Recap: Fight or Flight

Hello again. I apologize in advance for the lateness of this recap, as my visit with my

father had more for spending time with him. I do have the notes for this recap, so I will dispense with the pleasantries.

It's time for Bakugan again. This show is entering its fifth season, and it has aired 189

episodes throughout its first four seasons. The fact that it lasted longer than Invader Zim

means that I have very little hope for society.

I have nothing but respect for the game, a trading card game/trading figure game hybrid.

It is the anime that I consider to be an inhuman mess. I've recapped two episodes so far, and I

can assure you that it doesn't get any better. I will get to New Vestroia, which is the nadir of the

series as far as I'm concerned (I won't watch Mechtanium Surge unless these recaps garner enough justification to do so); but Gundalian Invaders is also quite the piece of shit.

So, which episode am I doing today? Well, I thought about it a while, so I think I'll do

“Fight or Flight.” This is an episode that not only proves how much of a shill this show can be, but also how little the TMS team working on this show knows about aviation.

This episode garners the TSA seal of disapproval. It is the worst representation of

an airport this side of The Terminal. So, let's fly like paper and get high like planes.  

The usual grungy theme song starts us off, along with our block text title card.

We open on an airport. The planes are going by very smoothly. We see two nerds,

Takashi and Mizuki, talking to each other. They also come across something they normally

wouldn't encounter-a woman!

The woman's name is Yu, and she is waiting for her brother. She says she's going to

the airport every day to wait for him. Is that even legal with the new TSA requirements?

We then get our villain, Masquerade. It took me three recaps to get to him, now I get to talk about him. Masquerade is quite possibly the most ludicrous villain in anime of its type.

A longcoat, purple pants, Super Saiyan Goku hair, and glasses that would make Elton John

say they were superfluous. I will tolerate this sort of thing to a fault, but I have no chance of

taking the villain seriously when he looks like he's about to start singing “Bennie and the Jets.”

We then cut to one of the areas of the airport, where Runo and Marucho are meeting

their friend Alice, one of the co-creators of the Bakugan game. She says that she took her

private plane from Moscow in order to get to wherever this show takes place.

Marucho's Bakugan, Preyas chimes in. How do I describe Preyas? Well, just imagine if

Jar-Jar Binks was somehow more annoying than he already was. I know that's hard to fathom,

but it fits.

Tigrera replies, and I find her slightly more tolerable than Preyas. Alice gives them some

battle simulations, which look more like dog tags or gum.

Now, at 9 minutes in, we finally get Dan in his entrance; who is lost in the airport.

He muses how that could have happened while Drago berates him for it; though depending

on its size and how busy it is in a given day, an airport is fairly easy to get lost in.

Here is where TMS' idiocy on this episode's art and design kicks in. Dan says that he

went to the bathroom, yet he is clearly coming out of a flight gate. Trust me on this. I live

in Oregon, home of the Portland International Airport, consistently one of America's busiest

airports. I used to make annual trips on a plane, so I've been there enough times to know

when the animators can't tell a bathroom from a flight gate.

Meanwhile, Runo, Marucho, and Alice spend a solid 4 minutes talking about tuna

dishes. This is one of those Quentin Tarantino-type discussions that is often used to

establish a comfortable atmosphere; whatever the subject matter of the work really is.

It is much like the discussion in the first episode of Lucky Star on how the girls eat different

kinds of pastries.

Alice brings up the evil doctor Michael, who is in cahoots with a Bakugan called Naga.

Still, Michael isn't a very good name for an evil doctor. Maybe they should try Victor or Karkoroff.

They point out how the situation doesn't make sense. Of course it doesn't make sense.

When has this show ever made sense? Alice then stares out into space for a moment.

Takashi and Mizuki confront them all. When did they start talking tough? Did they

get exposed to the Loc-Nar, or something?

We then get a shot with Runo, Marucho, and Alice's eyes. Who directed this? David

Lynch?

We cut back to Dan, who's still lost. He might as well try to find a Sbarro, this might

take a while.

Back with Runo, Marucho, and Alice, Takashi and Mizuki challenge them to a battle

so Yu can see her brother. How does that work exactly?

They agree, and the field is opened and everything goes into bullet time, again.

Quick! Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt just came out on DVD!

The battle begins with Marucho sending out an Aquus Robattalion, which is blue. Mizuki

counters with a Darkus Robattalion, which is black. Real creative, guys. You're not even trying.

Runo sends out a Haos (White) Saurus. What is the point? Takashi counters with the

Pyrus (Red) Serpenoid. Will you please stop shilling and tell a story? I need more diet cola

to get through this.

Once again, we have the problem of the battle dragging on far too long. So, why did

these two guys even have this battle?

It turns out they want Yu to see her brother, Makoto. No, not the one from Street Fighter III.They don't know where he lives. Didn't they think to Google him? So, they come to the airport every day to wait for him. That's really stupid. They definitely should have tried Googling him.

Yu and Makoto's parents got divorced, and Alice says it's really sad. No it's not. The

“kids caught in divorce” plot is old news. You want sad? Watch Elfen Lied, or Clannad, or

the Arlong Arc of One Piece.

Cloying as it is, Runo doesn't care, and she just shifts into bitch mode. She then summons Tigrera into battle.

White Ranger Tiger Power! White Ranger Tiger Power!

Falconeer is also summoned, then Marucho summons Preyas for his best Kamen

Rider impression.

Rider Kick!

Then, Yu makes a needlessly hammy speech about how they played the game for fun.

I'm serious. It's incredibly stock even for this show; and it's made worse by the horrendous voice acting.  

Runo is still acting insensitive, but the battle is called off. So, let's go get some Cinnabon

if we're in this airport.

Dan is just finding his way, stating that he once knew of a guy who got lost in an airport

for years.

Then, he directs Makoto to his sister and meets up with his friends; and the episode ends.

I already know which original series recap I want to do next, so it may take a bit to get to

New Vestroia, as I want to diversify and not just make this an anti-Bakugan blog.

"Fight or Flight” had a standard plot, the battles were sleep-inducing, and it just played

fast and loose with air transit practices that it could take a whole room of flight staff to

point out its flaws. I will do another episode recap later this summer, but first; there's an

episode I'd like to get off my chest.

Recap: The Sun, The Sea, and The Host Club.

Today's recap is on one of the more perplexing anime I've seen. It's only been out a few

years, but it's already being hailed as a classic. It is a parody of a genre of anime that is alien

to me. There are men who willingly admit to watching it, when it is clearly aimed at women.

I am talking about “Ouran High School Host Club.”

“Ouran” is largely a parody of the “shojo” genre, which is targeted at teenage and young

adult women in the same manner that “shonen” is target at teenage and young adult men.

In this particular case, it parodies the harem subgenre. It consists of Haruhi, a young woman

who has a quasi-masculine appearance to her being inducted into the Host Club, where attractive young men sell themselves as playthings to the female students. And yes, this is a

show with rich humor.

As you can very well tell, the shojo parody aspect was lost on me as I had never seen

any shojo prior to giving in to a friend's request to watch it. This can be chalked up to a number

of factors. First, there is the fact that the genre was largely irrelevant in the anime circles I put

myself into. It wasn't seen, it wasn't read, it wasn't talked about. “Sailor Moon” and “Cardcaptors” do not count for me, as their adaptations were so heavily-modified that I was not

aware they WERE shojo. While Shonen Jump Magazine continued to sell well on newsstands

every month until it went weekly and digital this past January; Shojo Beat was a commercial

failure in my area and ceased publication in 2008 for Oregon. Second, there's the massive cultural divide caused by the gap in social class. I live in a town known for festivals celebrating

mud and country music. In the latter case, I even have to constantly listen to heavy metal and rap to keep from going mad. We followed the Occupy Portland movement extensively. As you

can very well tell, the Host Club was a representation of the 1%; which caused problems in

trying to comprehend the jokes. Third, and most of all, the flamboyancy of the Host Club

was construed as blatant homosexuality. I am no homophobe, and I will try to keep the gay

jokes to a minimum in this recap. For the record, I will simply state that other animated works

I have seen were at least more restrained in their flamboyancy. He-Man was a muscular warrior

in a furry thong, SpongeBob tried to brighten everyone's day, and Tracks made sure we knew

about his “stunning automobile mode.”

As such, I did not initially enjoy the series. I dismissed the idea of any man enjoying it;

even going out of my way to disparage the show. My criticism of it proved controversial, as

there were dozens of fans tearing into me like rabid dogs for making fun of the show; and I had

to quickly issue an apology, but I was still reluctant to accept the show. Time passed, and the

anime grew on me, with help from Manitoug15's “Ouran The Vaguely Abridged Series”. Heck,

if shojo as a wholecontinues to remain obscure, this parody may be the best known example of it. 

So, why bother recapping an episode, then? Well, even as I grew more accepting of the show, there were still a handful of episodes that bothered me. We will get to them as I go along

with this blog, but first things first. Today, I will recap the episode that truly got on my bad side

as far as I'm concerned. To kick off summer vacation, I will recap “The Sun, The Sea, and The Host Club.”

As always, we start with the theme song. I had watched the show up to episode 20,

“The Door The Twins Opened” (which will not be recapped, as that is when the show got

really good); but I listened to the theme song for the first time as I watched the episode for this

recap. I'm not sure what to make of it, to be honest. As I explained, shojo is not my field.

I like the action-oriented stories of shonen. Whether it's martial artists, pirates, ninjas, Soul

Reapers, or masters of monsters, I like series that can get me pumped up while still getting me

to care about what's going on with the folks involved and setting up atmosphere and tone.

I have also taken a liking to the paranormal, and even the lowbrow in anime.

The best thing I can say about it, is that it was animated by Studio Bones, the same team

behind Soul Eater. I will mention Mamoru Miyano a lot in this blog, as Tamaki was not my

first exposure to him. He is fifth, behind Light Yagami, Dent, Death the Kid, and Masaomi Kida.

Apart from that, the tune is decent.

We open on the Host Club, as the twins, Hikaru and Kaoru are showing Haruhi possible

swimsuits to wear on their beach trip. Honey, who is a high school senior who resembles a little boy (don't look at me, I didn't draw him, I just watched him) suggests a one-piece suit, but the

twins veto it in favor of a frilly bikini. I disagree, sometimes a one-piece suit leaves a lot more

to the imagination. Honey then asks if his stuffed rabbit, Usa-chan, can come. Sure, why not?

I'm not one to judge, I have the biggest Pokémon collection of all my immediate friends.

We then get our title card out of a swarm of rose petals. I can only assume this is an homage to “The Rose of Versailles”, a drama that I've heard of, but just never seen. Given how

many tributes of it are thrown around in the anime I've seen, I can only conclude that observing

the real thing is not necessary.

We then cut to the beaches of Okinawa. I imagine that would be a lovely vacation spot

this time of year.

Haruhi muses why they brought some of the guest from the host club along. Kyoya drinks a Blue Hawaii as he takes notes on the situation. I need something a bit stronger-

artificially-sweetened Pepsi One should do it.

Tamaki has a romantic fantasy about walking on the beach with Haruhi. The notes I

took on this episode originally contained a tasteless joke, so instead, let the Beach Boys

sum up my feelings about this fantasy.

Honey asks Haruhi if she wants to go Hellfish Hunting. Does Abe Simpson need help

finding those paintings again? Haruhi corrects him, saying he wants to go Shellfish Hunting.

Amazingly, they are instantly swarmed with crabs. Succulent, tender, delicious crabs.

Well, looks like Haruhi has a bad case of crabs.
I apologize, that joke is beneath me.

They start gathering the crabs, and one of them has a centipede on it. Haruhi grabs it and

throws the centipede in the direction of one of the rocks. The twins then propose a game:

“See What Haruhi is Afraid Of.” Or as I like to call it, “Make Haruhi Glad She Wore Brown Shorts to the Beach.” Kyoya agrees, offering prints of middle school pictures of Haruhi as a prize.

They take her inside a cavern near the beach, where they try to scare her with paranormal means. Haruhi says she doesn't believe in ghosts. Well, I dumped my cousin's Teddy Ruxpin in

one of those caves, that will do it.

Honey then gets a group of Kyoya's mercenaries to lock them inside the cargo hold of

their truck, to see if she's claustrophobic. Haruhi says dark, enclosed areas don't bother her.

Mori, a sort of gentle giant among the Host Club; outright threatens her with a harpoon.

Haruhi doesn't even flinch.

Tamaki then starts gathering rat snakes, hoping that will scare her and that snakes are the most vile creatures on this planet. I disagree. I think snakes are awesome. The rat snakes would

even take care of our rodent problem.

Then, a couple of drunken punks come in and start harassing the other girls. Haruhi throws a bucket of sea urchins at one of the hoods, and he responds by directly confronting her.

I never graduated high school, buddy.
Doesn't look like you will, either.

Haruhi then gets thrown off the cliff and into the water, and she cannot swim. I don't know what the Japanese call it, but here we call that attempted murder. I stress “attempted”

as Tamaki saves her.

Tamaki then berates Haruhi for her actions, saying she had no martial arts knowledge like

the rest of them. It is here that I state why I chose this particular episode to recap. In Japan,

this scene was perceived as Tamaki looking out for Haruhi's well-being. In America, viewers

saw Tamaki's behavior as misogynistic.

I'm no feminist, but I do know this: If a girl struggles in water, teach her to swim. If she

gets beaten up, teach her to fight. If she disagrees with you, work it out, but for god's sake;

throw your misogyny in the garbage!

It gets better. Most of the comments on the YouTube copy of this episode took Haruhi's

side, not Tamaki's. I don't know if Japan ever had a sexual revolution like America did, but

Ms. Magazine would not approve of this situation.

The two decide that they will not speak to each other for the remainder of the trip. If this

is a divorce, do they get to divvy up what they own by half?

The crabs are cooked, and it is time for dinner. It would make a good Red Lobster commercial.

Haruhi comes in, and she looks mighty fine in the dress she wears to the dinner.

She quickly begins eating the crab, shelling them and tearing into the meat while Tamaki looks

on in horror. If you think this dinner is awkward, you should see the one in the next room.

Tamaki is still convinced Haruhi was wrong, though Haruhi admits she could use the martial arts training.

Haruhi doesn't feel well all of a sudden, and then we cut to a bathroom, with the implication that she got sick after eating too much of the crab.

Kyoya confronts her about her actions, and makes an advance on her. He tells Haruhi

the twins beat up those hoods, and he tries to embrace her.

Since my advertisers won't let me show this scene, here's
a picture of a puppy.

Tamaki arrives, and Haruhi goes to her room. Tamaki comes to see her, then a

storm brews with a large bolt of lightning catching Haruhi by surprise.

Pardon me, sempai, but I believe my panties have become
a bit damp.

She jumps into a wardrobe, as if she's going to retreat to Narnia. Tamaki comforts her.

It is here I realize I made a mistake by watching Death Note first, because all I'm thinking about

is him taking out his Death Note and killing those hoods for her. Ladies and gentlemen,

this has been a Funny Aneurysm Moment.

The other boys come in, and they mistakenly believe that Tamaki is playing a kinky game

with her. They continue to do so even as they leave. I believe Poison can say this better than I can.  

“The Sun, The Sea and The Host Club” is not a great episode, but it was completely

ruined by our sensibilities of gender equality as opposed to the Japanese desires of wanting

women to submit to men and wear pretty dresses. There will be other episodes of this show;

but that's a matter for another day.

My next recap will be done while I visit my father in California. I am taking my computer with me. I think I'll do another Bakugan recap. Now that I think about it, I'm

not quite ready to do New Vestroia yet, I have an episode of the original series that I've

been itching to do.

So, that is all for now.