Hey guys.
Now that my movie recap has had time to sink in, I will briefly list the steps I take when making a recap before I get back to doing so again.
1. Selecting the anime episode
The first step is to pick an episode of an anime that has good material for a recap. It can be one that I'm familiar with, such as the Pokémon and Bleach ones, or ones I just found out about like Bakugan and Code Geass. I go through several if I have to find one I can work with.
2. Watching the episode
So the next step is to watch the episode. While doing this, I pull up a sort of digital notepad and take notes on peculiar things about the episode, as well as keeping a mental note on the plot of the episode. I also take time to take screencaps of the episode so I can show you anything that might provide context for my remarks. I generally pause the episode while taking the notes, so this step takes at minimum, an hour, but the recap of "Love, Petalburg Style" took 4 hours to take notes on.
3. Writing the recap
This is the step that takes the longest. It generally takes about 4 or 5 days to write a recap from the notes I take, though the movie recap took 19 days to write. This step involves determining what notes are relevant to the recap and how I can make them sound funny or if I decide they can. What sounds good on the notepad may not make it into the finished recap. I also write captions for the screencaps I can work into it.
4. Posting the recap
Depending on how stable my internet connection is, and how long the recap is, it can take anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours to post the recap. This step also involves orienting the text in a uniform fashion, and deciding which screencaps are usable. Generally, only about a third of the screencaps I take actually make it into the finished recap. The recap of "A Combination Battle" had 27 screencaps taken for it, but only 9 ended up actually being used. The movie recap was especially tricky in this regard, as over 100 total screencaps were taken, so which ones that could be worked into the final recap had to be held to greater scrutiny.
That is the general process of how I make a recap. As for the next one I'll do to follow my movie recap? Well, I'm mulling over several options, which include an episode of one of the following shows-"Ouran High School Host Club," "Dinosaur King," "Magical Doremi," or "Bakugan: New Vestroia." I'll likely do another Pokémon episode recap once summer officially begins. I will get to "A Double Dilemma", but that will not be the very next Pokémon episode recap. Trust me when I say that even though the Advanced Challenge season as a whole was good, there were some bad episodes there.
Later.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Recap: Digimon: The Movie
Digimon. It's been a while since I
truly had to conduct myself with that
subject. I found the show to be
decent, myself. I primarily watched it because I didn't have
access to Pokémon in some of the
places where I stayed in 2000. My family was drifting from
place to place, and I was just along
for the ride. I am not among the people that thought it was
better than Pokémon, and I fully
realize that I may be in a minority saying this.
The show itself is not the reason I
am writing. I am making a recap because of
a film that came out in 2000,
“Digimon: The Movie.” From what I found, this was a combination
of three shorter movies into a single feature-length film. They
consist of “Digimon
Adventure,” a short OVA that serves
as a launching point of the show; “Our War Game,”
a movie about a Digimon computer virus
that is one's own little taste of Y2K paranoia; and
“Hurricane Touchdown,” which was
the longest of these films in its native Japan, but was slashed up
and had its plot simplified in an attempt to make these very
different films tenuously
tie together.
And why, you ask? Well, in Japan,
there are different ideas about animated movies. These ranged from
20 minutes for “Digimon Adventure” to an even hour for “Hurricane
Touchdown.” These would only qualify them as extended episodes in
America, as we expect
90-minute minimum runtimes of films.
In a sense, Jeff Nimoy, head writer of the dub of
Digimon for its “golden age” from
1999 to 2001, took these three very different films, reduced
the runtime of “Hurricane Touchdown”
from 1 hour to 20 minutes, and wrote a script that
attempted to tie the movies together
with little success.
Unfortunately, it was a very crowded
year for movies in 2000. While it was nowhere
near the onslaught of 1999's deluge of
high-grossing films; it still featured blockbusters that
included, but were not limited to:
“Erin Brockovich,” “X-Men,” “Dinosaur,” “Mission
Impossible 2,” “Gladiator,” “Cast Away,” “Chicken Run,”
and “How The Grinch Stole Christmas.” Fox put the movie out in
early October, not quite ready for Halloween horror-scopes
or the Holiday rush, but too late for
the field of summer movies where a single opening can
mean the difference between a
multi-million dollar hit or a history-making bomb. Nimoy
was all set to put his adaptation out.
The only problem: Fox put it against a movie called
“Meet the Parents,” a comedy that
proved to be a big moneymaker, and became a franchise
with two sequels of dubious quality.
As a result, the movie bombed and was quickly shunted
out to home video and DVD; where more
children would beg their parents to sit and watch it
with them.
There is a simpler reason as to why
this movie was a flop-it just wasn't very good. To put
this in perspective, let me list a few
family films that made more than this movie at the box office; and
note that they were negatively-received as well: “The Flintstones
In Viva Rock Vegas,” “Thomas and the Magic Railroad,”
“Godzilla 2000,” and “Pokémon The Movie 2000.”
I should also note starting this recap
that this film has gained a significant number of fans. I
will come right and and say this: you
never really liked this movie. You tolerated this movie. You
accepted this movie. Saying otherwise is just your nostalgia talking.
So, let's get started.
As the film opens, we get a remix of
the Digimon theme song. This show had an
incredibly catchy theme song. It was a
raw example of scratchy electro-clash that signaled
the end of the 1990s and the beginning
of the 2000s.
We then open on Kari giving us a bit of
exposition on Digimon, the Digidestined, the
digital world, and other information
on this franchise in case the off chance that someone
seeing or renting this movie had not
been exposed to the show beforehand. She states that
while most Digidestined had one
Digimon, there was a boy named Willis who has several.
We are not but two minutes in and the
editing of the Hurricane Touchdown film has already
led to problems. The attempts to tie
three clearly dissimilar films together will get more obvious
as the film goes on
The setting for the Digimon Adventure
segment is an apartment complex called
Heighten View Terrace. The story takes
place 8 years prior to the events of the first season of
Digimon Adventure. In effect, it would
be about 1991 or so. Kari is describing herself and
her older brother, Tai as young
children living in an apartment. It shows their mother going
off to buy groceries and leaving them
alone, at which point Tai would be 3, and Kari would
be 2. I imagine this would be putting
trust in them at that age in Japan, but in America, one
would probably hire a sitter.
Anyway, they notice their computer is
acting strange, as are all the electronics in the
apartment. The monitor produces an
egg. Tai is cooking eggs on the stove, and suggests cooking
that egg as well. Kari narrates that
they could say it came from their chicken coop. I don't understand
how one could have a chicken coop in an apartment. I know that people
sometimes
have pigeon cages above apartment
buildings, but a chicken coop would likely violate city
ordinances (note: where I live in
Oregon, our town has tried unsuccessfully to get chickens
to be kept in the city limits, not
just in rural areas. I don't know if people in Japan have similar
issues).
The egg hatches, and a baby Digimon
emerges from it. Most of this segment, Kari has
been blowing her whistle. She kneels
under the bed where the Digimon is, and blows the whistle in tune
with the Digimon theme. The Digimon blows bubbles all over the place.
Then the Digimon starts eating
everything in sight. It Digivolves (at the time, Pokémon had
the term “evolution” on lock despite it being a word that dates way back) into a basic Digimon (forgive me if I'm not using the
right terminology). It hugs the faces
of our heroes, and continues to eat.
The Digimon introduces itself as
Koromon. Kari introduces herself and Tai, which
Koromon interprets as Kari Kari Tai
Tai. Still not as good a play on words as Pickle Barrel
Kumquat Chimicherrychanga, but OK. The
face hugging continues and reminds me that
I'd rather be watching Alien.
Note of a cut scene: before the
transition, there is a bit in the Japanese version of their
father coming home, and he is clearly
drunk. I will make note of scenes absent from the dub
as the recap goes on. The Digimon
digivolves into Agumon, and Kari muses that it got bigger
than her Uncle Fred at Thanksgiving.
Well I know people don't celebrate Thanksgiving in
Japan; it is entirely an American
holiday. Agumon then crashes through the wall with Kari on
his back.
Agumon runs a riot throughout the town,
and Tai gives chase. He smashes open some
soda machines, chases buses, and fries
a phone booth. Yes, I am old enough to know what
a phone booth is.
"Do you think we're interrupting something?" |
Tai is still after her sister and
Agumon, as he states that it shouldn't be that hard to
find a huge dinosaur. I know. In
Japan, if they aren't smashing buildings, they're being used
by prehistoric warriors or teenagers
to defend the world.
We then are greeted by one of the
most obvious CGI effects of the past 20 years.
While Studio Ghibli films can nimbly
bend traditional animation and CGI, this just looks like
a bad blue screen effect. A bird
Digimon comes through it, and it does not tell us its name.
Agumon digivolves into Greymon, and
goes off to fight the bird.
The fight actually produces some good
action. It seems Greymon is licked, but then
Tai remembers the whistle. Tai plays
it, and Greymon arises to kick some bird tail. Now
let's use that thing to smash some
pigs with a slingshot! Just kidding.
The Digimon disappear, and Kari
states that this would not be their last encounter with
them. We cut to four years after the
events of Digimon Adventure, with the Digidestined
having left elementary school and are
now in middle school. It is here where the fact that
each segment was done by a different
director becomes obvious, as there is little alert that
each segment is drawn in a different
art style but a vortex of zeroes and ones. It can
charitably be described as the
Japanese version of “Heavy Metal,” only with worse animation
and music.
Well, at least Roland Emmerich didn't make it. |
We see Izzy, the computer nerd of the
group, come across something that could threaten
the internet. In other words, Izzy
found out about CISPA. No, he actually discovered a computer
virus that is doing strange things.
Like post dirty pictures and videos all over FaceBook. The virus
transforms into another Digi-egg.
Meanwhile, Tai is at home, mentioning
that he's been having trouble with Sora; and no,
that's not the teenager who swings a
Key-blade and hangs with Goofy and Donald Duck, this one is a girl.
Tai says she's still mad about him throwing up in her hat. This is
dub-only, as if
you couldn't already tell.
Tai writes it in an apology email, but
accidentally ends with with “Love” instead of “from.” Kari
comes in, and Tai quickly covers the monitor as if he were watching 2
Angewomon, 1 Ramen Bowl. Kari then sends the email, much to Tai's
horror.
Kari mentions she's going to a
friend's birthday party. Be sure NOT to sing “Happy Birthday,”
the music rights will blow the budget. She says she got her a pink
Power Ranger.
Yes, I am well aware that Saban
handled the dub. Yes, I would like Digimon Xros Wars' dub
to be included under the venture of
Saban Brands that includes owning Power Rangers (and Beetle Borgs,
and VR Troopers) again. I notice the computer Tai is using has
Microsoft Outlook
open, but a bunch of gobbledygook
about Apple news. Tai starts doing pelvic thrusts against
the computer for no reason.
I watched the video for "Jizz In My Pants" a dozen times, and I'm not stopping now! |
We cut to a montage of the other
Digidestined across Japan, set to Barenaked Ladies'
“One Week,” which dates the movie
every bit as much as the plot of this segment. We see
Joe catching a bullet train to go to
an achievement test readiness class. Other than that, he
doesn't do anything in this movie.
That pissed me off, because Joe was my favorite of the original
Digidestined. We then see Matt and TK, who are currently living with
their grandmother in the countryside (their parents divorced prior
to the start of the series).
Tai says how he doesn't get to have
cake while his sister does. His mother then decides
to make a cake. What? He complains he
doesn't have a cake and he gets one?
As Tai gets the eggs needed to make
the cake, Izzy comes over and states the egg is about to hatch. Tai
looks at the egg in his hand, dumbfounded. Izzy then explains that is
a
Digi-egg. Any person could tell you
that the eggs you buy at a grocery store are unfertilized
and can't hatch chickens, but the
Digi-egg still surprises Tai.
They go over to the computer, and
Izzy states that whatever is growing could delete
the entire internet and ruin their
chances with Willis. That's not possible; and stop trying
to connect three different movies.
The virus, which has hatched into a
Digimon, goes around causing all sorts of mischief.
Naturally, the TV comments in an
incredibly coincidental news flash that checkout stands are
causing problems and confusion. This
is overlaid with a guy in a convenience store buying
some chocolate and the cashier ringing
it up for 1 million, 125 yen (About $10,001.25 at current exchange
rates). I ever pay that much for chocolate, it better be the best I
ever eat.
Tai's mother comes in with beef jerky
shakes. In the Japanese version, it was oolong tea.
I've had oolong tea before. It is very
good, especially when chilled. Tai and Izzy set up to network their
computers together, and put the monitor on the floor. This might make
sense
as all-in-one computers (computers
where all the components but the keyboard and mouse
are built into the monitor) become
more common, but this is a point in time where the computer
and the monitor are not the same
thing.
Tai suggests calling the principal or
Bill Gates. I don't know what's with this movie.
I stopped trying to make sense of it
the first time I saw it. Izzy dictates that the Digimon's name
is Karomon. This is going to be a long
40 minutes. Tai states that if Karomon finds a fast food
website, it would Digivolve faster.
No, it would probably Digivolve slower. Tai then vows to
stop it before it “eats the world
out of house and homepage.” You clearly suck at making jokes.
\
Izzy's computer pings, and Agumon pops
up on the screen. Great, they've entered Maple
Story. The other Digimon and Gennai
come up to say that this Karomon is causing trouble. It
is up to Tai and Izzy to stop them,
and the other Digimon vow to help.
Tai and Izzy call the other
Digidestined. They fail to reach Joe, and their attempts to
reach Matt and TK are fruitless as
their grandmother has poor phone etiquette.
This line is for emergencies only. WHAT, DO YOU THINK I'M ORDERING A PIZZA?! |
Tai's mother then offers Izzy some
potato juice, which is really more Oolong tea. She
also states that this is the first
time she used flour to bake a cake. ...Call poison control.
They also try to get to Mimi, but she
is also out, with her head in the clouds, like always.
They do manage to successfully get a
hold of Kari, but she refuses to leave her friend's birthday
party. The last one is Sora, but she
refuses to talk to Tai. Why? She was given a hair clip by Tai,
and Sora thought that Tai insulted her
hat by giving it to her, so they're not speaking. Tai
and Izzy then realize they're on their
own; and prepare to go after Karomon.
You better fasten your seatbelt, Dorothy, because Kansas is going bye-bye! |
So, Tai gets Agumon and Izzy gets
Tentomon, and they go into the Internet to face
Karomon. The internet apparently
resembles a bunch of cogs and wheels. We still have an
hour total left in this movie, people.
Tentomon says that they have to sneak
up on Karomon. He does this by blasting him
with his Shocker. Makes sense to me.
Agumon follows up with his Pepper Breath. Karomon
taunts them with “So, you like to
play games, huh?” What are you insinuating?
I also note that throughout this
fight scene, Agumon and Tentomon are missing a lot, which infers
that they are incredibly lousy shots. Karomon digivolves into
something that looks
like HR Giger threw up in a Doctor
Dreadful Food Maker. The two then digivolve into
Greymon and Kabuterimon. They attack
the Digimon, now known as Infomon, only to find
that it had a breach in etiquette by
ignoring the Champion level, and going right for the throat
at Ultimate level. The two try to
Digivolve to Ultimate, but Infomon is upon them and takes them out.
Well, that could have gone better.
While Tai and Izzy try to recover from
the attack, Infomon chokes the phone lines, cutting off their
internet connection and leaving him free to halt travel by getting
into land
and air traffic controls. Tai tries to
get ahold of the people he tried to reach before, to no avail.
Even the operator (at least I think
it's the operator, normally busy signals and disconnect
notices are prerecorded messages) gets
angry at Tai. Infomon then uses his control of the phone
lines to call out the people of the
world on his plans for conquest.
Oh, and people will die, starting tonight. I'm a man of my word. |
Tai then makes a quip about Infomon's
control of the phone system running up
a long distance bill. Really? The
whole world could go kaput and you're worried about
the long distance bill?
It is at that moment that Tai and
Izzy make faces that really drive the point home on
how screwed they are.
Well, doesn't that beat all. |
Yes, it is at this moment that data
problems are worldwide. That's what we get for using
Xfinity internet. Matt and TK also
notice the phone is not working as they try to contact Tai
and Izzy.
I'm looking for a Mr. Closeoff, first name Oliver. What did you call me? |
The Coincidental News Broadcast then
states that there is an emergency contact system
used to send and receive voice
messages by dialing 171. If only there were some method
of sending phone messages with text,
so they could keep in touch with a few clicks of the
phone's keypad, but I guess that
wizardry only exists in science fiction.
Tai then gets the reason he couldn't
contact Mimi-she was in Hawaii, without a care
in the world. So, what else is new?
Baywatch: The Animated Series proved a big ratings flop. |
Izzy achieves another way of getting
online-satellite internet by tapping military satellites. This won't
backfire at all!
America is now at risk from Infomon,
and Izzy keeps drinking oolong tea. Matt and TK
get online with a computer in a barber
shop. I tell you this because a scene was cut of them
running all over their town trying to
find one.
Agumon and Tentomon go back in, with
Gabumon and Patamon helping them. Izzy
drinks more oolong tea.
Infomon remarks that he is looking for
the programmer. Matt insinuates that he is
teasing them. Agumon and Gabumon then
Warp Digivolve to WarGreymon and MetalGarurumon.
We then get another fight scene across
the rails of the web. No really, they look like
rails.
Mental wounds not healing, life's a bitter shame, I'm going off the rails on a crazy train! |
TK then tries to command Patamon to
Digivolve, but then Infomon Digivolves into
the evil Diaboromon. Then, the fight
scene gets worse and worse as Diaboromon captures
Tentomon and Patamon.
Then, a feeling comes over Izzy that is
far worse than the fact that a murderous
Digimon is after the world.
I'm serious, it doesn't even look
right. It looks like it belongs in a hentai anime. So, why
is Izzy acting like puberty is getting
the best of him?
That's right! Izzy has to use the
bathroom. Guzzling oolong tea will do that to you.
And this was before the days of
poop-socking.
At that moment, the shit hits the fan
as much as does the bowl. The Digimon are slowing
down. Tai slightly taps the monitor,
and the computer goes into blue screen of death. He was
probably using Windows Vista. If you
have your files backed up, an upgrade to Windows 7
will fix that. (Note: As I post this,
Windows 8 is in development; with a release due this fall.)
No, instead of doing the much more
logical thing of a hard restart, Tai starts shaking the
monitor like Tom Servo after a bad
connection.
I WANNA GET ON THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY! I WANNA GET ON THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY! |
Izzy restarts the computer, and then
berates Tai for screwing things up with Sora.
Things got worse, as it was pretty
much Battleship Potemkin there. For those who
don't know what Battleship Potemkin
is, go watch that instead.
Then, Izzy is getting emails from other
children that were disappointed that their
Digimon didn't win. Sorry, this is not
sufficient reason to be invested.
Diaboromon then delivers Tai and Izzy
an ultimatum- “Who can count backwards from
10?” Look, you're not "Blade Runner." You have no chance of making this a significant experience for
science fiction fans. Still, it tries to play this off as something
interesting,
by having the US launch a nuclear
strike on both Colorado and Japan. This might have
something to do with tapping military
satellites, and now Diaboromon gave the Pentagon
a fingering to do this. Due to the
unfortunate implications, I will move on with the knowledge
that Diaboromon is also copying
himself in a 10-minute countdown.
Izzy gets more emails, and says the
only way to stop Diaboromon is to destroy the original. This will be
no easy task, as there are now 75,000 copies.
The emails are also slowing down
their Digimon, so they must work with this in order
stop them. As they go forth, an upbeat
rock song is playing in the background. This
is wrong. This is worse than “Quest
for Camelot” playing “The Prayer” over an action scene.
Yet, they still choose to play a
cheerful song over the impending doomsday. If you're
going to go that route, at least do it right. There we go.
They reach the Diaboromon, and there is
now an incalculable number of copies.
The copies start beam-spamming the
Digimon.
Izzy still struggles with the emails.
Just hit “reply all”, let the server worry about it.
So, the Digimon are dead in the
water, when suddenly...
Wait, what? What's going on?
They're heeeere! |
I am not kidding. This image has not
been doctored. Tai became digital because of his
bond with WarGreymon. Remind me to
have the Chief smother me.
Tai says that he doesn't have whistle
to wake him, but is here for WarGreymon. You
know what? Go back to being panicky, I
think you're better that way.
And they get strength from all the
kids' emails! I am glad you can't see me raging right now!
They made Omnimon! THAT HAS TO BE THE
BIGGEST COPOUT EVER!
I'M AN ELK! SHOOT ME!
And Omnimon just starts slashing and
shooting all the copies! THIS MOVIE CAN GO
TO HELL!
Oh, thank goodness, there's only one
left. And one minute to go on all things going on in
this segment.
They have to slow down Diaboromon,
but how? Izzy forwards all the emails to
Diaboromon, with a resounding “You've
got mail!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhe3vSe-mmw
Okay. 1. There's another thing most
people unfamiliar with AOL wouldn't get. 2.
I'm majoring in graphics design, not
IT tech, but I'm fairly certain that if there were that many
emails going through, the servers
would crash and they'd be more hosed than saved.
Amazingly, it works. After I recover
from the aneurysms from this segment, we can
move on to the third, final, and most
butchered segment.
We begin the segment based on Digimon
Adventure 2, “Hurricane Touchdown.”
This is the one that suffered the most
editing, with 40 minutes cut from the film and its plot
completely changed to suit the needs
of the movie and tie it with the other two.
Tai is still into soccer, and made up
with Sora. Izzy is still a computer nerd. Matt
is trying to be a rock star. The
protection of the world now falls to TK with Patamon and
Kari with Gatomon, as well as a group
of new Digidestined that include Cody and Fukumon,
Lena and Gorumon, and Davis and
Veemon.
For some reason, TK and Kari are in New
York. They fail to get an internet connection
to contact the others, which makes
Kari uneasy.
There is a bunch of commotion, and we
cut to Willis being attacked by a Digimon
called Antylamon, but keeps referring
to it as Kokomon. Willis has Terriermon, a Digimon that
would later appear in my favorite
season, Digimon Tamers; defend him.
We then get a chase with a bunch of
wall-running and jumping. I would say this is
ripping off Gundam Wing, but that
would imply someone watched Gundam Wing. Which
you should, it got canceled and became
a cult classic because you didn't watch it, you swine!
The chase goes on until Antylamon just
disappears, remarking that he wants to go
back to the beginning. TK says that
Willis is in danger. I know. They're making another
Cat in the Hat movie.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
No, TK tells him that he has to get
away. So, Willis decides to go back to Colorado.
TK and Kari inform their parents of
the change in plans, and go to Colorado as well.
I should point out that I cannot
maintain a Wi-Fi signal on an AmTrak, yet TK and Kari
can get online just fine.
It turns out Willis and Terriermon
are walking to Colorado from New York, which,
according to Google Maps, is about
1,841 miles. Or 2,962 Kilometers for countries viewing
this blog that use the metric system.
Meanwhile, TK states that Willis is
confused and alone in this situation. Much like
people in the theater watching this
movie.
TK and Kari then get this strange
vortex that looks like the Star Gate from “2001:
A Space Odyssey.” TK asks if this is
the entertainment portion of the ride. Another thing
that's changed-you're on your own if
you want entertainment on a train now.
Kari then flops over on a seat due to a
sudden movement on the train, and starts
squirming and shaking her rump for all
the teenage and adult males.
Meanwhile, Davis, Cody, and Lena get
a plane trip and a taxi ride (not really a taxi,
Japanese version just had some guy
with a Volvo), and a single-engine plane trip. They cut so
much out of this segment.
They come across a field, but are still
far away from their destination. They rest in
front of an ad for a Mazda MPV.
Conveniently, they find a truck that
Willis just happens to be riding in. They are getting
close to Colorado, but I still have no
idea where in the blue devil they are.
The truck reaches Colorado, but are
still a bit far from Willis' house. Willis and Davis
argue a bit, and Willis decides to
order a pizza to be delivered to his address; so they can
flag down the vehicle.
Amazingly, it works. Well don't knock
what works...
Shit. As if Willis' and Davis' plight
couldn't get any worse, Antylamon attacks again.
He even knocks Davis into a product
placement for Northwest Airlines.
And I thought "Airport '79" would be the worst movie I'd see advertising for them in. |
Davis has Veemon Digivolve into Flamedramon, which, I'm not going to lie, has a really
cool design. This starts a fight scene, but it drags on to the point where it gets really lame.
Then, Terriermon Digivolves into
Gargomon. Yes. I need to be reminded of Digimon
Tamers right now.
Gargomon simply blasts Antylamon enough
to drive him off. Still, they need to get
to Willis' house. How do they do this?
Davis has him Digivolve into
Raidramon, with the storm of friendship! Now we
shall love and tolerate our way there!
Cue “Hey Digimon,” a song that I
truly admire. After much deliberation, Willis and
Davis reach Willis' home. Still, TK
and Kari are not there.
One amusing thing about Willis' house
is that there is just a pair of pants hanging there.
I wonder what went on in all the time
he was alone with his Digimon.
I notice that there's only 18 minutes
left in the movie. Woo-hoo! I'm on the home
stretch!
There's a stock speech about
friendship and confidence, right before Antylamon finds
them and the final act begins.
And now the fact that they tried to
connect 3 different movies goes from “necessity- borne edits” to
“total clusterfuck.” On top of that, we go from a forest to a
hill when the
scene begins. Consistency? What's
that?
Antylamon changes to Lopmon. Another
Digimon Tamers reference I'm thankful for.
Then comes Digmon. Before there was
Gurren Lagann, there was Digmon. Hawkmon becomes
Halsemon. We then get a pretty damn
sloppy fight scene.
Davis claims it's over. Not with 13
minutes left, it isn't. Antylamon takes a new
form that looks like it joined the
Insane Clown Posse.
We then get another action scene. Why
is it that even in 2000, every action movie
had to have nonstop action at the end?
Then, the cavalry arrives as TK and
Kari come in with Angemon and Angewomon,
as they try to-I'm not kidding-extract
the virus from Antylamon.
Soon, a dark void comes over the
Digidestined, much like the one this movie left
audiences in. Then, they rip off The
Curious Case of Benjamin Button and have them
age backwards into melonhead toddlers.
Digi-Babies! We make our dreams come true!
Willis and Davis, now in jumpers and
velcro sneakers, get two boxes that let their
Digimon Digivolve into Magnamon and
Rapidmon. They go out blazing to stop Antylamon.
Antylamon dies because of the virus
being gone. Willis is distraught, but is told Digimon
never really die. I beg to differ,
this movie helped kill interest in Digimon.
TK and Kari go back to New York, and
Willis starts his journey back home. I don't
even need to check this time, there
are no mountain ranges in New York.
Willis then comes across a Digi-egg. It
hatches into a new Antylamon. We then close
on “All Star” by Smash Mouth, a
song so '90s it hurts. A song that was featured in close to
every movie in 1999 and the early
2000s.
Wow. With all the time I spent on this
recap, I kind of felt bad picking on this movie;
with all the fans it has. Still, it
had to be done.
“Digimon: The Movie” is not a
good movie, but it was made worse by Fox's attempts
to turn it into something it's not.
The “Digimon Adventure” segment fares best, since it
captures the imagination and whimsy of
the series it starts off. “Our War Game” is effectively
a period piece on how the internet we
love could have turned against us; but here we are
with a YouTube tab open at school or
work and FaceBook on our cell phones. The director
of that segment later remade it into
“Summer Wars,” which I recommend checking out.
As for “Hurricane Touchdown”-the
problem with it isn't its lack of hurricanes or
touchdowns. The problem is that it
just sucks. That was the segment that suffered the most
editing, but it isn't much better in
the Japanese version. You have your pick of an incoherent
segment or a boring one depending on
which version you watch.
I am not among the people that like
this movie. Maybe it was because I didn't see it
until I was a college freshman,
getting into the good version of “One Piece,” “Gurren Lagann,”
and “Death Note.” Even so, I doubt
I'd look back on it even with that in mind.
I also apologize at how late this
recap is. While my very first recap of “Love, Petalburg
Style” needed nine pages of notes
and around 30 screencaps, this one took 11 pages and close
to 100. So, I will do another anime
episode recap or two in June. Now if you'll excuse me,
I'm going back to Hayao Miyazaki
films.
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