Hello again. I’ve been wondering how to approach this recap for a long time; especially with how busy this term of school looks to be. After some thought, I ultimately decided my usual style is not the best way to approach this; and I’ll have to conduct myself in a different manner.
That said; it is once again time to prove that I have an opinion of my own. Around 2013; I was informed of a series called IGPX, which was to be aired in reruns on the new Toonami. Despite what others said; I’m sorry, but I did not love this series the way you expected me to. There are numerous reasons I could use to tear it apart; but that would be much too easy for me.
In essence, I was told I would be getting a stellar series with great animation; wonderful characters and brilliant writing. That series was One Piece; which for myself, and others, thoroughly took the wind out of that announcement. Even after the initial drops; it, alongside Bleach and Naruto (the other members of Shonen Jump’s “Big 3” at the time), the old warhorses of Cowboy Bebop; The Big O,
and Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood, as well as newcomers like Soul Eater and Black Lagoon regularly outdrew the show; going by TV By the Numbers and Toonami Faithful.
This, along with the One Piece Season 7 simuldub, the premiere of the massive smash Attack on Titan; and my favorite anime, Gurren Lagann being rerun at 2AM, all worked to make sure the show would be that much harder to take on its own.
It is here that there is the possibility of it being rerun that I finally decided to write about it; after watching the bulk of the series just to make sure I just wasn’t “getting it.” Sure enough, I didn’t really get the thrills or chills that my favorite mecha series can inspire the way others did. Let’s open up “Fashion VS Function” and talk about it.
One factor that people touted towards me was the music. Sorry if I come off like Jack Black’s character in High Fidelity or the Gen-X record store owner in that one Simpsons where Homer toured with the Smashing Pumpkins; but it just came off as noise to me. So, I shall substitute with a better tune that really gets me pumped for racing.
Also, it doesn’t help that I’m probably way to used to the likes of the Gundam franchise’s horrors of war or the various series that GAINAX crafted. Maybe I should go easy on this one.
Well, our first proper shot being a discount Midgar isn’t a good start. Seriously; Final Fantasy VII came out in 1997, a full 10 years before this anime; and it had better-rendered buildings than this.
We see one of our female leads, Liz, trying her hand at modeling. I’m just going on record that she’s not my type. I like Yoko Littner. I don’t see her joining my list of Top 13 anime women anytime soon.
On top of that, her voice acting is inconsistent in terms of quality. It’s like Derpy Hooves tried to be racer.
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| I just don't know what went wrong! |
The second female pilot, Amy fared little better with me; as I just found her too mousy. She came off more like Jake Lloyd in a wig than Rei Ayanami.
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| Is it OK to say this kid sucks? |
Apparently, our lead didn’t think too highly of Liz doing modeling, and got slapped on the back for it. His name is Takashi.
There’s also negotiations for Liz to race for another team. Hands up: who honestly thinks this deal will go through?
There’s even a scene where they try to create tension by having the negotiations take place over a seafood dinner. So? Catholics do that every Friday!
The next day, we are treated to one of the races. What’s ostensibly the selling point for me is instead one of my biggest failings with this anime.
Takashi then gets ready to go; in a race that’s twice as insipid and 20 times as long as your typical pod race.
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| This pre-race ceremony is brought to you by the new Dodge truck, and by Bud Light; inviting you to drink your fill and then drive home in your new Dodge truck! |
The race has not yet started and I feel the need to address the way they’re presented: the mechs stand up to race; despite the fact that the designs don’t look like they can support their own weight, much race. I wouldn’t be so hard on it if they at least tried to explain it somehow, but they don’t. So, I’m going to bring a concept known as the “square/cube law:” generally, if something increases in size; it also should account for an increase in mass. The designs look like they’ll topple over before they get a chance to get to the speeds they definitely should not be reaching.
Yet; this is what happens every time a race occurs. The laws of physics, and any kind of rational thought is thrown out the window. People tried to tell me that they liked the idea of mech Nascar. Personally, I originally intended to do this recap opposite a major Nascar race to counter that claim; but as per usual, life got in the way. This honestly has more in common with Mario Kart; but even that’s actually fun for me!
The race begins; and the CGI is honestly some of the worst I’ve ever seen on TV. Despite the high budget and it being the first US/Japan coproduction for Cartoon Network; it looks shockingly crappy. It almost feels like watching Power Rangers Turbo on a bad trip.
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| Go! Power Rangers Turbo! Go! |
Honestly; it’s scenes like this that make me wonder why people gave the Wachowskis’ version of Speed Racer so much flak, yet this is held in surprisingly high regard!
Takashi apparently has trouble with his brakes; which gives him the brilliant idea to change modes to make the jump! Nine minutes in. Not too late to switch over to The 700 Club, folks!
Seriously, these excesses are on par with The Matrix Reloaded; only I have the opposite reaction to that of not finding it as bad as others said!
So, regarding my thoughts to this race as opposed to others; I can pretty much sum them up in good news and bad news. Bad news: I have no idea who’s racing who or why. Good news: I don’t care.
Apart from how ugly the CGI is; there’s no real way for me to discern one race or mech from another. They just all start to blur together. In a sense; it’s always on autopilot. This is almost as exciting as the time I dropped a can of tuna, and I thought it would hit my toe; but I moved my foot at the last moment and it missed!
My biggest problem with the voices being so inconsistent is the fact that the commentator is voiced by Tom Kenny. As in, SpongeBob, Animated Starscream; live-action Wheelie; Ice King, and many others. Yet, even when he tries to sound excited; he just sounds so sedate. Especially when his Japanese seiyuu at least managed to convey some enthusiasm!
As the race goes on for another 9 minutes or so; I shall point out a question that I often get asked is why The Dark Knight of all films is my favorite film. I shall state the film not only works wonders as a superhero film and a Batman story; but also manages to be an engrossing crime drama that takes a decidedly implausible concept and makes it work in a context as if it were taking place in our world. That is a large factor why it proved to be such a massive hit among multiple demographics; young and old, critical and general audiences.
By that proxy; Guardians of the Galaxy managed to not only be a big hit from the built-in audience of the comic, but also managed to be an appealing and well-made space opera on its own merits. Yet, I’m not entirely sure what part of me this anime is trying to appeal to. It can’t seem to decide whether it wants to be a campy and fun mech racing series or a gritty; Redbelt-like deconstruction of its genre. As a result; I just kept watching One Piece instead, since that knows when it has to be silly and when it has to be serious; as well as how to utilize its premise.
That night, Liz takes part in the fashion show as promised. Just as well, I don’t really care what happens to these people.
The traditional animation also fares little better than the CGI, as they can’t even do face faults right! Damn it, you’re not worth the bandwidths I watch you on!
Let this screen cap illustrate the biggest point I’m getting across; my main problem with the anime, more than the animation; acting, characterization or writing. Throughout the course of this episode alone; we’ve had races that are way too over-the-top for the teenage and adult audience the new Toonami is targeting, as well as a story that seems like it would play more for Saturday morning audiences alongside Sonic Boom, Pokémon, and Teen Titans Go. On the other hand; it’s also full of things like relationship strife; profanity, and casual workplace violence, as well as business dealings and modeling; generally elements kids won’t find fun. Just who is the target audience anyway?
This may also be the principal reason why the show has never been able to really carve out anything but a small niche audience that I don’t belong to; and why I don’t see another rerun as being all that feasible.
Naturally; Liz wins the competition. What a fucking load.
“Fashion VS Function” is a summary of all my problems with IGPX. In spite of all that has been said about it; I was massively oversold on the show’s merits. These aren’t characters, they’re barely archetypes. This is not a story; it’s barely a concept. This animation would have been outdated in 1988; much less 2008.
Moreover, when the same people suggested Redline (no relation to the infamous bomb which made headlines for totaling a $1 million Enzo Ferrari; one of only 400 made); that actually delivered what this couldn’t. It not only appealed to the 9-year-old and 16-year-old in me; but proved that it could be watched by adult viewers without the space coke being done by the alien promoters.
I’m going to mull over what to do to detox after I determine how busy this school term will be. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to Gurren Lagann.
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