Recap: Robotic Fish Gone Wild

Hello again, and since I had so much fun with my last Mega Man NT Warrior recap, I think I'll do another before I move onto something I haven't already covered. Last time: we had a villain so obvious that the only way you could make him moreso is with a big red R on his chest! We had Yai once again proving she is a textbook example of being rich in dollars, poor in sense! We had a school with fully integrated electronic lockdown when mine can't even manage a consistently reliable internet connection! Lan is still proving he is a far less interesting or likable hero than the titular Mega Man! Now, let's open up "Robotic Fish Gone Wild!: Yes, that is the title of this episode.

Once again, we get our intro, but at least the exposition is gone even though the noisy song and gaudy colors remain. If you're going to go this route, at least do it right. 


 We open on the treehouse command center of sorts, where Mega Man and Guts Man are in a training simulation. Even though I'm not a fan of the original game's box art of the guy who wears a bad Power Rangers costume shambling out of a binge of tequila and overpriced food at Rainforest Café; I am looking into buying Street Fighter X Tekken soon, as the PS3 version has that character as an exclusive, as well as my favorite Street Fighter character, Sakura; a Ryu fangirl with a similar play style to Ryu, but much faster and lighter for players like me; and a slick pair of red Converses to kick M. Bison and Heihachi Mishima alike into next week.

This game sucks! Now to steal some footage from a Japanese toku show and use it for my even cheaper and chintzier review show!

 We then cut to Lan and Dax on the outside, and Dax is losing. Naturally, Porkins' first reaction is to whine about it; like some middle-aged person reviewing games out of his house. 



Naturally, Lan boasts when he wins. His face when he does so is an improvement over the last episode's expressions having the emotional range of a plate of orange chicken; but it's still not as epic as the "just as planned" expression of a cunning young man and a shinigami dispensing his own unique brand of justice.

I haven't felt this much pep since the night I coldcocked Calvin Coolidge!

 Yai is even worse about Dax's 0-23 loss, outright insulting him. Porkins looks like he has some digestive trouble at Yai's bratty remark. I just have this feeling that he's going to grow up to be Mr. Plinkett.

So what if Future Diary is dark? My STOOL is dark! My doctor says so!

Then, it seems the security alarm is blaring. Now the treehouse appears to have turned into the starship Enterprise.
 

 

 

 

Shut off that damn noise!

 

 
Naturally, it's the fish merchant; and he's once again sporting an unconvincing accent while looking like a flesh-colored Muppet, and not a good one like Artenborough from Gurren Lagann or Dr. Mankanshou from Kill la Kill.

The Swedish Chef did a better job at faking a Foreign language!

Now, 5 episodes in, it turns out he has a name: Mesa. He is one of the primary reasons I chose this episode to recap; since is just so bizarre that he stood out even when everything was going to prat in the other episodes. Naturally, I'm going all out with the Swedish chef jokes this recap; and not just because I couldn't quite make the opening weekend of Muppets Most Wanted.


Naturally, Yai isn't impressed with his hokey moves, asking what he's doing there. Shut up, Yai. Mesa, please continue while I break out the standard telling off for the former trope namer for creator's pet.

And since I am finished, may I point out that- Shut up Wesley!

Of course, she does raise a valid point about a grown man sneaking around her compound, which is private property. ... Next!



Naturally, Mesa isn't happy that the kids are on net battles, and intends to whip them into shape.


Mesa then whisks them away to get them into shape. OK, this is getting unintentionally creepy; real fast. I hope the setting changes to something less awkward soon.

 He then takes everyone on a merry jog around the block.


 It's also implied Mesa is somewhat of a luddite. Some of the events he puts the kids through would be unnecessary for taking on Ivan Drago, much less an hour a day for healthy living.

Then, it devolves into a baseball game that even this universe's version of Dr. Wily would not go for. I do plan on recapping some better baseball-related episodes around the time of the World Series this year. Oregon doesn't have a professional MLB team either, so I'm backing the Seattle Mariners; and not just because of Wayne Ichiro.

Their Net Navis agree this whole thing isn't met with much enthusiasm from their masters.

So, now we get our usual intro of Dr. Wily's lair, looking more and more like the set of Aqua Teen Hunger Force each time it's shown.

Dr. Wily's Castle-South Jersey Shore

Dr. Wily, once again showing less sanity than the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future; berates his assailants and their Net Navis for their failures. If this is the best a mad scientist can manage for minions, he might as well have hired them from Craigslist.

Curmudgeon seeks hackers to terrorize small town and more corn!

The first one, Maddie, from my previous recap of "Traffic Light Chaos," tries to shift blame towards Mr. Match from "Mega Man! Plug In!" and Count Zap from the second episode, which I didn't find enough material to a recap for. She even looks like one of the diary holders in Future Diary; which I will be recapping officially later this year. Trust me when I say that while it may not hold as much contempt with me as Code Geass R2 (which I will also be getting back into); it still bears a world of unpleasant people and a potentially interesting premise muddled by a convoluted and nihilistic story. I apologize in advance for those who like it; but I shouldn't be handed a story like that and not be able to give a damn about who survives, much less "wins."

Mr. Match responds in a wholly unconvincing Scottish accent. Burt from Mary Poppins had a more convincing Cockney accent despite how much people give Dick van Dyke for it! 

Their plan is the robot aquarium. Now you know why this episode has a title that sounds like a skeevy video for techies with a fish fetish. Like the ones Troy McLure might rent since he's not allowed at the aquarium anymore.

I'd like to be under the sea in an octopus's garden in the shade!

Yes, there is a whole aquarium of robotic fish, like the kind they sell in the toy aisle at Target in the summertime. Somehow, I doubt even this would bring attendance up at Sea World.

The announcer brags about the waterproof and hack-proof security system, right as it gets hacked. Did they hire the same PR people as the guys in Jaws 3D?

Of course, this leads to the first animatronic-what else?-a shark to start breaking the glass of the tank. Perhaps you should have invested in some tempered glass for Bruce here! Allow me to point out an overused mockery of this situation. 

The shark still looks fake.

 Back with Mesa, everyone breaks with some fish cakes from the sea. I really wish I was at the coast right now.


 Then, Mesa decides to give everyone a briefing on fish facts.

He drones on and on like some lecture at Ezonoo Agricultural School. Lan actually looks justifiably bored as Mesa keeps chattering about tuna.

Even in Modesto, is there enough pot to make this happen?

Mega Man says these fish facts might be helpful. I know! A good knowledge of ichthyology and marine biology is useful for any budding holders of a Death Note. Vladimir Putin=Red tide poisoning

Yet, Lan says these fish facts make his brain hurt. This anime has similar effects. Hell, watching one of the following has similar effects: Code Geass R2, Future Diary, Haruhi Suzumiya, Bakugan, Inazuma Eleven, IGPX-I can do this all day, and I don't recommend doing it sober.

I can't remember what you said or what you threw at me! Please tell me!

Now, there are fish in the sky. Well, it finally happened: the marine life of the world is making an exodus because our planet is being demolished to make way for a space hypergate. Time to go have that head of Pabst I've been meaning to; and a big plate of onion rings!

There is panic in the streets at all the animatronics swimming through the air. Looks like the Aquatic Ruin zone is having some runoff.

A giant octopus even clamps onto a bus! I'm surprised none of them have found the part of Den Tech City that caters to their lust for hot sardine on mackerel action.

Everyone remarks at how they love what's going on. Yet, they're still not as hammy as the host on Smash TV even if they dress the part.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARHplTgCsVs



 The jumbotron is apparently making a coincidental broadcast about the fish animatronics on the attack as one swordfish jabs it when they get to World 3's involvement. I guess they're not fans of that trope.

Shut up! You're making us miss Black Lagoon!

We then get that shot they've been using in the opening since the show started. Apparently, the animators were really proud of it, even if the animation was never all that impressive, let alone serviceable. Definitely doesn't help that even the lower-tier animators on One Piece and Bleach can make better-looking episodes; let alone comparable animators given Pokémon or Yu-Gi-Oh to work on. It also contains some decidedly unimpressive voice acting from Brad Swaile despite the dire situation of fish.

This guy is bad. This is his first and last anime.

 Mesa then carves up a fish robot about to attack Lan. Lan deems it a fish filet. Lan, don't make bad jokes about the situation. That's my job.

Mesa then claims it's horrible, even if they are just robots. I know. Is this broadcast standards and practices approved?

I think this is a lot more whipping and stirring than the FCC likes to see before 10PM.

 Mega Man needs to plug in, as usual. My 3DS isn't this pushy, especially since I want to get some of the classic games on Virtual Console; but I'm not sure if the SD card that came with my 3DS will hold the first 6 as well as other titles I'm looking for.

Sweet crispy cream, we're only 10 minutes in. This anime is proving good for at least 2 things: padding entertainment centers, and killing brain cells. Time for some protest music while I buffer the stream again.

Mega Man and Glide enter the Cyber Matrix and marvel at all that is going on. Yet, this has still gone much more smoothly than my Gmail upgrade has.

Look at their faces. Could they look any less invested? I know I can.

 It gets worse: there are cyber-sharks in there. Unless it's Arlong or a Mega Sharpedo, I'm not interested.

There's more! He then plunges into a cyber-sea of viruses! This is just getting more and more nonsensical by the moment!

This Street Shark then decides to go after Mega Man! I hope Mighty No. 9 will capture the spirit of the franchise that Capcom is treating like garbage; despite once being the symbol of the company.

As World 3 admires their handiwork; it seems that Mr. Match appears to be suffering a stroke from a bad case of off-model animation. And I thought Captain N had bad case of giving video game characters aneurysms.

Let me tell you a story that took place back in 19-dickety-2! We had to use dickety, because the Kaiser took our word 20!

Glide remarks that Mega Man is in trouble; as it seems the viruses are creating the effect of a World Engine.

The next plan is to upload a battle chip, but they're still being chased by fish robots. This just going to get sillier over the course of the next half, so I'm just going to roll with it. 

 They manage to elude the shark when they stop moving, so it can't detect their presence. That still doesn't explain what happened to the other fish. Even that voodoo shark from Jaws The Revenge had more justification; and I will get more into the other part of that trope in a moment.

Then, the shark and the other robots come back. Too bad it's not Sky-Byte, I could use a robotic shark with talent.

Apparently, Mega Man is trapped in liquid that slows down his cyber response time. OK, Digimon had the excuse that the Digital World was a very loose interpretation of our world, which helped explain some of the more bizarre elements, especially regarding bodies of water. We have seldom been given a reason for how ludicrous these setups are getting; and the ones we are don't make sense. SF Debris, an influence of mine; used the novelization of Jaws The Revenge to bring up how the voodoo curse placed on the Brody family motivated the shark; but doesn't really explain the voodoo curse or how the shark could travel thousands of miles for one family, let alone know where that family was staying. I brought it up in one of my first Code Geass R2 recaps; and trust me when I say that my next ones will have more and more instances of that trope. Basically, it's when you have a plot hole in your story; but you leave it in and try to explain it, but the explanation is also a plot hole, even worse if it makes the existing plot hole bigger. In his paraphrased words: "that's what a voodoo shark is! When your story depends on something so stupid, it can only be explained by something equally moronic!"

Now the viruses have merged into one big virus. That's an accurate summation of this anime: it's one big virus.

 They are then cornered by a shark in an alley. Every time I think it's reached the peak of its stupidity, it just piles more on! And the facial animation just keeps getting worse! I guess I'm getting too used to the more elaborate stylings of Space Dandy and Redline; but some emotion beyond "open/close mouth" and "inconsistent eye shape" would be nice!

So, Mesa decides to distract the shark so Lan can help Mega Man. I wish Mesa got more focus. He is just leaps and bounds more interesting than Lan or any of the main kids, for that matter. He reminds me of the drifters on Arakawa Under the Bridge; another series I plan to indulge myself with for better animation and storytelling.

Smile, you son of a bitch!

Oh look! A rejected Pacific Rim kaiju design is blocking the entrance to the robot aquarium. I honestly didn't think I would be typing that sentence, but here I am!

Lan manages to squeeze past the mecha and get to the control room. He activates the Cyber Sword, which looks more like a Cyber Wiffle Bat.

It's almost as effective as one too, as the virus regenerates! My word is this getting tiresome! Quit dragging it out!

Lan witness a tidal wave virus.



Look, computer viruses cannot do these sort of things. This is making that episode of NCIS that turned hacking into madcap game of Minesweeper look like it was well thought-out! By jove, we only have 4 minutes left!

Then, he is presented with a chip for the electro-sword. How many contrivances can we have in one episode, let alone one season?! Now for a song that will suit the mood.

Mega Man has won, and World 3 once again is taking hemlock at their loss. This the spectacularly bad stuff the recaps I love typing are made of. 

I HATE SAUERKRAUT!

The Net Navi looking in on them was Shark Man; and despite his words, his allegiances seem questionable at best. I just don't trust a being that looks like a Gible on crack.

Lan has stopped the threat, and now the task falls to reprogram the rogue fish animatronics and haul them back to the aquarium. Dax makes an offhand statement of the octopus looking good in his room. I may have the storage space for the Titan Metroplex, but $125 is a bit much, even for a figure in such demand for 30 years of Transformers.

Lan owes his success to the jellyfish fact of them being 90% water. I forgot to mention that from before.

We even get the everybody laughs ending because of Mesa's eccentricity.

Mesa, was, of course, the man who gave Lan the battle chip. I can't say I'm glad with him indulging Lan despite trying to get him out and about before, but I am glad this episode is over with for now.



"Robotic Fish Gone Wild", much like the series itself, is so bad that it's absolutely hilarious. Despite not being familiar with the Battle Network games; the setup the anime presents is akin to The Room or Plan 9 From Outer Space in terms of how you don't want to look, yet you can't look away because it's such a massively entertaining trainwreck. The animation, voice acting and story have the utmost badness that even though I may technically not like it; I did manage to get some good material out of it, and I do plan on revisiting it again in the future; but it will have to be another episode like this. One that proves how computer viruses can do all these things when I can barely get an internet connection in an open room. Next time is my first recap of one of the key standouts of the fall 2013 anime season. My first recap of Studio Trigger's smash hit, Kill la Kill!

Recap: Count to Three

Hello again. This year has been particularly plagued by technical problems; chiefly pertaining to my internet connection; that have been keeping me from getting recaps done. My primary places I use the web are being upgraded, so that should help. Still, living in the area that I do and having such a lousy web connection are not helpful for me. So, I decided for my next recap that I would revisit an anime that is rife with technical problems.

That's right, it's time to revisit Den Tech City; a place that would make Google Plus seem like it was well thought out in design. Mega Man NT Warrior is still proving to be quite a goldmine for recaps. In our last episode: we had a slightly more plausible situation of traffic lights being hacked and a new character that could compete with Honey Boo Boo in terms of utter vapidity and spoiled behavior. She's still proving to be a royal pain even when she doesn't have bladder problems. So, let's open up "Count to Three." I only wish that the Count could help make this anime better, as it's still a prime example of Mega Man's perpetual unluckiness in animation.

We get our usual intro of Lan comparing the year 200X to living in a video game. With all the technical problems that time period has, he must be on Xbox One. Also,  Mega Man being in the new Super Smash Bros. means he will be joining my regular rotation in an instant. (As in, not Street Fighter X Tekken using the version from the original box art that looks like a guy who didn't have money for the good Power Rangers costumes shambling in front of a theme park attraction that appears to have been designed by Roger Dean, who painted the album covers for Yes). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Tdu4uKSZ3M&feature=kp


Then, we get our usual noisy, ugly, neon-filled theme song. I instead offer the multiple-Emmy award winning Daft Punk, with their hit single "Get Lucky".

 We open on a Net Battle, where Number Man is stalking another battler for rare battle chips. You'll have to forgive me for not remembering the opponent's name; I've put a lot more energy into studying for finals than I have this. 

Number Man then rolls the dice to attack his opponent, and apparently the power is linked to the number on the dice. So, he just used the Skull Dice card. Yet; I don't find his master as entertaining as Joey Wheeler; for many reasons which I'm about to get into.

We see the controller of the Net Navi; with the reflection of the Battle Chip on his glasses. This is supposed to be intimidating. I personally think bidding on scalped Wii U systems on eBay would be more entertaining to watch.

A successful snipe bid! Now onto that Mega Man Zero Figuarts!

We then cut to Lan whining about being late to school yet again. While I'm not a big fan of being late either; I'm even less a fan of Lan behaving this way. Mega Man even points out that it's his fault for Net Battling. I can still make the bus even if I get minimal amounts of rest for training my backups in Pokémon X and Y. Sometimes, I don't end up sleeping at all. I personally think Lan is worse at multitasking than Jaden Yuki, and he almost missed his duel exam because of staying up till 4AM watching videos on how to build a pancake helicopter.

 Naturally, he crashes into our villain and knocks over all his battle chips. I know this is written with a younger audience in mind; but I think even children have some sense of cohesive storytelling.

I had to sell a lot of Spider-Man comics and my mint condition USS Voyager to pay for these!

The villain berates Lan further for messing up the battle chips, given their value for rare ones. Well, with yet another eBay check, I can confirm that most of them go for about $5 a pop  for a lot, and there are seldom listings classified as uncommon, let alone rare. I can buy several other things I would be happier with for that money.

Oh look! It's not often you see the stupidest thing you've ever seen!

Of course, the teacher with the Princess Leia hair buns berates Lan for being late almost every day.

The class even indulges in the obligatory Charlie Brown laughter at Lan. I am so glad that Light Yagami put more stock in his education as well as his conquest. 

Deserved.

The guest speaker is also late, and it's a villain that is every bit as obvious as this universe's rendition of Dr. Wily as the Monarch from Venture Brothers.

The man, Mr. Higgsby, is assigned to give a lecture on computer viruses. Apart from how he dresses like a schlubby Agent Smith; I must once again reiterate that while learning how to protect against computer viruses is important; these kids are in elementary school. While I certainly knew about computer viruses then, I didn't actively take part in preventing their damage till I came of age and had a computer of my own. Given how much trouble Den Tech City gets into despite this, I put more stock in the Tandy Computer Wiz Kids. 

Anyway, Mr. Higgs Boson gives his lecture; which then devolves into a rant about rare battle chips and their power. This is downright daffy. Apart from being a more blatant product plug than Cheat Commandos, this is one instance where the scary shiny glasses ends up being unintentionally hilarious.http://www.homestarrunner.com/cheatcommando.html

Buy all our playsets and toys!

Seriously, the rant just gets more and more silly by the moment. It's supposed to be intimidating. I personally think Mr. Diggersby here looks about as threatening as Justin Bieber's mugshot.

I will mock his sad attempts at rebelliousness, but I will not justify his music.

The ranting attracts the attention of the gardener; who appears to have gotten lost on the way to the Leaf Village. Once again, it's not that I'm not trying to learn her name; it's just that if it's not said, I can't. Therefore, she will be referred to as the great prophet Whatsername until further notice. I will be looking her up and any other information pertaining to this series on Mega Man wiki for future recaps.

We cut to Yai's backyard, and she has a treehouse for everyone to hang out in. Even if the character leaves much to be desired; I think every child should have a treehouse of some kind.

Even though the place has a gourmet kitchen with a stocked fridge and range, it takes more to impress Dax than that. And I thought Porkins would like having a supply of Hot Pockets and Mountain Dew Voltage for marathons of Titanfall. (Note: Now that Titanfall has been released, that is a title I would consider getting an Xbox One for apart from Killer Instinct being packed in, with the DLC for my favorite characters out. The idea of a mecha game to fill the void left by Steel Battalion and Mech Warrior is thrilling to me, and even though Xbox Live is required; I gather the amount of online features and ease of use with the service is well worth the $60 a year.).

As if that's not enough, she presses a button that essentially turns the place into their own little command center. Floating head in a time warp and eccentric robot helper not included.


It does, however, have a holodeck of sorts to communicate with Mega Man, Guts Man, and the other Net Navis. While I am skeptical of the idea of virtual reality being resurrected in the form of the Oculus Rift; I would be ecstatic if there was a holodeck in our lifetime like many people are trying to work on. I just hope they fix those problems with the simulations going awry.

Glide is in control of the system as a sort of battle butler; keeping watch over everything. Personally, I'd feel safer with JARVIS in control. At least he's programmed with a sense of levity to match his service of genius billionaire playboy philanthropist Tony Stark. I plan to watch more of the Iron Man anime; but first I have one more recap I want to do of this before I decide on what to do next.

So, Yai and Lan decide to have a Net Battle to practice with some new battle chips; which of course, her dad bought for her. Somehow, I don't think Ayano Tech is appropriating their resources that well, as I shall explain further in the recap.

Number Man then makes a crack in the system as May Lu and Dax plug in. The background is apparently a bunch of sunflower seeds amongst a void of splattered paint. To think people say Bleach has lousy background design.

Ceiling Number Man is watching you plug in.

Yet, Mr. Jigglypuff still has his sights on the rare Battle Chips, which are in Yai's hands. I wonder what else he does to get those. Sell information to other hackers outside his apartment's doorstep?


The next day, Mr. Boss Hog goes to the homeroom teacher with the Leia buns about a more long-term stay. The faculty on Nichijou wasn't this dysfunctional; and I think I will need to watch more of that before I do the next recap of this.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Lan is once again late, this time to help with the school paper. Another case of how this anime and this iteration of Mega Man, while quite prescient about the idea of online gaming (the Net Navis seem reminiscent of Nintendo's Miis or Microsoft's Avatars); they were definitely caught by surprise of the rise of digital file transfers. Nowadays, Lan could write his contribution up in Open Office and the school would probably just edit any grammatical errors before going to press. Of course; he passes by the fish merchant; who chastises Lan for his forgetfulness that could be remedied with more fish. Yet, I think even the Swedish Chef was more convincing in his recipes and advice.


 

Just as well, as Dax, May Lu, Yai, and the teacher are locked in the classroom by Number Man. Another reason why I don't think making everything computer-connected is a good idea: what sane person would make all the doors and windows in an entire school campus electronic? My school email is so badly programmed that I ask my teachers to contact me on my personal email. When it became required for wi-fi login, the backlash was immediate and immense throughout the campus; not helped by Google Plus also being needed. Short of plugging your email into the base of your spine; I defy any way for Google to get more invasive.
 

 

 

The animation is still utterly abysmal for its time; now adding the cardinal sin of the facial expressions matching the voice acting in terms of dull surprise.

DULL SURPRISE!

When Dax tries to object to being held hostage, Number Man then activates the sprinklers. Now that's just wasteful. What if there was another fire in an electric range?

Yai is then challenged to a Net Battle for her Battle Chips. She is in as much disbelief as I am right now.

Layla! Darling, won't you ease my worried mind?

Even when she objects, Number Man just continues prattling on like the M5 Titan on valium.

This unit must survive.

Despite Yai's lack of battle experience, she is confident in her battle chips, as well as her expensive security system's reliability. That's interesting, because security software can be had that's just as good if not better for nothing; as most antivirus providers offer free version of their software, and malware and phishing protection come standard on most browsers nowadays. This is just becoming a bigger unintentional period piece with each episode, isn't it?

Yai just continues to act more and more indignant about the situation. Well, I just hope she doesn't have to use the bathroom like last time.

Shirley Temple, she is not.

She activates the cyber sword on Glide to lead.

Not as clumsy or random as a blaster, an elegant weapon of a more civilized age.

Naturally, she played right into Number Man's hands. Number Man then rolls his die again.

A two?! Well, at least your attack is halved!

Mega Man then enters the space to take on Number Man.

Mr. Biggles then chastises Mega Man and Lan for interfering, saying the test was for Yai alone. Then, why did you trap everyone in the room? For that matter, what's going on with the other students and faculty you trapped in their classrooms?

It turns out he's blocked Mega Man with a firewall, and the passwords are tied to-are you ready for this? The numbers of key items around the school.

I mean, apart from putting the school security in something that cryptic; the idea is downright nonsensical! What school administration would make their passwords like that? I know a password is meant to be something someone wouldn't be able to guess right away; but the school should still be able to have access with passwords that make sense from a security standpoint!

The first password is the number of doves in the school birdcage. ... Apart from that being an asinine choice for a password in itself, of course, the teacher doesn't know it.

Then, Mr. Piggly-Wiggly gives a terrible random Elvis impression. Better ones include Etemon in Digimon Adventure, Starmon in Digimon Fusion; and my personal favorite, the eponymous Bobo-bo Bobobo-bo, voiced by none other than RIchard Epcar, best known outside anime voice acting as Goldar from Power Rangers.

Lan then tries to count the doves, and loses count once they fly. ... Six! There are six doves in the cage! This isn't just my bad screencap, the shot is actually framed this way! It is a wonder how Brad Swaile once voiced a kid who can barely count to six before he became a man who is by far one of the most cunning villain protagonists in anime, and quite possibly in fiction!

The next password is tied to the amount of flowers planted on the school grounds. I could be watching Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood right now instead of this. I think I will indulge myself with that after I'm done, before I tackle the next one. I may need to rethink my plans for my next choice, as this situation is melting my brain.

With a roll of the dice at three; Glide is down. This is supposed to be intense, but I think this is as cheesy as a Starship video. 

Lan continues to count the flowers until he has a nervous breakdown. It is here I must point out that I have a low tolerance for characters who complain constantly when they are in a situation that isn't sound justification for their angst. There is no inherent reason for Lan to behave like this when he has a home and friends that care for him very much. Having been used to heroes with way more to overcome in their backgrounds (Shinji Ikari, Simon Giha, and now Ryuko Matoi; among others); Lan will receive no sympathy from me. Characters I witness have to earn it, and they can't do that without any redeeming qualities to endear them to the audience.

Then, the gardener Whatsername just gives him the number of flowers. Was this so hard? Perhaps you could have also asked the groundskeeper, if the school has one, about the right number of doves! Whatever the case, Lan now has what he needs to crack the firewalls and crack Number Man.

Now, Mega Man has Number Man at his blade, ready to force him to log out.

Angel, angel, what have I done? I've faced the quakes, the winds, the fire, I've conquered country crown and throne, why can't I cross this river?

The teacher then berates Mr. Bixby for what he's done, and says he could easily be arrested for this. Last I checked, computer-related crimes were federal offenses, meaning he'd probably get a very nice white-collar setup like the guys that crashed Enron.

Then, he starts flashing back to his first battle chip that he had as a child. Once again, you'll have to forgive me for my unfamiliarity with the Battle Network series. Most of my fandom comes from the classic series, the X series, and the Zero series; so I can't really work up a connection with this, even if I had seen it when I was younger.

Yet, he just starts pleading to be forgiven for his cyberterrorism. I think he's about as valid as Kimura from Azumanga Daioh, and he's INTENTIONALLY funny!

 Naturally we end back where we started, with Lan crashing into Mr. Wigglytuff at school. I know stock footage tends to be reused quite a bit, but it still proves how incredibly lacking the animation was compared to its contemporaries. Even though it made use of the same animation technology as its companions on Kids WB at the time, whereas Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh managed to take the wares given to them and bring all the locations and creatures of their franchises to life; Mega Man NT Warrior turned its accompanying games very sleek locations and characters into a garish mess that moved notably worse than their game representations.

He has opened a chip shop, as displayed in the same arial font I type with on my blog. Now I'm certain that he's probably going to start laundering money out of there.

To put the final icing on this turd, Mega Man then informs Lan that it's Saturday. Time to go back home, take off your shoes, make yourself something to eat; and go watch a better anime!



"Count to Three" is so hilariously bad that it continues the trend set by Mega Man NT Warrior as how it's a bigger technological trainwreck than Windows Vista! Especially given how the internet has not only made the anime fandom much more prominent in their like of the medium and ease of giving it good-natured ribbings in the tradition of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Riffrax. If only Mr. Iggy Koopa knew his scheme would amount to nothing in 12 years, since the internet has become enraptured with such inexplicably popular fads such as "What Does the Fox Say" and Pokémon Twitch; both things people won't shut up about no matter how many times I tell them I don't give a care! Next time is another NT Warrior recap, that's even sillier! Don't miss it!