Recap: Holy Matrimony

Hello everyone. This is going to be one of the last Kanto recaps I have in mind, and is one I have been wanting to do for some time. With this year also marking my brother's one-year anniversary; let's continue looking forward to Generation VIII and #PokémonLet'sGo and open up "Holy Matrimony!"

We open on Ash, Misty and Brock on their travels, with the Pokémon egg in tow. They come across a missing child poster; and notice the boy on it is a younger version of James! I have been wanting to talk about this for ages.

A man named Hopkins then comes rolling up in a limousine, and asks everyone if they've seen the boy in the photograph. When they identify James, Hopkins is ecstatic; and drives everyone to the estate.

As the limo pulls out, Jessie and Meowth spot James' photo on the poster; quite pleased that he's rich. while James is less pleased. This episode is easily one of my favorites from Kanto, since it shows why James is the way he is.

Hopkins pulls into the estate, and it turns out that not only did James live in this mansion as a child, they also had a mansion-sized doghouse for his favorite Pokémon: a Growlithe named Growlie. Friggin' rich people in the '90s, man.

They walk in on what's apparently a wake for James' parents, and in hindsight; I'm surprised that 4Kids initially left this scene in, given how much they would change later. If and when Yu-Gi-Oh VRAINS is dubbed, I hope they stop using the "Shadow Realm" as a "Get out of Death Free" card.

Anyway, it turns out that James has 24 hours to marry his fiancee after his parents' death; or their will states all their money and the estate will be donated to charity. Even after Jessie and Meowth find out James is loaded, he's still unwilling to go through with the wedding! While Jessie's rough life in foster care had been hinted at before and since (due to her mother's disappearance and apparent death), James has his own issues at home.

While Ash, Brock and Misty wonder just what will happen; Jessie and Meowth try browbeating James into going through with the marriage, he exclaims he's all mixed up; saying he last remembers being a bike gangster and a Pokémon Tech washout. Yeah, the whole thing with the training camp never happened.

"

The only other thing that James remembers is being lost in the snow with his beloved Growlie; and he apparently froze to death in the cold by the view of stained glass angels on a church window. So, this episode's little taste of Dog of Flanders by way of "The Little Orphan," interesting.

While everyone else is moved by James story, Misty angrily points out the obvious: "JAMES IS STANDING RIGHT THERE!" This redhead's exclamation is also summed up by another Red's words.

The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

Jessie then encourages James to fake his way through the wedding, then elope with all his money! James will have no part of this, but Jessie and Meowth decide to quite literally use him as their puppet; wearing "invisible costumes" that are actually Kuroko costumes; as my associate Dogasu pointed out. Personally, I think "ninjas" would have worked, even if it is obvious.

Yet, Hopkins decides to go along with it anyway. As I have pointed out, I always loved the 

servile snarker archetype for butlers and other manservants.

"You can borrow the Rolls-Royce if you like, just fill it up before you bring it back."

At that moment, James parents' leap out of their caskets; revealing the whole thing to be a ruse! James is further displeased by their trick, but Hopkins grabs him and takes him upstairs to prepare for their wedding. Everything has been the usual Kanto craziness so far, but now, things are really going to get crazy once we see James' betrothed.

Before that, his father's comment about comparing a man that can't settle down to a "bumblebee without a nose" always sounded odd to me. Wouldn't that be a Beedrill, especially since they wouldn't come up with Ribombee for almost 20 years?

I digress: we are then introduced formally to James' crazy fiancee, the reason why he ran away years ago: Jessiebelle!

Miss her, kiss her, love her: that girl is poison!

Everyone still plays along with the charade until they're taken downstairs. However, instead of the vault being full of money, jewels and other valuables; it turns out that, and I never noticed this when I was younger: that James has been led to a "romantic" dungeon with Jessiebelle playing dominatrix to his submissive! ...That's actually the best why I can describe it and still keep things relatively work safe.

Jessiebelle then has her Vileplume incapacitate James with its Spore attack, and Hopkins ejects everyone else from the premises. This is definitely one of the strangest episodes I've seen of the original series, which also means it's one of my favorites.

Upon being thrown out the door, Brock remarks that "every rose has its thorn," and Misty adds that "she's more like a cactus" to describe Jessiebelle. I guess it would be a while before they came up with Cacturne and Maractus.

Then, there's sounds of banging and growling coming from the doghouse; and they all force the door open to release James' beloved Growlie! Leaping into action, Growlie attacks Jessiebelle's Vileplume and rescues James from the dungeon!

Hiding out in Growlie's doghouse, James is very happy to see his favorite Pokémon as Jessiebelle vows to follow him to the ends of the world!

James then finally recounts how much pressure his aristocratic upbringing had; and it was being engaged to the controlling Jessiebelle that led to him running away from home, and the root of his cowardice and goofy persona. Maybe it's just me, but I rather like the idea of making a funny quirk stem from a tragic past.

Even as he ran away, young Jessiebelle wouldn't stop hounding him about how to eat spaghetti; also claiming that "you're not running properly!" Hey, if he's doing this; he's definitely doing it so he can run how he wants.

Jessibelle tries to send Vileplume after James again, but with Growlie and Pikachu's combined attacks; she and her overgrown corpse flower are sent packing. so much so that she knocks Hopkins and James' parents off the veranda and into the Magikarp pond! His mother then quips, "she's much too good for our delinquent son." Maybe he'd have better luck on eHarmony.

As James bid Growlie so long and rejoins Jessie, we close on Jessibelle chasing Ash, Brock and Misty for their help in finding James; also claiming they're "not running properly!" Hey: at least they're wearing sneakers; and you can somehow tail them in heels. Also, reminder: they can run how they want.

Jessiebelle and Growlie will return in Captain Marvel.

"Holy Matrimony" is easily one of my favorite episodes of Kanto; and for good reason: on top of some delightfully crazy storytelling, it definitely shows why James acts the way he is in a way that's surprisingly heartfelt. The animation has also held up quite well over time, and the remastered version on my Netflix profile was very nicely done. With #PokémonLet'sGo out this Friday, I have a couple more Kanto episodes I want to do before then. I will be picking up my copy of Let's Go Pikachu regardless of whether or not I can get my Switch before then, so check back soon for my remaining Kanto recaps. See you, space cowboy.