Dragon Balls scattered across the land. They end up finding one by Nimbus and by motorcycle. I did want to recap the episodes prior to this; but like with InuYasha, it may have been too much for the PG13 level content I try to cap myself at (though I have been known to go hard R when a work draws particular ire with me).

We then get our title card laid out over the setting.

They come across a small village; as well as the home of the chief, Sherman Priest. When Goku tries to enter, he gets an ax on the head for his trouble! Being a 12-year-old superhero, however; the ax breaks and he’s left with little more than a goose egg.

His daughter, Pocawatha, tends his wounds as Goku rather candidly examines her hardware. For obvious reasons, Cartoon Network usually cut these parts out (my copies are uncut DVD rips).

We are then told the horrors of Oolong: it seems he is a shapeshifter that preys on the daughters of the village! He has already taken three of them for his own ends; and seeks to take Pocawatha as well! 

Play the best song in the world or I'll eat your soul!

It turns out one of the villagers has another Dragon Ball; and Bulma wants it as a reward. Though she’s reluctant; she does agree if they can defeat Oolong and save the children.

After Goku tests the woman; he’s disguised as Pocawatha, much to his chagrin. He’s going to use himself as bait to draw out Oolong at Bulma’s request. 

Oolong then shows up in a white suit; carrying a bouquet of flowers in hand. He’s so in love he crashes through the sign of the village! 

Avon calling!

As the plan is set in motion, Bulma wonders where Goku learned to act. I personally ask that same question of Justin Chatwin. 

Bemused at “Pocawatha’s” charm; Oolong then turns into a debonair man in a white coat. This attracts Bulma; and Oolong is all too happy at the prospect of a new girl.

Yet, everything goes awry when Goku has to use the bathroom. Nice. He quite literally and figuratively whizzed the plan down his leg.

Oolong, outraged at this deception (hypocrisy much?) turns into a bull to face Goku as Bulma wonders what happened to the man in the trench coat. They were going to ride off on a white Bronco together!

With the plan off, Goku then casts off his disguise and decides to fight Oolong. Oolong then decides to have a “monkey-boy burrito” of him. That’s racist.

Yet, when time runs out; here is the reason I decided to recap this episode. This little piggy is the real Oolong. What you see is what you get!

Then, we get a brief explanation of his powers and why he uses them the way he does.

Text-Meet Oolong!

It turns out he went to shapeshifting school in order to learn how to transform and score chicks. The only drawback is that he can only hold one given form for 5 minutes at the most. After that, back to normal. Man, I love a hobby where I get to type things like that.

His next step to engage Goku is to turn into this quasi-Mazinger robot; then dunk him in a bowl of soup and eat him as a dumpling. It was fall 2001; we needed to feel good about ourselves after certain events of that time. 

Despite some drawbacks (such as burning himself on the soup and getting hit with a kids’ slingshot); Oolong still wants to face Goku in combat! 

After I'm through with you, I'll take care of those bothersome Power Rangers!

To test his might; he sets up an array of bricks like some Mortal Kombat minigame (I had the Genesis version; which had the edge of being able to unlock the fatalities instead of “sweating” when you get hit on the Super Nintendo. The sequels later rectified this by being released unaltered.).

Goku then breaks the bricks with one finger; and Oolong realizes he’s outmatched.

He tries to get away, but he’s caught as his time runs out. 

He takes everyone to his hideout; where the girls are being held. If this was any more 80s, Seth MacFarlane would be creaming himself.

Oolong then just decides they can have their kids back. He was hoping for slaves; instead he got boarders.

As promised, we close on Bulma getting her Dragon Ball with two more to go! Even so, that’s a matter for another day.

“Oolong the Terrible” is far from the fact. It’s another episode that manages to capture the fun of Dragon Ball in a single package. No amount of James Wong’s whitewashed $100 million bomb can diminish Akira Toriyama’s beloved series. I can easily say I’d be willing to go see Resurrection of F if I can find a theater near me showing it after I see the Fantastic Four reboot (Battle of the Gods was amazing last year). With some nice animation for its time and a fanciful tone; it’s a perfect case of early Dragon Ball being fun as can be (each passing season got progressively darker; and Z plunged full force into it).

As for the rat phase in the cycle: I will have to find what I want to do for that theme. Again; it could be an episode on a rodent Pokémon (there’s only been a couple stinkers in XY so far with me; one of them is related to Dedenne, even though I like that Pokémon and the fact Bonnie has been established as an anti-Max for having it in her purse like a puppy alone) or something else. We’ll see.

Next time however is a real treat. Next time, in honor of its 15th anniversary of its release in US theaters: Pokémon the Movie 2000!