Hello again. I apologize
in advance for the lateness of this recap, as my visit with my
father had more for
spending time with him. I do have the notes for this recap, so I will
dispense with the pleasantries.
It's time for Bakugan
again. This show is entering its fifth season, and it has aired 189
episodes throughout its
first four seasons. The fact that it lasted longer than Invader Zim
means that I have very
little hope for society.
I have nothing but respect
for the game, a trading card game/trading figure game hybrid.
It is the anime that I
consider to be an inhuman mess. I've recapped two episodes so far,
and I
can assure you that it
doesn't get any better. I will get to New Vestroia, which is the
nadir of the
series as far as I'm
concerned (I won't watch Mechtanium Surge unless these recaps garner
enough justification to do so); but Gundalian Invaders is also quite
the piece of shit.
So, which episode am I
doing today? Well, I thought about it a while, so I think I'll do
“Fight or Flight.” This
is an episode that not only proves how much of a shill this show can
be, but also how little the TMS team working on this show knows about aviation.
This episode garners the TSA
seal of disapproval. It is the worst representation of
an airport this side of The
Terminal. So, let's fly like paper and get high like planes.
The usual grungy theme song
starts us off, along with our block text title card.
We open on an airport. The
planes are going by very smoothly. We see two nerds,
Takashi and Mizuki, talking
to each other. They also come across something they normally
wouldn't encounter-a woman!
The woman's name is Yu, and
she is waiting for her brother. She says she's going to
the airport every day to
wait for him. Is that even legal with the new TSA requirements?
We then get our villain,
Masquerade. It took me three recaps to get to him, now I get to talk
about him. Masquerade is quite possibly the most ludicrous villain in
anime of its type.
A longcoat, purple pants,
Super Saiyan Goku hair, and glasses that would make Elton John
say they were superfluous.
I will tolerate this sort of thing to a fault, but I have no chance
of
taking the villain
seriously when he looks like he's about to start singing “Bennie
and the Jets.”
We then cut to one of the
areas of the airport, where Runo and Marucho are meeting
their friend Alice, one of
the co-creators of the Bakugan game. She says that she took her
private plane from Moscow
in order to get to wherever this show takes place.
Marucho's Bakugan, Preyas
chimes in. How do I describe Preyas? Well, just imagine if
Jar-Jar Binks was somehow
more annoying than he already was. I know that's hard to fathom,
but it fits.
Tigrera replies, and I
find her slightly more tolerable than Preyas. Alice gives them some
battle simulations, which
look more like dog tags or gum.
Now, at 9 minutes in, we
finally get Dan in his entrance; who is lost in the airport.
He muses how that could
have happened while Drago berates him for it; though depending
on its size and how busy it
is in a given day, an airport is fairly easy to get lost in.
Here is where TMS' idiocy
on this episode's art and design kicks in. Dan says that he
went to the bathroom, yet
he is clearly coming out of a flight gate. Trust me on this. I live
in Oregon, home of the
Portland International Airport, consistently one of America's busiest
airports. I used to make
annual trips on a plane, so I've been there enough times to know
when the animators can't
tell a bathroom from a flight gate.
Meanwhile, Runo, Marucho,
and Alice spend a solid 4 minutes talking about tuna
dishes. This is one of
those Quentin Tarantino-type discussions that is often used to
establish a comfortable
atmosphere; whatever the subject matter of the work really is.
It is much like the
discussion in the first episode of Lucky Star on how the girls eat
different
kinds of pastries.
Alice brings up the evil
doctor Michael, who is in cahoots with a Bakugan called Naga.
Still, Michael isn't a very
good name for an evil doctor. Maybe they should try Victor or
Karkoroff.
They point out how the
situation doesn't make sense. Of course it doesn't make sense.
When has this show ever
made sense? Alice then stares out into space for a moment.
Takashi and Mizuki confront
them all. When did they start talking tough? Did they
get exposed to the Loc-Nar,
or something?
We then get a shot with
Runo, Marucho, and Alice's eyes. Who directed this? David
Lynch?
We cut back to Dan, who's
still lost. He might as well try to find a Sbarro, this might
take a while.
Back with Runo, Marucho,
and Alice, Takashi and Mizuki challenge them to a battle
so Yu can see her brother.
How does that work exactly?
They agree, and the field
is opened and everything goes into bullet time, again.
 |
| Quick! Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt just came out on DVD! |
The battle begins with
Marucho sending out an Aquus Robattalion, which is blue. Mizuki
counters with a Darkus
Robattalion, which is black. Real creative, guys. You're not even
trying.
Runo sends out a Haos
(White) Saurus. What is the point? Takashi counters with the
Pyrus (Red) Serpenoid. Will
you please stop shilling and tell a story? I need more diet cola
to get through this.
Once again, we have the
problem of the battle dragging on far too long. So, why did
these two guys even have
this battle?
It turns out they want Yu
to see her brother, Makoto. No, not the one from Street Fighter III.They don't know where
he lives. Didn't they think to Google him? So, they come to the airport every day to
wait for him. That's really stupid. They definitely should have
tried Googling him.
Yu and Makoto's parents
got divorced, and Alice says it's really sad. No it's not. The
“kids caught in divorce”
plot is old news. You want sad? Watch Elfen Lied, or Clannad, or
the Arlong Arc of One
Piece.
Cloying as it is, Runo
doesn't care, and she just shifts into bitch mode. She then summons
Tigrera into battle.
 |
| White Ranger Tiger Power! White Ranger Tiger Power! |
Falconeer is also summoned, then Marucho summons Preyas for his best Kamen
Rider impression.
 |
| Rider Kick! |
I'm serious. It's incredibly
stock even for this show; and it's made worse by the horrendous voice acting.
Runo is still acting
insensitive, but the battle is called off. So, let's go get some
Cinnabon
if we're in this airport.
Dan is just finding his
way, stating that he once knew of a guy who got lost in an airport
for years.
Then, he directs Makoto to
his sister and meets up with his friends; and the episode ends.
I already know which
original series recap I want to do next, so it may take a bit to get
to
New Vestroia, as I want to
diversify and not just make this an anti-Bakugan blog.
"Fight or Flight” had a
standard plot, the battles were sleep-inducing, and it just played
fast and loose with air
transit practices that it could take a whole room of flight staff to
point out its flaws. I will
do another episode recap later this summer, but first; there's an
episode I'd like to get off
my chest.
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