Hello again. By the time you
read this, I will have most likely moved into my new
home. This recap will
probably be late as well, as my family and I have been working very
hard to get packed and
moved over these last few days. Nevertheless, it's time for the next
mecha recap.
For this one, I thought
I'd do it on one of the many anime adaptations of Transformers.
Transformers is a very
well-known franchise. A series about robots that turn into all sorts
of
vehicles that was based on
a toyline of the same name has endured for a very long time, with
hundreds of action figures,
many television series, and at least four movies (one animated one
from 1986, and three
live-action ones with a fourth planned for 2014).
It originally began when
Hasbro went to a toy fair in Japan in the early 1980s to look
at potential licenses to
secure. They found two transforming robot toylines from the company
Takara (which has since
merged with former rival Tomy): Microman, which consists of everyday
objects transforming to protect humanity, and Diaclone, which is a
line of piloted
mecha. The lines were
combined and the toys renamed to create the first iteration of
Transformers action figures; with an animated TV show being produced
in September 1984. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fOpPXk_7mw
The franchise has captured
the imagination of children and the young at heart for almost
30 years. Even so, as it
went on, the US and Japan had very different ideas about how to
portray
the franchise in media
(though the toys remain consistent, barring some paint redecorations
and modifications for
safety concerns). The US, as influenced by series such as Beast Wars
and Transformers Prime (the
latter being in its third season as of this writing); which examine
the conflict between the
Autobots and Decepticons at its core: essentially a robotic civil war
that outlasted the planet
it started on. Japan, however, believes that robots that aren't
piloted
are childish, and series
such as Transformers: Robots In Disguise and the Unicron Trilogy
(consisting of Transformers
Armada, Transformers Energon, and Transformers Cybertron);
tend to be filled with more
slapstick comedy and over-the-top action. Moreover, the
Japanese franchise holders
took it a step further and gave Beast Wars and Transformers Prime
gag dubs. Inversely, they
also attempted to turn the highly-stylized Transformers Animated into
a prequel for the
live-action movies. For frame of reference, Transformers Animated is
a relatively light-hearted take on the franchise (at least until
season 3); and the live-action films
are notorious for intense
violence, coarse language, sexual innuendo, and having some of
the biggest amounts of
product placement tied to a movie franchise.
While I admit there is
material in the Unicron Trilogy, that's a matter for another day.
Generally, I find Armada to
be all right, though I concede there is a lot to make fun of.
Energon is easily the worst
of the trilogy, which makes it a contender for the worst piece of
Transformers animation in
the entire franchise (barring the infamous Kiss Players, which I
will not be covering).
Cybertron is a bit better than Energon from what I've seen, though
there
is material for a recap or
two (I just need to see some full episodes to determine which ones
I can work with).
For this recap, however, I
decided to go back to 1987 to check out the very first
Transformers anime. You may
or may not be aware, but anime production company Toei (Dragon Ball,
Digimon, One Piece) animated a good chunk of the first two seasons of
The Transformers as well as
all of 1986's The Transformers: The Movie. Even though AKOM
took over for season 3 and
The Rebirth (a 3-episode season 4); this had the effect of giving
the show an anime-infused
animation style in terms of the action scenes, how the characters
moved and were shaded, and
the size and shape of the eyes on the human characters. However,
after season 3, the
Japanese canon of G1 ignored The Rebirth and began a new continuation
of G1. It began with
Transformers Headmasters, which would not be officially released in
America until nostalgic
media distributor Shout! Factory secured the DVD rights. Even so,
the rise of YouTube and
other video-sharing sides helped the subtitled and dubbed versions
reach fans. As you can
imagine, it's not very good; and I have a lot to say about it. So,
let's
open up “Four Warriors
Come Out of the Sky”, transform, and roll out!
We're starting off with
that awesome theme song, arranged by Vince Dicola, who composed the
soundtrack to The Transformers: The Movie. It follows the same blend
of heavy
metal and synthesizer sound
the movie did. I'm posting a link of it so you can hear it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGAxrksCTos&list=PLD2980AEA5850CF8F&index=27
We open on a narrator
explaining the history of Cybertron and the Transformers, set to
some stock footage of the
original show. Unfortunately, it looks like a bad quality VHS or how
Kid Rhino fouled-up the
footage for their DVD sets. Shout! Factory has the license now, and
while their sets have some
animation errors here and there, they do look OK. Then, it
transitions
to footage of The
Transformers: The Movie, which had not come out in Japan yet when
Headmasters was in
production.
We're getting our first
pieces of original footage now, and it's not too good. The narrator
mentions that Optimus Prime
put up a base on Athenia. The year is then far-off 2007. A strange
man named Michael Bay had
this crazy idea about Bumblebee urinating on John Turturro.
We are on a war-torn
Cybertron, with lights flickering and humming in a laboratory.
Galvatron enters the room,
and the voice does at least resemble Leonard Nimoy. During seasons
3 and 4 of the show, I
never thought Frank Welker's high-pitched Megatron voice fit for
Galvatron. Just as well, as depictions of Megatron and Galvatron in
more recent adaptations
are now more commonly
deep-voiced, starting with David Kaye's portrayal in Beast Wars,
yes.
He addresses his new
minions, and new toys. He tells them to attack the Autobots, and
the titular Headmasters
volunteer. The Headmasters and Terrorcons are off to fight the
Autobots.
We cut to the Autobot
capital city of Iacon. Spike and Carly Witwicky are having tea
when an earthquake rocks
the base. It's a meteor shower!
Kup and Wreck-Gar are
observing a monitor while Blur paces the floor. Sadly, the show's
voice actor for Blur is nowhere near as fast talking as John
Moschitta, though I admit
hiring the world's
fastest-talking actor would have been too expensive (this is part of
the reason
the Transformers Animated
version of the character was killed off after only a few episodes).
Wreck-Gar's voice is all
right, and I also admit that Eric Idle would have been too
expensive to hire. (During
Animated, they were willing to hire him, but Idle had a schedule
conflict and they settled
on parody musician Weird Al Yankovic.) So, as you can tell, the voice
acting and animation are
less than stellar.
Spike and Carly call
Athenia for help. The Autobot Headmasters/toys call in to help.
We cut to Athenia, where we
see Optimus Prime.
Hot Rod and Hound cut in
about the situation on Cybertron. While it's not the exact
actors, the voices for
Optimus, Hound, and Hot Rod are at least decent. Optimus receives
Spike and Carly's distress
call, and sends help. He tells Hot Rod to take command in his
absence, while Jazz looks
on.
boasts six unique alternate
modes.
Back on Cybertron, the
Autobots face off against the Decepticons, with the Dinobot
Grimlock being hypnotized
by a Predacon's wave.
Kup says they have to go.
Spike remarks about Vector Sigma while Carly looks on.
Once again, the voice
acting sounds like the water in the recording studio was full of
Valium.
This anime has even worse
voice acting than GI Joe Sigma Six. I know that's hard to imagine,
but it is possible.
Wreck-Gar enters the room,
and says one of Hot Rod's quips from the movie: “We
can't hold out forever,
Kup, but we can give them one humongous repair bill!” Sadly, the
awesome power of this line
is diminished. Not because of being said by Wreck-Gar (who
is one of my favorite
Autobots), but because the voice acting is so anemic. Just as well
that's not Eric Idle or
even the regulars from the show, but some people in Hungary who
have never heard of
Transformers. Seriously, some episodes refer to Blaster as “Billy”and
get the names of the other
robots wrong. The problem is, Hasbro actually bought the rights
to this dub, making it an
official unofficial dub.
Meanwhile, some Autobots are
fighting the Decepticons. Autobots that stick out at me
are Ultra Magnus and
Sideswipe. I do take the time to learn the Transformers' names,
unlike
the people who dubbed this
anime.
We then get our entrance
of Sixshot, a Decepticon city commander from the 1987-1988
wave of toys. Available now
at fine retailers everywhere! Sixshot shoots Ultra Magnus down.
Ultra Magnus returns fire,
and we get one of the many sound effects borrowed from the
Star Wars movies when he
fires his gun. Laser blasts and lightsaber sounds are the most
common, with clashes when something is shot and the Millennium
Falcon and TIE fighters in
flight being next. It was
the 1980s, it was simpler to get these then.
Now, (sighs), we get our
first glimpses of Daniel Witwicky and Wheelie. They are by
far some of the most
annoying characters in the Transformers multiverse not named Mudflap,
Skids, or Kicker Jones.
Daniel is a whiny kid, even more so than Spike was; and Wheelie tries
to be R2D2, but he comes
off more as Jar Jar Binks. Even so, he's slightly more tolerable than
the Wheelie in the live
action movies.
Anyway, they decide to
head off to get to the Railbots, despite Daniel's objections.
This is a running theme in
many post-movie Transformers G1 media: Daniel and Wheelie
tend to get into trouble by
going places they're not supposed to. What do you know, they run
into city robot/dinosaur
Trypticon. Another bit is that Wheelie speaks in rhyme, but the
Hungarian voice actors don't have the time!
They actually tricked
Trypticon into falling in a pit. This must be a new low for the
Decepticons. Yes, even
lower than giving Devastator wrecking ball testicles. I'm honestly
running out of things to
say about the voice acting. Not only is it shite, but most of the
time,
it doesn't even match the
lip flaps of the Japanese version! Vince Dicola's music cues still
enthrall, though.
We then get a battle that is
as boring as it is badly-animated. We're talking Rhino
“Heavy Metal War” and
“City of Steel” bad. We're talking Energon bad here. Ultra Magnus
and Sixshot are now
clashing face to face, eye to eye.
In come the Railbots.
Then, in comes the Autobot city, Metroplex, an Autobot who
is making a return for the
30th anniversary of the franchise next year. Wow, there
are a lot of
toys in this line.
Wheelie helps Daniel into
his exo-suit as they decide to hop the Railbots and head to
Cybertron.
 | ||||||
| When the night has come, and the land is dark, and the moon is the only light we see... |
Back on Cybertron, Optimus
Prime and Jazz are having a heck of a time trying to ward
off the Decepticons. This
is a scene I play in my mind and with my action figures all the time;
with Optimus and Jazz up
against the odds... I am such a nerd.
Hot Rod and Kup arrive on
Athenia, only to find that Optimus has gone to Cybertron.
You know, this whole thing
was played a lot better in the movie. We've essentially gone from
Beast Wars and Animated to
“BOT” and “The Girl Who Loved Powerglide” in terms of
writing. It's mentioned
that Optimus doesn't have the Matrix of Leadership, meaning he won't
be at full strength. Kup
and Hot Rod notice a strange glare in the sky.
After the battle,
Cybertron is ablaze. Daniel and Wheelie head to Iacon, despite
Wheelie's objections. Wheelie kicks a piece of debris, and it hits
something, with Daniel
presumably filling his
monogrammed tracksuit with fudge.
 |
| Zoinks! |
He's being chased by one of
the Predacons, a group of animal-based Decepticons who
who would later be the main
villains of Beast Wars; the first Transformers show I ever watched.
The Railbots hit the
Predacon, and Wheelie starts pounding it. One of the Railbots talks
to Daniel about what he
did, but Daniel wants to stay on Cybertron. It can't be worse than
when he was in that
firefight on Junk. I can say that I've surpassed my record of
Transformers:
The Movie references from
my recap Gray and the Blues.
Kup then says he remembers
something from 4 million years in the past. I always liked
how Kup's characterization
as a grizzled veteran of the Cybertron wars came through like this.
We cut to a flashback of
the earlier days of the Cybertron wars, with Megatron, Starscream,
They notice the light
outside is a ship. Blur thinks it's a Decepticon ship; but Carly
suggests it could be one
for the Autobots. Hot Rod runs off, leaving Kup in command.
 | ||
| Kids these days and their ball joints and Aligned continuities! In my day, we had flying bricks for toys, and we liked it! |
We then start seeing the
combiners in action. The Aerialbots combine into Superion.
Superion and what I think
is Bruticus (it could be Menasor) then charge at each other.
Then, we get the original
Devastator in action. Optimus Prime has a dynamic entry-
dropkicking Devastator. Oh
yeah! Optimus Prime just dropkicked Devastator! I think this
calls for “The Touch!”
 | |||
| YOU'VE GOT THE TOUCH! YOU'VE GOT THE POWER! YEAH! |
Jazz tells Optimus that he
doesn't have the strength to deal with Galvatron, but Optimus
continues to fight!
Grimlock points out that
he doesn't recognize these Decepticons. The Decepticon
Headmasters introduce
themselves as Weirdwolf, Skullcruncher, and Mindwipe. Only $19.95
each! Visa, Master Card,
and American Express accepted!
Slag charges in. Regarding
the Dinobots, Grimlock is my favorite, but Slag comes in
second. Mindwipe uses his
ability on Slag, and he slows down and falls asleep. The Dinobots
were originally based on
earlier stages of paleontology where dinosaurs were seen as slow,
dimwitted beasts. The
advances that were made in each decade now depict them as more agile,
much like birds. This made
it in when the Dinobots were brought back in Transformers Animated.
All the Autobots in the pit
get hit with the beam, which include Grimlock and Sunstreaker. With
the Autobots down, Galvatron proclaims that Cybertron is now his. A
voice
then proclaims that
Cybertron will never belong to Galvatron. It's Fortress Maximus, the
largest
Transformer ever!
In come the Autobot
Headmasters: Chromedome, Hardhead, Highbrow, and Brainstorm.
We end on the Autobot and
Decepticon Headmasters staring each other down.
“Four Warriors Come Out
of the Sky” is as uneven as you can imagine for the first
episode of the first
Transformers anime. It's clear the fact that Japan had not yet gotten
The
Transformers: The Movie led
to continuity problems, not the least of which the memetic
recreation of Optimus
Prime's death (which I had to omit from this recap for pacing). The
animation is incredibly
poor; and the voice acting is some of the worst I've ever heard.
Even so, it does have a
certain amount of camp value to it in how cheesy it is. That can be
said for other Transformers
anime I'll be covering. There is definitely material for more
recaps of Headmasters, but
the next Transformers-related recap will probably be on one of
the series of the Unicron
Trilogy (I'm leaning towards Energon). For now, Iron Man 3 just
opened to uniformly
positive press and a huge box office take; so I intend to get started
on
the recap of the first
episode of the Iron Man anime as I promised in my recap of Traffic
Light
Chaos. See you space
cowboy!
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