Hello again. In the last
few recaps, we talked about the mecha genre of anime. Now,
let's talk about the
magical girl genre. The magical girl genre involves just that: young
girls
gaining magical powers to
tackle all sorts of ordeals and dangers. This is also one of the key
genres of anime, and one of
the ones to be most recognized among Western anime fans.
Common ones include Sailor
Moon (which is getting a new series for its 20th
anniversary)
and Madoka Magica, but
today's subject is a bit different. We are looking at the first
episode
of Magical Doremi, the
dubbed version of Ojamajo Doremi.
While Ojamajo Doremi is a
very well-regarded series in Japan, Magical Doremi was
a bust; being one of 4Kids'
worst dubs. Still, they have done far worse things to One Piece, but
it's still got plenty of
material for recaps; starting with the very first episode. So, let's
open up
“Now I Am a Witchling.”
We open on some narration
of a town called Port Mystic. A harbor town where people
go about their lives,
unaware of the magic all around them. Even after the disastrous Xbox
One unveiling, people still
want to support Microsoft in the video game business!
We see a magic shop with a
little girl looking over some gemstones while the owner,
Patina, talks to her.
Patina says the right one will grant the girl's wish, but the wrong
one will
put a curse on her.
Oh, Merlin's beard, the
theme song. With a bubbly pop beat and lyrics such as “you've
got a broom and I've got a
wand, we've got magic, we've got a bond,” it's a medley of
manufactured mediocrity. THIS is how you write a pop song about
magic.
We see our lead, Dorie
Goodwyn, saying a little spell to find true love. She's not a great
character, but she's made
worse by the dubbing. Just as well, this show is now owned by
Saban Brands.
 | ||
| Please help me by giving me a real witch: Hermione Granger! |
Dorie is about to head to
school when she's stopped by her sister Caitlin, who is not
happy with Dorie practicing
from her spellbook all the time. If you think that's bad, I've had
friends get in trouble for
looking at Fifty Shades of Grey.
She heads to school, and
for some reason; her school has a statue of Karl Marx. For
frame of reference, it's an
elementary school. This raises a lot of questions about the
administration.
 | |
| If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding! How can you have pudding if you don't eat your meat?! |
We see the girl from
before talk to a soccer player named Robbie. She has the gemstone
around her neck.
Dorie says the spell to
herself again so she can talk to Robbie. Robbie comes walking
by, but she hesitates as a
deformed version of her head starts yelling at her. This girl is 8,
she's
got some problems if this
is happening to her.
 | ||
| Come on, you daffy tart! Go to him. You were Amy Rose, you have experience with unrequited love! |
Ultimately, she doesn't go
to him, and starts washing her face in the sink outside. She
is dismayed that the spell
didn't work. From this perspective, it looks like she's trying to
drown
herself. Kind of morbid for a kids' anime.
In class, they're reading
the book they're assigned while Dorie is reading the spellbook.
The boy, named Finnigan, is
having trouble with the book and is asked to let someone else have
a chance. He's got the
standard dummy voice a lot of characters of his type in anime have.
 | ||||||
| I bent my Wookiee! |
Reanne, Dorie's classmate,
tells her to go to page 15. However, Dorie mistakenly reads
from her spellbook instead!
 |
| What is this drivel? I've read fan fiction that was more comprehensible than this! |
Dorie is promptly sent to
the principal's office, but not before she yells at a boy who made fun of her.
It's time to go home, and
Dorie is feeling depressed about the whole thing. She drops
Dorie is walking home, and
realizes she's gotten lost in a part of town she doesn't recognize.
She finds the magic shop from the beginning, the Rusty Broom. Dorie
declares
that it's creepy, but
decides to check it out; as if she were hanging with Scooby-Doo.
She enters the shop and
sort of skidoos into the frame as if this were an episode of South
Park. Patina starts rocking
back and forth, and even cackles a bit. This is getting to be very
odd.
She finds the spell charms
that the other other girl had. Dorie has found her out: Patina
is a witch! At this, Patina
deflates and melts into a puddle of slime.
Then, a fairy comes up and
says Dorie cannot leave; and must take responsibility for what she's
done. Patina, who is now a green blob, will train Dorie to become a
witch. Patina is not happy with having to train Dorie, but the fairy
tells her to bear with it. Dorie is ecstatic about the whole thing;
and I'm feeling sick to my stomach.
It turns out a witch in
training is a “witchling.” I don't get why fantasy works always
use these sort of words to
refer to kids. “Witchling,” “youngling,” “Sam
Witwicky”-it's so
weird.
The fairy's name is
Lorelei. She, Patina, and Dorie head out back. They present a box
and tell her to choose a
device called a “Dreamspinner.” I don't know about that, but I'd
like
Dorie pulls out a
Dreamspinner and starts fiddling with it. She pushes the center
button
and it unleashes a stream
of energy. A costume comes out of it. Apparently, her call to do so
is “Fa la la la,
dong-ding, now I am a Witchling.” Not nearly as good as “it's
morphin' time,”
“showtime synergy,” or
“by the power of Grayskull.”
She is then instructed to
enter a song code into the Dreamspinner. Well, I'm linking to
a lot of music in this
recap, I might as well put in another song.
She then gets her magic wand
and broom, and starts gushing about what she can do.
It turns out the wand casts
spells combined with wishes, but only if one concentrates very hard.
Her first wish is for a
steak. Why is it that little girls in anime want hot beef? First it
was Yai
Ayano, now it's her!
It turns out the wand is
powered by things called “spell drops,” which are fuel for one
spell each. Dorie then
tries to fly her broom, and somehow manages to fly upside down. It
reminds me of Kiki's
Delivery Service, a much better anime about a child witch in
training.
Dorie then interferes with
a soccer game, leaving everyone confused.
Anyway, Robbie has hurt his
leg. Dorie wants to heal him, but Lorelei says if magic
is used for healing, the
user will take on the ailment. The girl wearing the pendant takes on
the pain instead. Much like
the pain I'm going through watching this. Dorie then tries to help
Robbie win the game. This
time, she not only interferes with the game, but her magic wears
Robbie checks on the girl in
the infirmary, and asks the girl out. Dorie, who had been
treated, spies on him.
Patina remarks she can't tell a broom from a bedknob. Word of advice:
don't reference a good
magic work in your crappy magic work. We end on Dorie breaking down
because she couldn't tell
Robbie how she felt. My word, was this trite.
“Now I am a Witchling”
is a very shaky episode of a lackluster series. The animation
is very uneven; the voice
acting is sad, and the lead heroine is whiny and unlikable. That
said,
they at least tried to make
something worthwhile. They may not have succeeded, but they tried.
I'll have the next recap up
shortly. It will be on something a bit more masculine (I've explained
before that I'm the wrong
person to ask about shojo). I will come back to this series later,
but I
need something more my
speed. See you space cowboy!
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