Recap: Jinbanyan's Secret

A lot of you probably aren’t going to like this. I understood the risk when I started this blog; and have dealt with this mentality for some time. It is, however, once again time to prove I have an opinion of my own. I don’t like Yo-Kai Watch. 

If my piece on the franchise before did not make that clear; then I think it will be after this. While the animation itself is quite good; I feel the story is not making creative use of the Yokai they have at their disposal, and they’re not really written like characters so much as products. It also really doesn’t help that even though there are some interesting characters and stories (such as the Komasan and Jinmenken segments); every time that Keita Amano (tentatively known as Nathan Adams for the planned US release) is onscreen, I feel disappointed. 

On top of that; the series is structured in a manner that forgoes learning more about the Yokai and how they affect the world in favor of selling toys and telling jokes nonstop. Even so; the popularity has grown to the point where it’s high time for a man like me to express his backlash with the series.

However; instead of my usual style, like with IGPX; I’m going to take a different approach. This anime honestly doesn’t deserve my anger. If all I have been given is cold and calculating; then that is what it shall receive in return. I shall also take the opportunity to point out that the series is essentially wasting its potential with the path it’s taking. To illustrate this, let’s open up “Jinbanyan’s Secret.”

We open on one of the mascots of the franchise, Whisper; greeting us and telling us to enjoy the world of Yo-Kai without reserve. Too late for that, buddy. 

He goes onto say the hero of today’s story has a painful memory that he tried to forget. “Hero” is a bit of a strong word. Let’s just settle for “protagonist.”

He then wonders what it could be. I know I’m going to need a Spotless Mind after this.

This leads into the theme song; which keeps repeating the phrase “laugh out loud.” I don’t even smile watching this. You’re wasting your time. 

We open proper on Whisper and Jinbanyan exercising while Keita reads. I had to determine for a long time how to approach this; and not just because I didn’t have a tangible release date. At this point, I’ll just take what I can get with “spring 2016” being the ETA (there may be something more concrete at E3, I don’t know. We’ll see.).

Keita gets annoyed at this, and yells at the Yokai over the whole thing. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen! This is one of many cases where Keita acts in this manner towards the Yokai he encounters. If it’s not that, it’s being on the receiving end of the misfortune they cause.

This guy is supposed to be a role model? He’s a bit of a douche.

Whisper is telling the audience about something that happened in a much weaker version of this story in the pilot. Observe this screen cap for proof.

It's incredibly redundant how redundant this statement is.

Jinbanyan, not amused by Keita’s behavior, angrily storms off. You know, Jinbanyan, you’ve actually got a point there.

We then see our female lead, Fumiko. Now THIS lady should have been our protagonist. If I do play these games, I know who I’m playing as. 

Keita wonders if he can just summon him with his medal; asking if it’s too complicated. On the contrary; it’s deceptively simple. While Whisper tries to convince him of Jinbanyan’s support; frankly, I don’t think he deserves your support.

Whisper then turns around and says it’s better not to feel depressed about the moody cat being. I don’t really have feelings of any kind for you guys, so that’s fine.

Then, two more Yokai, Gin and Kin decide to teach everyone a lesson by turning back time.

It turns out that Jinbanyan was once a real cat that was known as Akamaru; who lived with a young girl named Emi. While we got a bit of this from the pilot; this would have been a stronger way to introduce the character, and I’ll get more into why soon. 

Angry at her parents reaction to her test, she bikes off with Akamaru towards the riverbank. 

Emi then goes shopping; capped off with a trip to the ice cream parlor.

It's like the animation director said; "I want you to have this girl eating ice cream; it'll make her look like more of an asshole."

Here’s a bit that’s actually somewhat creepy; but I really wish I were watching Soul Eater right now. It seems in the netherworld; this is one of many works that makes use of the celestial bureaucracy. While it is somewhat amusing; it’s this part that makes me doubtful if this series can succeed in the US the way it has in Japan. Given how the pitch is almost the polar opposite of the Japanese one; I smell extensive edits and rewrites being made. 

Not what I expected when I said "Beetlejuice" three times.

Case in point: now that we actually know what Akamaru was like before he became Jinbanyan, I can make the argument that this would have made a better introduction to the series. Getting hit by a car is one thing; but it’s more effective when we know about the character that it’s happened to rather than just having it happen out of context.

So, this time; Jinbanyan actually died saving his master rather than just by accident. Don’t get me wrong; a Cerebus Retcon is an effective way of making a story work better, but why not just have this be the pilot? We don’t really need 24 episodes of slapstick and puns coming at the expense of characterization and story. You could have this open the series; and poof: we’re off to the races.

Gin and Kin are disappointed with the results; as I am, and wonder what to report to someone named Motojime. The script is garbage; but it sells toys, so you’re solid. 

So, we close on Keita wondering what happened to his pudding, saying he didn’t eat it. Oh, you eat it big time; Keita.

“Jinbanyan’s Secret” is a prime example of how Yo-Kai Watch has potential as a concept; but I do not share the enthusiasm others have towards it. This episode demonstrates how the Yokai can be touching and moving rather than merely being flashy playthings. Yet, the series before and since has not really done anything to sway me from my favorite series.

A large part of this also stems from the fact that Keita is really not all that interesting or likable as a character. I didn’t even show you the more egregiously bad behavior of his; since I wanted to ease into doing recaps of this. Believe me, there’ll be another time for me to dunk on this with my usual style.

In essence; I must once again point out that unless I do genuinely find something amusing, I like to be challenged a bit more; which is why I doubt the series will be successful here the way it is in Japan. I must also express my disdain for the fact that not only did the anime outperform a TV airing of A Letter to Momo; a brilliant work about Yokai eightfold, but the games have outsold Ni No Kuni; Level-5’s amazing game with many of the same themes. I recommend you go play that instead, since it’s already out here and better.

I will give the anime this: the animation is indeed high-quality. The angles, lighting, and the way the characters move is quite impressive. It’s just a shame that amount of energy couldn’t be channeled into the script or characterization in other episodes.

With this on the table; I really don’t think the series will do the massive numbers that it has in Japan. Not with Level-5’s Inazuma Eleven being effectively buried here despite being one of their bigger names there as proof. Digimon Fusion just barely managed to get a second season (not counting the possibility of Young Hunters Leaping Through Time being dubbed); and even One Piece took about 10 years to undo the damage a certain unnamed party did.

As for the games: it’ll be in the kids’ hands; like it is there. The year is looking to be quite competitive among my demographic; with Star Wars Battlefront, Batman Arkham Knight; Yoshi Woolly World, Guitar Hero Live and Rock Band 4 being among many anticipated titles. Only time will tell if the series will be a smash in the vein of The Avengers or crash and burn like John Carter.

I will deal with this more at another time. Right now; I need to mull over what I’m going to do to detox from this. My word, I need a stiff drink. 

Recap: Memory Bread/Lost and Found Fishing Pond

Hello again. School has been incredibly busy this term; and retaking algebra has not helped matters. So, I think I’ll take things easy with this recap while I also detox from the double whammy of Code Geass R2 and IGPX; and it will be a while before I do more of either.

In the meantime; let’s talk Doraemon. This adorable cat is every bit as iconic in Japan as Mickey Mouse is here; so it’s only natural that I took a look at the recent dub aired on Disney XD. I also watched some of the older stories from the 1970s to get ready for this recap. So, let’s open it up. 

We get our first segment; a reimagining of one from the 1970s; “Memory Bread,” as Noby (Nobita in Japan) is in a tiff about his double whammy of English and Math tests on the same day. He can’t decide whether he should drink a pot of tea and stay up all night studying; or get a good night’s sleep and cram early in the morning.

I told them, "I can do Romance of the Three Kingdoms, I can be  a wonderful Lord Nobunaga," but no! What do I get? Code Geass R2!

It also turns out that in the dub, Noby and Doraemon are voiced by Johnny Yong Bosch and Mona Marshall; two reasonably big names in anime voice acting. Doraemon then pulls out the Anywhere Door and takes Noby to his school.

Essentially, the premise of the series involves various gadgets being used to solve everyday problems. As such: Hilarity ensues. Example: an “animal beam” turns Noby’s homeroom teacher into a gorilla. 

Back at home; Doraemon then pulls out the titular memory bread; enriched with all sorts of vitamins and minerals!

Noby, however; is skeptical about the idea. 

What next? Cognition Jelly?

He presses a slice onto Noby’s notebook. So it works like Silly Putty on pencil marks.

As Noby eats it, he promises that he will remember what he learned better.

This thing's bland as all get-out, just like IGPX!

Doraemon then quizzes Noby on some of his notes.

As their study session continues; Doraemon is less than amused by Noby’s suggestion of adding peanut butter to the bread to make it taste better.

"Peanut butter?" What do I look like, a tanuki?

Noby then decides to go study with others that are also taking the test. Some of the folk he sees are Sneech and Big G (Suneo and Giant in Japan). While they are technically bullies; again, much like Bulk and Skull, they’re not that good at it; and often rely on Noby and Doraemon to bail them out of trouble. 

While Sneech is voiced by Brian Babcock in the dub, Big G is voiced by Kaiji Tang. I haven’t seen too much of Babcock’s work; but Tang has been quite active in both anime and video games for playing very boorish and big characters (he voiced Dax in Mega Man NT Warrior; which I’ll probably be doing more of in the future). Naturally, he’s not looking forward to the test any more than Noby is.

I told them, "Teach, I was in Samurai Warriors for years! How many video games have you done?"

My writing process lately also involves me doing my own little version of Cinema Sins; so here’s a taste of how Jeremy has influenced me lately.

It's like the animation director said, "I want you to have this kid drinking juice, it'll make him look like more of an asshole."

Of course, Big G’s notebook is in less-than-desirable conditions from him studying everywhere; and I mean everywhere. Noby’s reaction is my own.

If this is how you study, I don't want to know how you have fun!

He then goes over to his friend Sue (Shizuoka in Japan); and begins working on his English there.

Oh soft, what light from yonder window breaks?

That’s not just a joke by the way: that’s actually some of the material they’re studying in this segment. It’s an old joke even in western media that elementary schoolchildren are assigned material that’s generally what I learned in high school.

To die, to sleep, no more!

Then, Noby decides to take a break and do some lighter reading; as well as have some fresh fruit served on a large, pointed stick.

Oh, Yotsuba Koiwai, how droll and witty can you be?

Even so; Noby has eaten close to a loaf of the memory bread when gets home for dinner on tempura night. It is here I must point there were attempts to move the setting stateside; as well as some cosmetic edits regarding things like money and text. The doriyaki buns that Doraemon favors became “yummy buns,” yet this very Japanese dish remained intact. I shall pair this image with Awkward Zombie’s take on the process with that on the table (thanks to Katie for pointing out how weird this is sometimes).

Be that as it may; Noby no longer has any more room for the bread after the fish tempura!

I can't do it! I've eaten fan fiction that tasted better than this material!

Doraemon decides to help him swallow; whether he likes it or not!

It puts the water down the hatch, or else it gets the bread again!

The next morning; Noby is caught up the bathroom, much to the disappointment of his father. 

What is that boy doing in there?

Apparently, all that Noby has memorized has quite literally gone down the drain and devolved into gibberish! 

Mastodon Lion Thunderzord Power!

So; the segment ends with Noby and Doraemon doing last minute cramming while his mother looks on. She says, no matter how she looks at it, it’s weird. That’s what anyone says who isn’t familiar with the medium; but I love it anyway!

The next segment; “Lost and Found Fishing Pond”, begins with everyone fishing. Noby doesn’t care for it all that much; largely because he isn’t that good at it.

Canned fish shows up to mock bad fisherman at convenient moment.

Returning home; Noby dismisses the whole thing as barbaric. Now slicing up eyeballs with a zanpakuto or Power Ax, that’s where the sport is!

He then realizes he forgot his mother’s bucket; and asks Doraemon to help find it without going back to the creek. Doraemon then presents the titular “Lost and Found Fishing Pond.” I think I used to have one of these.

He searches out one bucket; but grabs Big G’s instead!

This isn't mine! Mine is still in the can!

He throws the fish back, and it slides down Big G’s sweater. 

Doraemon then tells Noby he has to be very specific. So it’s like Google: you have to know exactly what you’re looking for.

He does recover the bucket he is looking for; as well as get Big G to think Sneech is pranking him. Next; he’s looking for his giraffe pen, which takes a bit more effort in angling.

He then pulls out the pen inside a pair of pants.

44-inch waist with balloon seat? Dockers? Uh-oh.

The pants are Big G’s; as Sneech is aghast to find out.

What are you looking at? Haven't you ever seen briefs in XXXL before?

While I have pointed out before I’m not the biggest fan of this joke; it works in this context, and the reason I think others like it; is because it runs on comedic misfortune. The laughs inevitably come at the expense of someone else. It’s something many of my influences enjoy as well (such as Doug Walker and his character of the Nostalgia Critic).

Ironically-named flower shop shows up to mock debagging victim at the last minute.

He chases Sneech; blaming him for this ordeal; but is spotted by a couple schoolgirls by the fish merchant. 

He tries to cover himself with a flounder; which draws the ire of the merchant.

Keep my fish out of your shorts, kid! I already had to ban Suzaku from here!

Noby then decides to look for a quarter he lost around the neighborhood.

My boy, are you going to keep doing this when some poor fellow's trousers are on your floor?

It’s at this moment when Big G spots a telephone; and hopes to happen upon some change so he can call his folks to bring him more pants.

I'll be darned if I make my family accept a collect call in my underwear!

Instead; he is ridiculed by some smaller children about his ordeal. You know what this comedy of errors needs? The Entertainer. 

It's wash day! Nothing clean!

He uncovers a whole lot of change! Cha-ching! Doraemon just gives him the quarter he lost while he takes the rest to the police. Yeah, generally the way that works is different in Japan. While it is preferable to turn in lost money here; usually, if you find money on the side of the road; it’s officially public property. 

You'll get nothing and like it!

He decides to take the pond to Sue’s house; where Sneech is hiding out to mock him.

I've seen better fishing on my Dreamcast!

Sneech then decides to play a prank on Noby; taking advantage of the sub dimensional properties of the pond. It’s bigger on the inside. 

Allonsy!

Big G, is of course; raging mad about his stolen pants.

This newspaper doesn't go with this sweater at all! Rather keep strolling in my underpants than have Rand Paul cover me!

Sneech then goes to the vacant lot (unofficially referred to as Sneech Field) to retrieve some of his property from Big G. 

Speaking of which, Big G gets home; but decides against putting on a fresh pair of pants in favor of getting back at the supposed culprit.

I want whoever's ass I'm kicking to see the legs that do it!

As Sneech expresses incredulity at a rubber duck; Big G decides to have a go at him. 

You sure got a purty mouth there Sneech! I bet you squeal real nice!

As Noby and Doraemon realize that they took Big G’s pants; they shudder at the thought of seeing him walking around without them. Could be worse. He also voices a commander of Nudist Beach on Kill la Kill; Trigger, who often walks around stark naked!

Sure enough, Big G has beaten up Sneech for his supposed slight. I wish I could say Sneech fought the good fight; but fishing is no fairy tale.

Noby ultimately decides you should mess with a man’s pants.

So, we close on the everybody laughs ending as Big G decides to let the fruit out of the loom; since it’s 70 and sunny!

“Memory Bread/Lost and Found Fishing Pond” are solid ways to introduce Doraemon to westerners. The series is pretty good in any language; and the bits from this episode are often used in the promos. I would definitely recommend watching it.

Also, since Level-5 is on track to bring Yo-Kai Watch stateside by spring 2016; I now have a reason to officially recap it. I’ve been meaning to branch out more; so hello new target practice! I have at least three episodes in mind; to be done at various points during the year. See you space cowboy! 

Recap: Fashion VS Function

Hello again. I’ve been wondering how to approach this recap for a long time; especially with how busy this term of school looks to be. After some thought, I ultimately decided my usual style is not the best way to approach this; and I’ll have to conduct myself in a different manner.

That said; it is once again time to prove that I have an opinion of my own. Around 2013; I was informed of a series called IGPX, which was to be aired in reruns on the new Toonami. Despite what others said; I’m sorry, but I did not love this series the way you expected me to. There are numerous reasons I could use to tear it apart; but that would be much too easy for me. 

In essence, I was told I would be getting a stellar series with great animation; wonderful characters and brilliant writing. That series was One Piece; which for myself, and others, thoroughly took the wind out of that announcement. Even after the initial drops; it, alongside Bleach and Naruto (the other members of Shonen Jump’s “Big 3” at the time), the old warhorses of Cowboy Bebop; The Big O,

and Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood, as well as newcomers like Soul Eater and Black Lagoon regularly outdrew the show; going by TV By the Numbers and Toonami Faithful. 

This, along with the One Piece Season 7 simuldub, the premiere of the massive smash Attack on Titan; and my favorite anime, Gurren Lagann being rerun at 2AM, all worked to make sure the show would be that much harder to take on its own.

It is here that there is the possibility of it being rerun that I finally decided to write about it; after watching the bulk of the series just to make sure I just wasn’t “getting it.” Sure enough, I didn’t really get the thrills or chills that my favorite mecha series can inspire the way others did. Let’s open up “Fashion VS Function” and talk about it.

One factor that people touted towards me was the music. Sorry if I come off like Jack Black’s character in High Fidelity or the Gen-X record store owner in that one Simpsons where Homer toured with the Smashing Pumpkins; but it just came off as noise to me. So, I shall substitute with a better tune that really gets me pumped for racing. 

Also, it doesn’t help that I’m probably way to used to the likes of the Gundam franchise’s horrors of war or the various series that GAINAX crafted. Maybe I should go easy on this one.

Well, our first proper shot being a discount Midgar isn’t a good start. Seriously; Final Fantasy VII came out in 1997, a full 10 years before this anime; and it had better-rendered buildings than this.

We see one of our female leads, Liz, trying her hand at modeling. I’m just going on record that she’s not my type. I like Yoko Littner. I don’t see her joining my list of Top 13 anime women anytime soon.

On top of that, her voice acting is inconsistent in terms of quality. It’s like Derpy Hooves tried to be racer. 

I just don't know what went wrong!

The second female pilot, Amy fared little better with me; as I just found her too mousy. She came off more like Jake Lloyd in a wig than Rei Ayanami. 

Is it OK to say this kid sucks?

Apparently, our lead didn’t think too highly of Liz doing modeling, and got slapped on the back for it. His name is Takashi.

There’s also negotiations for Liz to race for another team. Hands up: who honestly thinks this deal will go through?

There’s even a scene where they try to create tension by having the negotiations take place over a seafood dinner. So? Catholics do that every Friday!

The next day, we are treated to one of the races. What’s ostensibly the selling point for me is instead one of my biggest failings with this anime. 

Takashi then gets ready to go; in a race that’s twice as insipid and 20 times as long as your typical pod race. 

This pre-race ceremony is brought to you by the new Dodge truck, and by Bud Light; inviting you to drink your fill and then drive home in your new Dodge truck!

The race has not yet started and I feel the need to address the way they’re presented: the mechs stand up to race; despite the fact that the designs don’t look like they can support their own weight, much race. I wouldn’t be so hard on it if they at least tried to explain it somehow, but they don’t. So, I’m going to bring a concept known as the “square/cube law:” generally, if something increases in size; it also should account for an increase in mass. The designs look like they’ll topple over before they get a chance to get to the speeds they definitely should not be reaching. 

Yet; this is what happens every time a race occurs. The laws of physics, and any kind of rational thought is thrown out the window. People tried to tell me that they liked the idea of mech Nascar. Personally, I originally intended to do this recap opposite a major Nascar race to counter that claim; but as per usual, life got in the way. This honestly has more in common with Mario Kart; but even that’s actually fun for me! 

The race begins; and the CGI is honestly some of the worst I’ve ever seen on TV. Despite the high budget and it being the first US/Japan coproduction for Cartoon Network; it looks shockingly crappy. It almost feels like watching Power Rangers Turbo on a bad trip.

Go! Power Rangers Turbo! Go!

Honestly; it’s scenes like this that make me wonder why people gave the Wachowskis’ version of Speed Racer so much flak, yet this is held in surprisingly high regard! 

Takashi apparently has trouble with his brakes; which gives him the brilliant idea to change modes to make the jump! Nine minutes in. Not too late to switch over to The 700 Club, folks! 

This setting is like Mute City without the fun! Now you’re making Dinosaur King look realistic! Can you put a little more effort into this CGI, guys?! 

Seriously, these excesses are on par with The Matrix Reloaded; only I have the opposite reaction to that of not finding it as bad as others said! 

So, regarding my thoughts to this race as opposed to others; I can pretty much sum them up in good news and bad news. Bad news: I have no idea who’s racing who or why. Good news: I don’t care. 

Apart from how ugly the CGI is; there’s no real way for me to discern one race or mech from another. They just all start to blur together. In a sense; it’s always on autopilot. This is almost as exciting as the time I dropped a can of tuna, and I thought it would hit my toe; but I moved my foot at the last moment and it missed! 

My biggest problem with the voices being so inconsistent is the fact that the commentator is voiced by Tom Kenny. As in, SpongeBob, Animated Starscream; live-action Wheelie; Ice King, and many others. Yet, even when he tries to sound excited; he just sounds so sedate. Especially when his Japanese seiyuu at least managed to convey some enthusiasm!

As the race goes on for another 9 minutes or so; I shall point out a question that I often get asked is why The Dark Knight of all films is my favorite film. I shall state the film  not only works wonders as a superhero film and a Batman story; but also manages to be an engrossing crime drama that takes a decidedly implausible concept and makes it work in a context as if it were taking place in our world. That is a large factor why it proved to be such a massive hit among multiple demographics; young and old, critical and general audiences.

By that proxy; Guardians of the Galaxy managed to not only be a big hit from the built-in audience of the comic, but also managed to be an appealing and well-made space opera on its own merits. Yet, I’m not entirely sure what part of me this anime is trying to appeal to. It can’t seem to decide whether it wants to be a campy and fun mech racing series or a gritty; Redbelt-like deconstruction of its genre. As a result; I just kept watching One Piece instead, since that knows when it has to be silly and when it has to be serious; as well as how to utilize its premise. 

That night, Liz takes part in the fashion show as promised. Just as well, I don’t really care what happens to these people. 

The traditional animation also fares little better than the CGI, as they can’t even do face faults right! Damn it, you’re not worth the bandwidths I watch you on!

Let this screen cap illustrate the biggest point I’m getting across; my main problem with the anime, more than the animation; acting, characterization or writing. Throughout the course of this episode alone; we’ve had races that are way too over-the-top for the teenage and adult audience the new Toonami is targeting, as well as a story that seems like it would play more for Saturday morning audiences alongside Sonic Boom, Pokémon, and Teen Titans Go. On the other hand; it’s also full of things like relationship strife; profanity, and casual workplace violence, as well as business dealings and modeling; generally elements kids won’t find fun. Just who is the target audience anyway?

This may also be the principal reason why the show has never been able to really carve out anything but a small niche audience that I don’t belong to; and why I don’t see another rerun as being all that feasible.

Naturally; Liz wins the competition. What a fucking load.

“Fashion VS Function” is a summary of all my problems with IGPX. In spite of all that has been said about it; I was massively oversold on the show’s merits. These aren’t characters, they’re barely archetypes. This is not a story; it’s barely a concept. This animation would have been outdated in 1988; much less 2008.

Moreover, when the same people suggested Redline (no relation to the infamous bomb which made headlines for totaling a $1 million Enzo Ferrari; one of only 400 made); that actually delivered what this couldn’t. It not only appealed to the 9-year-old and 16-year-old in me; but proved that it could be watched by adult viewers without the space coke being done by the alien promoters.

I’m going to mull over what to do to detox after I determine how busy this school term will be. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to Gurren Lagann.