Recap: The New Yo-Kai Watch/The Unboxing

Hello again. Once again, I lament that I have not been able to do as much as I’d like to this month. If you’ve been following me this long; you definitely know I don’t like missing deadlines, especially not ones I set for myself.

Nevertheless; while I planned on doing some of my Yo-Kai Watch targets I had mind before, I decided I would tackle some of the second season which is currently airing to prep for the release of Bony Spirits and Fleshy Souls. Suffice to say; I’m not enjoying this season any more than the first, and I don’t share the anticipation the small Western fanbase has for the sequels, let alone the possibility of localizing Yo-Kai Watch 3. So, let’s open up the first episode of the second season of the dub and find out why. 

Alarmingly, Whisper greets us and proclaims that it’s been too long. Not long enough.

He then asks if I’ve missed him as much as he’s missed me. Not really.

As a sort of response to the criticism some circles (myself included) have leveled against the series; Whisper suggests some of us “get a life.” Fine, I will. Just don’t tell me what to do with it. This is going to be a long half-hour, isn’t it?

Somehow, the toy promotion has gotten even more blatant; with Whisper describing people waiting in line and insinuating that “everyone wants to be the first to get the latest toy,” Personally, I like getting things online. Much prefer clicking a button to have something shipped to my door while I watch Stranger Things on Netflix in my Pokémon PJs than re-enact Dawn of the Dead (both the 1978 and 2004 versions).

Once again, I’m skipping that joke of an intro and just diving right into the first segment, “The New Yo-Kai Watch” while I listen to something else. 

At the Adams’ household; we see Nate and his father watching a presentation by a Steve Jobs analog; who is not Michael Fassbender, Leonardo DiCaprio or even Ashton Kutcher. Ho boy, here we go. 

This nitwit in the Elton John glasses describes the new “Thingamaphone” (note: even though I’m typing this on my second MacBook Pro while listening to  one of several iPod Classics I’ve owned, my new phone is an Android) as “thin, light and strong.” If you listen closely, you can hear the real Steve Jobs turning in his grave.

In Nate’s room, Whisper is eager to tell him about the live feed from the Yo-Kai Realm. “Live feed?” You do know even LIGHT takes a long time to travel to between subspace, right? Come on! 

We see “Steve Jaws,” who has the aura of a discount Sharpedo. The anime seems to have gotten the best Steve Jobs impersonator you can find in a bar in the dead of night to voice him. Honestly, I don’t care if he’s an animated yokai, this is the least convincing Steve Jobs impression I’ve ever heard. It’s like the voice director said, “for the Steve Jobs analog, find me someone that sounds like Donald Trump, or a drunk Jason Sudeikis!”

So, he unveils the Yo-Kai Watch Model Zero; which even in the show, looks like a garish piece of primary color plastic!

Only $34.95! Video games coming this September to Nintendo 3DS!

Of course, Whisper starts going ballistic about this announcement. Arceus, I wasn’t this excited when I found out Pokkén Tournament was coming stateside! Calm the fuck down!

Regrettably, the voice acting hasn’t gotten much better, and the lip-syncing still sucks. Jason David Frank; I’d rather have my toenails pulled out than finish watching this shit.

Whisper transports Nate to the Yo-Kai realm via Mirapo, yet despite all the Japanese signage and architecture; he refers to the setting as “Yokailifornia.” I refuse to use that name. I’m calling this “random fantasy zone #2.” Honestly, if the writers aren’t going to care, why should I?

They try to find a spot in line; and see almost all the yokai they’ve encountered up to that point. Good thing I’m kind of out of it right now, or else this would be really stupid.

Of course, Komasan and Komajiro; who the dub has turned into stereotypical southerners are in line as well. I know that’s common when dubbing the Kansai dialect for the English language, but here; these two are about as convincing as Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel from The Simpsons.

Also, Hidabat (whose episode I’m not covering, by the way) has somehow brought Nate’s closet to wait in line. Pardon me for this joke, but: Hidabat, please come out of the closet! 

Walkappa, still sounding like a certain Ninja Turtle with an orange mask; says that he’s “hanging loose,” which Hungramps (known as Himoji in the first episode I covered here) adds is “like his pants.” Are you senile, Hungramps? You’re wearing a male kimono! Also, this animated yokai is referring to clothes people typically wear, but yokai often do not.

Dismerelda is there as well, saying she loves shopping! That’s sexist; and I wonder why they’re still using gags like these.

So, the bad news is that I have no idea what’s going on. The good news is that I don’t care.

Of course; another yokai starts acting up at the long wait, known as “K’mon-K’mon.” Or as I call him, Discount Dark Pit!

Amid numerous setbacks which aren’t worth addressing; Whisper and Nate manage to procure the watch just fine. 

Then, Nate runs off with the device like the numbskull he is. Now here’s a kid who’d probably wind up in the hospital for imitating stunts he saw on Jackass. 

Whisper then chastises Nate for his idiocy, and demands he wait till they get home before he starts fiddling with the watch. To think people are dissing Jared Leto’s Joker in Suicide Squad.

You sweet-talking me? All that chit-chat's gonna get you hurt.

Now, it’s time for the next segment, simply titled “The Unboxing.” This guy is no Stuart Ashen.

Here is where things once again; get totally bananas. Despite Whisper’s urging, Nate starts manhandling the box like a junkie on payday. Allow this Syndrome meme to speak for me.

Whisper then demands Nate wash his hands before opening the watch. Don’t try anything funny, you little shit.

Whisper tries to educate Nate about how to carefully unbox the watch; but I still don’t think he’s as good a butler as Alfred Pennyworth. Michael Gough was great, as was Michael Caine; and I think I’m really going to enjoy seeing more of Jeremy Irons’ version of the character in the DC Extended Universe.

Oddly, the analogy he uses is taking the plastic wrap off the interior of a new car. Speak for yourself, I plan on primarily buying lightly used ones. It’s fairly well-known that new cars depreciate in value the moment you drive off the lot.

He then claims “only a complete idiot would throw out the packaging on a collector’s item…” just as he sees the box in Nate’s wastebasket. Ladies and gentlemen, our complete idiot. Personally, I keep a lot of my boxes for when I move; especially as someone who may be getting an apartment of their own after I graduate and get a job in my field of employment. I imagine it might get easier over the next year.

To Whisper’s astonishment; Nate hasn’t listened to a thing he said, and already has the watch on his wrist with the other one. Personally, I’m waiting for the Z-Ring and the Pokémon Go Plus accessory instead (still enjoying that mobile game, by the way. New update just came out too.).

Jibanyan then presents Nate with one of three “Z-Medals” he picked up; which are specifically meant for the redesigned watch. Of course, there’s always more stuff to buy!

Z-Medals only $4.95! Each sold separately!

Nate starts fiddling with the watch AGAIN. Ugh. They all have the IQ of a lobotomized Bidoof.

As further Americanization, they replaced Nate’s map of Japan with a map of America. God damn it, Viz.

After several minutes of squabbling; Nate then jams his hand down Whisper’s throat; which will now be a new gag to switch watches that the anime will run into the ground. I can’t even touch this. It’s like some weird fetish video. I know some guys who’d pay top dollar for this.

Jibanyan then suggests that Nate has to “punch Whisper in the face” every time he wants to switch watches. How does “punch in the face” translate to “shove hand down throat?” Fuck it, the episode’s almost over; I’ll get by.

Yet, that’s what they decide to close on: once again, what everyone else has hyped as “the next Pokémon” is instead little more than flashing lights and toys to me.

We hope you enjoyed this installment of "No Moral Theater!"

“The New Yo-Kai Watch/The Unboxing” is yet another example of my increasing bafflement over Yo-Kai Watch. While it’s admittedly not as bad as the first season opener was; and the animation is still colorful and sharp, there’s just not a whole lot I can see in terms of an engaging story or interesting characters that other anime that feature yokai and Japanese culture as themes have.

As for the games they’re trying to sell: I’m still skeptical about the idea that the sequels will kickstart the series here like they did in Japan. At the time of this writing, Pokémon Sun and Moon are still regularly topping preorder charts here while Bony Spirits and Fleshy Souls have yet to even enter them. Barring that; there’s still Injustice 2, Resident Evil 7, Tekken 7; the new expansion for World of Warcraft, and the PS4 Neo in the wings; not to mention anticipation for the NX getting higher every day. While I do admit the enthusiasm about a possible western release of Yo-Kai Watch 3 is admirable; it’s probably not going to happen if Yo-Kai Watch 2 doesn’t sell well here. I’m just being realistic, is all.

So, with my grandfather being increasingly needy of help; I will talk more about this when I do my planned targets, which will have to be delayed to September. I still want to do them all before the games launch on September 30; but for now, I’m going to detox while I watch Inside Out again. Next time: my recap of Pokémon Heroes! See you space cowboy!