Recap: Robotic Fish Gone Wild

Hello again, and since I had so much fun with my last Mega Man NT Warrior recap, I think I'll do another before I move onto something I haven't already covered. Last time: we had a villain so obvious that the only way you could make him moreso is with a big red R on his chest! We had Yai once again proving she is a textbook example of being rich in dollars, poor in sense! We had a school with fully integrated electronic lockdown when mine can't even manage a consistently reliable internet connection! Lan is still proving he is a far less interesting or likable hero than the titular Mega Man! Now, let's open up "Robotic Fish Gone Wild!: Yes, that is the title of this episode.

Once again, we get our intro, but at least the exposition is gone even though the noisy song and gaudy colors remain. If you're going to go this route, at least do it right. 


 We open on the treehouse command center of sorts, where Mega Man and Guts Man are in a training simulation. Even though I'm not a fan of the original game's box art of the guy who wears a bad Power Rangers costume shambling out of a binge of tequila and overpriced food at Rainforest Café; I am looking into buying Street Fighter X Tekken soon, as the PS3 version has that character as an exclusive, as well as my favorite Street Fighter character, Sakura; a Ryu fangirl with a similar play style to Ryu, but much faster and lighter for players like me; and a slick pair of red Converses to kick M. Bison and Heihachi Mishima alike into next week.

This game sucks! Now to steal some footage from a Japanese toku show and use it for my even cheaper and chintzier review show!

 We then cut to Lan and Dax on the outside, and Dax is losing. Naturally, Porkins' first reaction is to whine about it; like some middle-aged person reviewing games out of his house. 



Naturally, Lan boasts when he wins. His face when he does so is an improvement over the last episode's expressions having the emotional range of a plate of orange chicken; but it's still not as epic as the "just as planned" expression of a cunning young man and a shinigami dispensing his own unique brand of justice.

I haven't felt this much pep since the night I coldcocked Calvin Coolidge!

 Yai is even worse about Dax's 0-23 loss, outright insulting him. Porkins looks like he has some digestive trouble at Yai's bratty remark. I just have this feeling that he's going to grow up to be Mr. Plinkett.

So what if Future Diary is dark? My STOOL is dark! My doctor says so!

Then, it seems the security alarm is blaring. Now the treehouse appears to have turned into the starship Enterprise.
 

 

 

 

Shut off that damn noise!

 

 
Naturally, it's the fish merchant; and he's once again sporting an unconvincing accent while looking like a flesh-colored Muppet, and not a good one like Artenborough from Gurren Lagann or Dr. Mankanshou from Kill la Kill.

The Swedish Chef did a better job at faking a Foreign language!

Now, 5 episodes in, it turns out he has a name: Mesa. He is one of the primary reasons I chose this episode to recap; since is just so bizarre that he stood out even when everything was going to prat in the other episodes. Naturally, I'm going all out with the Swedish chef jokes this recap; and not just because I couldn't quite make the opening weekend of Muppets Most Wanted.


Naturally, Yai isn't impressed with his hokey moves, asking what he's doing there. Shut up, Yai. Mesa, please continue while I break out the standard telling off for the former trope namer for creator's pet.

And since I am finished, may I point out that- Shut up Wesley!

Of course, she does raise a valid point about a grown man sneaking around her compound, which is private property. ... Next!



Naturally, Mesa isn't happy that the kids are on net battles, and intends to whip them into shape.


Mesa then whisks them away to get them into shape. OK, this is getting unintentionally creepy; real fast. I hope the setting changes to something less awkward soon.

 He then takes everyone on a merry jog around the block.


 It's also implied Mesa is somewhat of a luddite. Some of the events he puts the kids through would be unnecessary for taking on Ivan Drago, much less an hour a day for healthy living.

Then, it devolves into a baseball game that even this universe's version of Dr. Wily would not go for. I do plan on recapping some better baseball-related episodes around the time of the World Series this year. Oregon doesn't have a professional MLB team either, so I'm backing the Seattle Mariners; and not just because of Wayne Ichiro.

Their Net Navis agree this whole thing isn't met with much enthusiasm from their masters.

So, now we get our usual intro of Dr. Wily's lair, looking more and more like the set of Aqua Teen Hunger Force each time it's shown.

Dr. Wily's Castle-South Jersey Shore

Dr. Wily, once again showing less sanity than the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future; berates his assailants and their Net Navis for their failures. If this is the best a mad scientist can manage for minions, he might as well have hired them from Craigslist.

Curmudgeon seeks hackers to terrorize small town and more corn!

The first one, Maddie, from my previous recap of "Traffic Light Chaos," tries to shift blame towards Mr. Match from "Mega Man! Plug In!" and Count Zap from the second episode, which I didn't find enough material to a recap for. She even looks like one of the diary holders in Future Diary; which I will be recapping officially later this year. Trust me when I say that while it may not hold as much contempt with me as Code Geass R2 (which I will also be getting back into); it still bears a world of unpleasant people and a potentially interesting premise muddled by a convoluted and nihilistic story. I apologize in advance for those who like it; but I shouldn't be handed a story like that and not be able to give a damn about who survives, much less "wins."

Mr. Match responds in a wholly unconvincing Scottish accent. Burt from Mary Poppins had a more convincing Cockney accent despite how much people give Dick van Dyke for it! 

Their plan is the robot aquarium. Now you know why this episode has a title that sounds like a skeevy video for techies with a fish fetish. Like the ones Troy McLure might rent since he's not allowed at the aquarium anymore.

I'd like to be under the sea in an octopus's garden in the shade!

Yes, there is a whole aquarium of robotic fish, like the kind they sell in the toy aisle at Target in the summertime. Somehow, I doubt even this would bring attendance up at Sea World.

The announcer brags about the waterproof and hack-proof security system, right as it gets hacked. Did they hire the same PR people as the guys in Jaws 3D?

Of course, this leads to the first animatronic-what else?-a shark to start breaking the glass of the tank. Perhaps you should have invested in some tempered glass for Bruce here! Allow me to point out an overused mockery of this situation. 

The shark still looks fake.

 Back with Mesa, everyone breaks with some fish cakes from the sea. I really wish I was at the coast right now.


 Then, Mesa decides to give everyone a briefing on fish facts.

He drones on and on like some lecture at Ezonoo Agricultural School. Lan actually looks justifiably bored as Mesa keeps chattering about tuna.

Even in Modesto, is there enough pot to make this happen?

Mega Man says these fish facts might be helpful. I know! A good knowledge of ichthyology and marine biology is useful for any budding holders of a Death Note. Vladimir Putin=Red tide poisoning

Yet, Lan says these fish facts make his brain hurt. This anime has similar effects. Hell, watching one of the following has similar effects: Code Geass R2, Future Diary, Haruhi Suzumiya, Bakugan, Inazuma Eleven, IGPX-I can do this all day, and I don't recommend doing it sober.

I can't remember what you said or what you threw at me! Please tell me!

Now, there are fish in the sky. Well, it finally happened: the marine life of the world is making an exodus because our planet is being demolished to make way for a space hypergate. Time to go have that head of Pabst I've been meaning to; and a big plate of onion rings!

There is panic in the streets at all the animatronics swimming through the air. Looks like the Aquatic Ruin zone is having some runoff.

A giant octopus even clamps onto a bus! I'm surprised none of them have found the part of Den Tech City that caters to their lust for hot sardine on mackerel action.

Everyone remarks at how they love what's going on. Yet, they're still not as hammy as the host on Smash TV even if they dress the part.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARHplTgCsVs



 The jumbotron is apparently making a coincidental broadcast about the fish animatronics on the attack as one swordfish jabs it when they get to World 3's involvement. I guess they're not fans of that trope.

Shut up! You're making us miss Black Lagoon!

We then get that shot they've been using in the opening since the show started. Apparently, the animators were really proud of it, even if the animation was never all that impressive, let alone serviceable. Definitely doesn't help that even the lower-tier animators on One Piece and Bleach can make better-looking episodes; let alone comparable animators given Pokémon or Yu-Gi-Oh to work on. It also contains some decidedly unimpressive voice acting from Brad Swaile despite the dire situation of fish.

This guy is bad. This is his first and last anime.

 Mesa then carves up a fish robot about to attack Lan. Lan deems it a fish filet. Lan, don't make bad jokes about the situation. That's my job.

Mesa then claims it's horrible, even if they are just robots. I know. Is this broadcast standards and practices approved?

I think this is a lot more whipping and stirring than the FCC likes to see before 10PM.

 Mega Man needs to plug in, as usual. My 3DS isn't this pushy, especially since I want to get some of the classic games on Virtual Console; but I'm not sure if the SD card that came with my 3DS will hold the first 6 as well as other titles I'm looking for.

Sweet crispy cream, we're only 10 minutes in. This anime is proving good for at least 2 things: padding entertainment centers, and killing brain cells. Time for some protest music while I buffer the stream again.

Mega Man and Glide enter the Cyber Matrix and marvel at all that is going on. Yet, this has still gone much more smoothly than my Gmail upgrade has.

Look at their faces. Could they look any less invested? I know I can.

 It gets worse: there are cyber-sharks in there. Unless it's Arlong or a Mega Sharpedo, I'm not interested.

There's more! He then plunges into a cyber-sea of viruses! This is just getting more and more nonsensical by the moment!

This Street Shark then decides to go after Mega Man! I hope Mighty No. 9 will capture the spirit of the franchise that Capcom is treating like garbage; despite once being the symbol of the company.

As World 3 admires their handiwork; it seems that Mr. Match appears to be suffering a stroke from a bad case of off-model animation. And I thought Captain N had bad case of giving video game characters aneurysms.

Let me tell you a story that took place back in 19-dickety-2! We had to use dickety, because the Kaiser took our word 20!

Glide remarks that Mega Man is in trouble; as it seems the viruses are creating the effect of a World Engine.

The next plan is to upload a battle chip, but they're still being chased by fish robots. This just going to get sillier over the course of the next half, so I'm just going to roll with it. 

 They manage to elude the shark when they stop moving, so it can't detect their presence. That still doesn't explain what happened to the other fish. Even that voodoo shark from Jaws The Revenge had more justification; and I will get more into the other part of that trope in a moment.

Then, the shark and the other robots come back. Too bad it's not Sky-Byte, I could use a robotic shark with talent.

Apparently, Mega Man is trapped in liquid that slows down his cyber response time. OK, Digimon had the excuse that the Digital World was a very loose interpretation of our world, which helped explain some of the more bizarre elements, especially regarding bodies of water. We have seldom been given a reason for how ludicrous these setups are getting; and the ones we are don't make sense. SF Debris, an influence of mine; used the novelization of Jaws The Revenge to bring up how the voodoo curse placed on the Brody family motivated the shark; but doesn't really explain the voodoo curse or how the shark could travel thousands of miles for one family, let alone know where that family was staying. I brought it up in one of my first Code Geass R2 recaps; and trust me when I say that my next ones will have more and more instances of that trope. Basically, it's when you have a plot hole in your story; but you leave it in and try to explain it, but the explanation is also a plot hole, even worse if it makes the existing plot hole bigger. In his paraphrased words: "that's what a voodoo shark is! When your story depends on something so stupid, it can only be explained by something equally moronic!"

Now the viruses have merged into one big virus. That's an accurate summation of this anime: it's one big virus.

 They are then cornered by a shark in an alley. Every time I think it's reached the peak of its stupidity, it just piles more on! And the facial animation just keeps getting worse! I guess I'm getting too used to the more elaborate stylings of Space Dandy and Redline; but some emotion beyond "open/close mouth" and "inconsistent eye shape" would be nice!

So, Mesa decides to distract the shark so Lan can help Mega Man. I wish Mesa got more focus. He is just leaps and bounds more interesting than Lan or any of the main kids, for that matter. He reminds me of the drifters on Arakawa Under the Bridge; another series I plan to indulge myself with for better animation and storytelling.

Smile, you son of a bitch!

Oh look! A rejected Pacific Rim kaiju design is blocking the entrance to the robot aquarium. I honestly didn't think I would be typing that sentence, but here I am!

Lan manages to squeeze past the mecha and get to the control room. He activates the Cyber Sword, which looks more like a Cyber Wiffle Bat.

It's almost as effective as one too, as the virus regenerates! My word is this getting tiresome! Quit dragging it out!

Lan witness a tidal wave virus.



Look, computer viruses cannot do these sort of things. This is making that episode of NCIS that turned hacking into madcap game of Minesweeper look like it was well thought-out! By jove, we only have 4 minutes left!

Then, he is presented with a chip for the electro-sword. How many contrivances can we have in one episode, let alone one season?! Now for a song that will suit the mood.

Mega Man has won, and World 3 once again is taking hemlock at their loss. This the spectacularly bad stuff the recaps I love typing are made of. 

I HATE SAUERKRAUT!

The Net Navi looking in on them was Shark Man; and despite his words, his allegiances seem questionable at best. I just don't trust a being that looks like a Gible on crack.

Lan has stopped the threat, and now the task falls to reprogram the rogue fish animatronics and haul them back to the aquarium. Dax makes an offhand statement of the octopus looking good in his room. I may have the storage space for the Titan Metroplex, but $125 is a bit much, even for a figure in such demand for 30 years of Transformers.

Lan owes his success to the jellyfish fact of them being 90% water. I forgot to mention that from before.

We even get the everybody laughs ending because of Mesa's eccentricity.

Mesa, was, of course, the man who gave Lan the battle chip. I can't say I'm glad with him indulging Lan despite trying to get him out and about before, but I am glad this episode is over with for now.



"Robotic Fish Gone Wild", much like the series itself, is so bad that it's absolutely hilarious. Despite not being familiar with the Battle Network games; the setup the anime presents is akin to The Room or Plan 9 From Outer Space in terms of how you don't want to look, yet you can't look away because it's such a massively entertaining trainwreck. The animation, voice acting and story have the utmost badness that even though I may technically not like it; I did manage to get some good material out of it, and I do plan on revisiting it again in the future; but it will have to be another episode like this. One that proves how computer viruses can do all these things when I can barely get an internet connection in an open room. Next time is my first recap of one of the key standouts of the fall 2013 anime season. My first recap of Studio Trigger's smash hit, Kill la Kill!