Recap: A Combination Battle

My second Bakugan recap is underway, and this one was a lot harder. This show

was incredibly bad, and I am baffled at how it became popular. So naturally, picking another

episode to recap was necessary.

After some deliberation, I chose “A Combination Battle.” This episode is proof that

making an episode revolve entirely around a battle is ingratiating. There is truly nothing

salvageable in this episode, making me glad and disappointed that I chose it to examine.

So, let's get started. We get the same intro about the enchanted cards and the monsters

and how Dan and his friends made a game out of it. Same old grungy theme song, same stock

block text and tech title card.

Unless it involves Backdoor Raw Thrills, I'm not interested.

We open on an amusement park. Dan and Runo are there, arguing over what they should

do next. I notice that Runo is dressed like she's going to go cheerleading-in Oregon.

Anyway, there is banter over whether or not they should ride the roller coaster or the

Ferris wheel next. Dan is in favor of the roller coaster, and Runo wants the Ferris wheel. Runo

claims she should choose, since she has ride tickets left and Dan bought corn dogs with his money. That was stupid. For what you pay for one corn dog at an amusement park, you could

go to the grocery store and buy an entire box of them.  

Rabbit season! Duck season! Rabbit season! Duck Season!
Rabbit season! Rabbit season! Duck season! Fire!

Drago (Dan's Pyrus Dragonoid Bakugan- I still can't believe I'm typing those words)

and Tigrera (Runo's Haos Tigeroid Bakugan- Seriously, what the heck?) talk about the

situation and comment that they may never understand human behavior.  

Their argument goes on for about a minute and a half before they notice a magic show taking place and decide to go watch it.

There are two magicians there, and they call Dan and Runo to the stage; where they

ask Dan to do a card trick for them.

So, you're saying if I pick a red suit, I'll win?

Dan chooses a card from the deck. Surprise surprise! It's a doom card. Since I skipped

few episodes for this recap, I'll explain: these are cards given to brawlers by Masquerade, who

is the villain for most of this season. These take away Bakugan upon losing and make it so

they do not come back. As for Masquerade himself? Long story. Let's just say I got backdraft

from watching this show and making fun of it the first time, as I was unfamiliar with it and

was just doing so to mock it.

The magicians are named Kenta and Kenji, who challenge Dan and Runo to a combination battle. I should point out that first they ripped of the better part of popular shows

in the Mons genre of anime, now it seems they ripped off the Katayanagi brothers from

Scott Pilgrim, a graphic novel series and film that I can't tell you how much I love. The volume

where they were featured was published before this episode's first American airing, so here's

some screencaps for you to gauge the similarities.

Anyway, Dan and Runo accept the battle. We get another slow-motion effect, but at

least it doesn't look as crappy this time, and they admittedly got better at doing this with time.

Kenta makes the first move, using what seems to be this episode's toy plug, a gauntlet

for throwing Bakugan. He summons what I can only describe as a Cannon Nipple Rocket

Ranger. It's actually called Robattalion, but I still like my name better.  

Besides the fact that Dan and Runo are still bitching at each other, they actually

forgot to put in the background in this screencap. I know this show typically uses a barrage

of swirling colors for battling, but come on. If you're going to give us an assault on our

eyeballs on par with Joel Schumacher's sets in Batman Forever, at least keep it consistent.

Dan counters with Griffon (Only $4.95! Run out to the toy store now!); but the

Red Battlezord is upon him and Griffon is sent to the doom dimension.

The twins start spouting a bunch of magic puns at around six minutes in. Is it any

wonder why people that aren't kids find this show a pain?

Kenji summons another mantis, but it is a Darkus monster; and apart from its attribute,

the only difference appears to be that it is black and purple instead of brown.

Runo summons a snake to try and take down the mantis, but it doesn't work and is sent

to the doom dimension. All throughout the battle, there is a lot of talk about the monsters

with the most Gs doing damage. I can't tell you about how the battle system works.

It confuses me a great deal.

So, we have Bruce Ironstaunch on the attack again. Load the stock footage of Dan

throwing his Bakugan around!

Dan's next Bakugan is a Pyrus monster named Saurus. I only know this because it

resembles a triceratops standing on its hind legs. Are you for real?

It has a powerup in Gs by eating fire or some crap like that. I don't know, they don't

explain it very well.

Kenji uses this centipede called Centinoid to take out Saurus. Ugh. We're just now halfway through and I already feel uneasy. I need a root beer.

We get our commercialized ad bumpers. One of Drago and Dan, and another of Tigrera

and Runo, whose pose was likely put in for all the dads watching this with their kids.

Runo summons her Saurus, this time in Haos. I really don't like using this terminology.

Kenta counters with a knight called Siege. I really hate putting a battle down to bullet points.

Siege readies his saber, and Drago counters with Boosted Dragon. Yeah, I think we

all know how Boosted Dragon turned out. So, Dan and Runo get their first hit on their opponents at 12 minutes in.

Kenji brings out a crappy Darkus demon, and Kenta brings out an eye nipple wing demon. Huh. The eye nipple wing demon sends out an attack called Backfire. I think the term

is controlled burn, but OK.

Runo brings out Tigrera. It just reminds me of the Tigerzord from season 2 of Mighty

Morphin Power Rangers, a show that I'd rather be watching right now.

By the way, you can't see this right now, but the Bakugan don't move their mouths

when they talk. This isn't some sort of artistic license, there is no reason why the monsters

shouldn't be able to move their mouths when they talk.

This episode certainly has a lot of padding in this battle. Through some convoluted talk,

a card is played that gives them the upper hand. The twins act surprised, but the plot holes

gave away their intentions.

They play a Machete ability (not the Machete I like) in a last ditch attempt to get ahead,

but Drago talks in a way I don't understand and Dan and Runo win. That was a ripoff.

Dan and Runo run off, and they start another argument. This time, Dan wants to go

on the Ferris wheel, and Runo wants to go on the roller coaster. What a trite way to end the

episode.

You're the winner! You're the winner! You're the winner!
Wait. Pronoun trouble. I'm the winner. Yep. I'm the winner, all right!
I'm the winner! I'm the winner!

A Combination Battle further proves the ineptitude of Bakugan. There is so little to

be gained from what is there. Never have I seen a show this bad. It no longer holds the title

of the worst anime I've seen (that honor goes to Code Geass R2), but it is still nigh intolerable.

The fact that it makes little attempt to hawk its cheesy wares does not help matters. Now, I shall start work on my anime movie recap.