A Halloween Riff of General Goings-On and Anime Viewing.

Hello again. To my dismay, I have not been able to get as much work done on my Digimon recap as I'd liked; due to me having come down with flu-like symptoms late last Thursday morning, despite being immunized a week prior. While they have for the most part dissipated; I still have an achy, stuffy head and fatigue. So, I will have to push the recap back to November in addition to some other stuff I want to work on then.

In the meantime; I thought I would give you a riff of my goings-on and anime viewing this Halloween.

Even though my family got cable internet since moving into our new home; my connection hasn't always been the best, to my dismay. On top of that, I have been incredibly busy with Spanish class; which leaves little room for writing as much as I would like to.


Even so; I have been enjoying what I've been watching for the most part, as well as keeping up my usual pattern of alternating between recaps of works I dislike and ones I do since starting the blog in 2012.

There will be many things to view tonight as a result of it being Halloween night. I am working on Thriller Bark in One Piece; which I intend to binge-watch as much as I can before the night is over. It helps that the spooky atmosphere and gothic artwork is perfect for it; not to mention how awesome Brook is. Don't let his perverted nature fool you- his tragic backstory will easily make you see that through all the requests to see the female Straw Hats' underpants; he's a very loyal crewmate and a good friend (the arc eventually leads to him joining).

An admitted guilty pleasure I've been into is High School of the Dead. Despite the rampant fan service as well as some unpleasantness regarding one of the voice actors (not helped by the fact that his role as a decidedly unsavory villain); it manages to actually provide a good look at what might happen if a zombie apocalypse occurred and a bunch of teenagers had to deal with it, based only on what they saw in horror movies and violent video games. Even though I expected an obese character to be made a meal of first; said character is surprisingly adept with both a nail gun and a real gun.

Of course, one of the 2015 series I've been most enthusiastic about is Seraph of the End; which now has a second season underway as I type this. This gothic, post-apocalyptic vampire story manages to not only faithfully adapt the breakout manga series; it also puts its own spin on it in a way that manages to keep me guessing throughout each episode. It also helps the animation is very high-quality; thanks to being handled by the folks behind the massive smash of Attack on Titan (which has proven just as popular here as it has been in Japan). I'm at the point in the first season where the conflict is getting more and more intense; further compounded by the protagonist Yuichi having to face his adoptive brother Mikela in battle after he's become a vampire.

Last but not least; is another bit regarding Pokémon. The XY and Z incarnation began in Japan this past Thursday with a 1-hour premiere consisting of The Strongest Mega Evolution Act IV and the start of XYZ itself. I am personally not a fan of Act IV; but I found the first episode of XYZ to be a solid pilot even though I didn't like it as much as the 1-hour pilot of XY itself. I will get more into that in another post; but for now, I just thought I'd give you something before the month is out.

My Digimon recap will be completed and posted in November along with other material. For now; I plan on going to a special showing of Ghostbusters tonight to celebrate Halloween in my Jedi costume, so I can see how people react for when Star Wars: The Force Awakens opens in December. See you, space cowboy!

Let's Watch Yo-Kai Watch Tank in Ratings! Also, Demo first impressions.

I know that I'm still working on my Digimon recap for my Halloween theme (I'm about halfway done taking screencaps of the episode I chose); but I felt this could use a post.

I have been long doubtful about the prospects of the Yo-Kai Watch franchise in the US; and it seems that my skepticism was justified.

Over the course of the weeklong premiere on Disney XD; the anime slowly lost ratings with each succeeding day. The Monday timeslot started at 300,000 viewers; then gradually decreased to 100,000 by Friday.

The following week; the promised Monday airing was bumped to Tuesday in favor of a Gravity Falls marathon leading up to a key episode involving Dipper and Mabel's 13th birthdays. Unfortunately still; that airdate also coincided with early presidential debates; causing the week-over-week ratings to drop to 250,000.

While the fanbase initially expressed hope that things would improve; the Monday of the 19th had a further drop to a paltry 115,000. Even the much-derided grossout show Pickle and Peanut outdrew them; to the point where talk of removing the show from the schedule before the initial order finishes has started.

Additionally, the game is still on track to launch against Call of Duty: Black Ops III; and the demo went live on Nintendo 3DS eShop yesterday. It's here I'm doing a deviation from my usual coverage on this blog to address it.

I was hoping that the game would impress me the way the anime failed to; given how much praise has been lavished on it. No such luck. While the presentation is smooth and the mechanics are fluid; they're also a might too simplistic for me.

Very rarely did I lose any Yo-Kai battles; barring the last one with Dismerella before the demo ends. With the exception of the occasional minigame or quicktime event; the combat is always on autopilot in a similar manner to the gambit system in newer Final Fantasy games. The matchups are also simpler than even early Pokémon games; doing away with elemental type balances (water beats fire, fire beats grass, grass beats water; and so on, and so forth) in favor of character attributes such as Charming or Mysterious.

Contrast this with other RPGs such as Level-5's own Ni No Kuni; as well as the demo of OR/AS thoroughly acclimating to the newer mechanics and providing free bonuses for the full game. In Persona 4: The Golden, the combat consists of a unique blend of melee and magic to fight the demons in town. The World Ends With You makes use of both screens of the system as well as the buttons to fight the Noise in a quirky yet dark use of the setting in the Shibuya district of Tokyo.

Worst of all; was not only the fact that I was forced to play as Nate (who the anime ruined for me) instead of the more level-headed Katie, but the game largely kills any sense of puzzles or problem solving by outright telling you every action you need to take in order to progress. Suffice to say; any chance of me buying the game at full retail price has officially dropped to zero.

Granted, it may not have been bad; but it certainly wasn't the spectacular game everyone else has hailed it as. It might even prove a good novelty on eShop at a reduced price; but I don't see many people rushing out on launch day or preordering/preloading the game when it's coming out against a murderer's row of AAA titles from established franchises. Even if I were to remove Super Mystery Dungeon from the equation (as well as the fact that a new mainline Pokémon game or news of thereof has been conspicuous by its absence); it's still coming out in the wake of Star Wars Battlefront, Guitar Hero Live, Rock Band 4; Halo 5: Guardians, and Zelda: Triforce Heroes.

I can't be certain how the game will do as someone who's not a fan of the series; but it doesn't take a fan to realize things aren't looking too good right now. While their enthusiasm is admirable; I am not making this post to be mean right now. I'm doing it to be realistic. I am taking things as they are; not as the fans want them to be. With that on the table, it's clear that this "Yokai invasion" is turning out to be more Terminator Genisys than Jurassic World; and all the claims of it being "the next Pokémon" are officially meaningless.

As it were; I'm not doing any more recaps of the anime until after the game or toys officially launch, so I can see how they perform as opposed to the anime. You should see my Digimon recap soon; then at least one more piece on Halloween weekend. I'm still not doing Danganronpa for a while because of the UCC incident; but something lighter and just as spooky. See you, space cowboy.

Recap: The Ghost of Maiden's Peak

Dedicated to the memory of my friend, David Lyle

1952-2015

Hello again. Well, after the annoyance bath that was much more Yo-Kai Watch than I planned on covering this year; I thought the Halloween festivities could continue with some nostalgic fun given the circumstances. 

Even so, I have a confession to make: when I was younger, I used to not like the subject of today’s recap. When I was a kid; I was so spooked by the subject matter that I couldn’t watch it for years. As time passed; however, I grew to appreciate it more for its gothic atmosphere and freaky imagery.

Yes folks, this is a case of me originally not liking a Kanto episode when I was 8; but finding much more appreciation for it as a teenager and a young adult. Of course, being Pokémon, it’s still quite silly; but that’s what makes it so cool and fun for me. With all that said, let’s open up “The Ghost of Maiden’s Peak” and journey back to a simpler time!

Once again, I don’t think I need to say anything about the Pokémon theme. The opening lyrics should be more than enough. 

I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was!

We open on a cliff by the sea, where the ghost of a young maiden is calling for her love to come back to her, and then; it becomes a Gastly! This episode freaked me out a lot when I was younger; and I used to not like it for that. Now, I think this episode is an underrated gem from Kanto. 

What a terrible night to have a curse!

The ship is landing at Maiden's Peak, and Brock is distraught that there are no more ladies in swimsuits, since summer is over.

Ash and Misty are eager to see the festival as summer ends. Brock sees something, and Ash and Misty encourage him to cheer up.

Team Rocket comes up on shore, and Jessie and James are out for pocket change; but Meowth is hungry. Then, James sees the maiden; and Jessie conks him on the head to knock it off. 

Everyone is partying like at the Mardi Gras, or more accurately; a Japanese festival; which is quite common for anime to have. Some of my favorites have had them: Azumanga Daioh, Lucky Star, Strawberry Marshmallow- the list goes on an on. I like these scenes as they provide some good breaks between battles to make the cast feel more human.

Brock then sees an old hag; who tells him he will befall a cruel fate at the hands of a young woman. Still, this is more helpful than some of the other old ladies have been in my town.

Misty then claims she's the beautiful girl; and claims like that were much more common in the subtitled version. I'd have to agree with that. The old lady, however, dismisses her as scrawny. Ash agrees, and Misty bonks him on the head in response.

James finds a penny, which 4Kids doctored from a 1 yen coin in the Japanese version. Officer Jenny comes in and claims the penny for the lost and found; and Jessie decides to bail.

An elder of the shrine unveils a painting of the maiden, who had died over 2000 years ago; waiting for a young man who went to war, and never returned, till she turned to stone in waiting. I'm reminded of Pokémon Conquest, a very good spinoff crossover with Nobunaga's Ambition; but that's not important right now.

Brock is in awe at the maiden on the cliff, and James wants to steal it. Jessie objects, but Meowth suggests stealing the painting. Jessie agrees; and she and James then fall in the water! Meowth snarks that Team Rocket is slipping.

Brock is still waiting by the rock, as Ash and Misty head to the Pokémon Center. Despite Brock's promises, Brock does not make it back before curfew.

Then, Meowth wakes to his alarm as the ghost of the maiden puts him back to sleep and takes James. Then, she takes Brock, who is waiting by the cliffs.

Everyone is looking for their missing friends the next morning as Jessie tries to do the motto by herself as James chimes in and bursts out the door of the shrine! Brock follows close behind as they're both delirious! The old woman points out they've seen the ghost, as they embrace. Ew. Pikachu then zaps them back to normal, or so they think. The old woman then decides to sell them some stickers with charms that keep away the ghosts. Oddly, the 1000-yen and 5000-yen notes in her cash register aren't changed even though the penny was. Consistency? What's that?

The spirit has come, and it still wants Brock and James. He starts whining "I don't want to go" as he's pulled away. Oh, the Doctor Who fan in me is experiencing a funny aneurysm moment right now.

Still, Ash and Misty grab Brock by the legs as Jessie shoots the ghost with their rocket launcher, telling her she doesn't have "a ghost of a chance". Then, that quip got used endlessly in Yu-Gi-Oh and its progeny after that. Hopefully it will be toned down in Arc-V now that Konami has the rights themselves.

The spirit has been found out as Gastly. 

Gastly starts summoning illusions, including a mongoose to face Ekans. I guess they wouldn't come up with Zangoose for another 5 years. 

He then uses a fire extinguisher against Charmander. Ash sends out Bulbasaur and Squirtle, and Gastly counters with Venusaur and Blastoise. He then combines them into Venustoise! I imagine that would be a nice D-arts kitbash, or an early version of their Mega Evolutions.

Then, Misty pulls out a cross, garlic, a stake, and a hammer.

What is a man? A miserable pile of secrets. But enough talk. Have at you!

The sun rises, and Gastly then slips away.

The morning sun has come and vanquished the darkness.

The festival ends with many boats being set off to help any wandering spirits find their way back home; and with Ash and Misty dancing with all the other guests. These setups always remind me of the end of Return of the Jedi. The tune Jessie and James play on the taiko sounds like the Ewok celebration more than the Victory celebration. I would have liked to have played those songs on Taiko Drum Master. With this, everyone celebrates the end of summer and beginning of fall! 

“The Ghost of Maiden’s Peak” is sure proof that time can easily change one’s opinion of certain episodes. I really enjoyed how it approached the mythology of the series; as well as offering some really spooky interpretations of Gastly for younger viewers. It may scare them, but it's a controlled dose of such a thing, which I find to be acceptable. Helped that it aired alongside Beast Wars and Sailor Moon on the UPN affiliate when I used to live in California; and alongside Batman: The Animated Series, Superman: The Animated Series, and Men in Black when it moved to Kids WB. The animation is also pretty good for its time; standing out as one of the better episodes in terms of how scenes are lit and colored, and how characters move even when not battling. Overall: it's a good episode that helped condition me for my fascination with the paranormal; especially in anime and video games.

The next recap in the festivities will be Digimon-related; so you’ll just have to wait and see which one I have in mind. See you, space cowboy! 

Recap: Gabunyan Hazard

Disclaimer: Those who are unfamiliar with Watchmen will probably not enjoy reading this.

“Rorschach’s journal, October 13th, 1985… Why are so few of us left active, healthy, and without personality disorders? …I shall go tell the indestructible man that someone plans to murder him. … Soon there will be war, millions will burn, millions will perish in sickness and misery…

Because there is good and there is evil, and evil must be punished. Even in the face of Armageddon I shall not compromise in this.”

Hello again. Well, since the first week or so of Yo-Kai Watch turned out to be less than what was expected on Disney XD; it seems that much of Nintendo and Level-5’s promotion and New York Comic-Con is scrambling to raise awareness of the game and merchandise; due out in November and January 2016, respectively. 

Even so, I don’t think a Jinbanyan pin is going to be enough of an enticement to sway potential buyers away from Call of Duty: Black Ops III. Even with some competitors I mentioned being pushed to 2016; the season still has Halo 5: Guardians, Star Wars Battlefront (whose beta went over incredibly well); Guitar Hero Live, Rock Band 4; and their biggest competing franchise in Japan, Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon.

I’m saying, unless Level-5 can really get people interested in the game among mass audiences; I don’t see Yo-Kai Watch being “the next Pokémon” everyone else is hyping it as. No, convention buzz isn’t sufficient for me; since that’s not really an indicator of how a work will do among general audiences. Pacific Rim is a notable example. While passing $100 million in theaters, it cost double that to make, and didn’t really catch on till it came out on DVD and got aired a lot on FX.

Enough about that; since a large part of my theme is Halloween-related stuff for this month, and I’m giving you one more Yo-Kai Watch recap to illustrate my thoughts on the matter. Let’s open up “Gabunyan Hazard” and talk about it. 

We get an opening from Whisper about Halloween traditions, Yokai, all that good stuff; and then adds in a bit what will happen in New Sakura Town (or rather, Springdale) that Halloween. If you’ve never wondered where Yokai come from, I say it’s time you’ve begun!

Once again, I’m skipping the opening in favor of something I can actually stand listening to.

On a dark night, we hear the screams of the eponymous Gabunyan over the night sky.

What a terrible night to have a curse!

We cut to our “heroes” (I use the term with as much weight as Rocky Horror does); Keita, Fumiko, Kanchi, and Kuma marveling at the sights before them that Halloween. Also, as it usually happens when some family-friendly works do a Halloween special with supernatural elements, the Yokai can walk around in plain sight; even without the aid of the Yo-Kai Watch. This actually presents an interesting idea: if the Yokai are such a blight on the townsfolk; why not have them be seen by more people than just Keita? Why pigeonhole yourself by having your protagonist be little more than a vehicle to sell overpriced knick-knacks that nobody needs? 

More on that later, because Keita is apparently meeting his friends for a gathering in town; and doesn’t have a costume ready. … Honestly? I usually tend to have my costume ready a year in advance, if not longer! I’ve been wanting to be a Jedi this year ever since I saw the leaked trailer to The Force Awakens in 2014!

After snubbing a cowboy and Dracula; Jibanyan suggests a sheriff from “a popular Dracula drama.” Okay, first of all, The Walking Dead definitely isn’t a show that kids should be aware of; let alone cosplaying from. Second of all; if it’s a reference meant for my age range, save it. I don’t really care for the show; and I still express incredulity at the fact that it’s lasted six seasons and a spinoff (though I would be willing to play the Telltale game and agree the comics have merit to them).

Before he heads to the train station; Keita decides to take a nap; with Whisper now sharing my sentiment that he has no motivation. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen!

After hastily throwing on his costume; he discovers that his mother has started to become a Gabunyan. Yes, you read that right. 

Mike Nelson: Oh look! It's not often you see the stupidest thing you've ever seen!

Yet, Keita is so fucking dense he actually has to question whether or not Mrs. Amano is a vampire! 

It's called EVIL, kid.

It even gets to the point where Jinbanyan has to force him out of the way while he escapes! He even asks what’s going on? That’s a question I ask every time I watch this anime. Even so, despite evidence to the contrary; he’s initially convinced it’s just a costume until he sees it in action! My word, man! Even Fred Jones would find your skepticism to be too heavy-handed! 

Jinbanyan even likens the drama to a documentary. Yeah, and Fox News is non-partisan! Keita’s friends find him; and Keita is ultimately forced to tell his friends about the Yokai threat facing them.

Here is where I decided to write about this episode and how this Halloween episode is easily a microcosm of all my problems with Yo-Kai Watch. I mean, here’s your chance to really show what you can do with all your spooky creatures and monsters; not just use them for bizarre jokes, you could show how they might actually frighten someone? Crazy idea, isn’t it?

Yet, that’s why I never really “got” Yo-Kai Watch, and still don’t as it’s coming stateside. What’s the point of having all these great Yokai on hand if you’re not going to do anything more elaborate than make them glorified dime-store baubles?

Furthermore, it turns out that his friends actually believe him! While it’s one thing to have the Yokai be to blame for Keith accusing Fumiko of being fat (or rather, “Not pretty” in the dub), why limit yourself to having us put ourselves in the shoes of one idiot who makes the likes of Goku, Luffy and Natsu read like a MENSA membership list? My point is; by putting the focus solely on Keita, potential like this is truly lost for showing how the characters work rather than merely telling it. 

So, with the town slowly morphing into Gabunyan; it falls to Keita, Kanchi, Kuma and Fumiko to make a cure and feed it to the head Gabunyan. I’m honestly going to get real sick of typing this before the night is over. 

It also presents how the putting the emphasis on comedy subsequently harms the potential of the concept. With the darker precedent set by Level-5’s own Ni No Kuni, the anime’s fluff approach not only made it harder for me to potentially accept the Yo-Kai Watch video game; but as a kid’s series, the lack of any real danger or nightmare fuel is essentially poison in my veins to me.

It is entirely possible to make a work that’s both dark and family friendly. My favorite works in the genre include moments that stick with me more because of how horrific they can be. Large Marge in Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, Gozer in Ghostbusters; Jim Henson’s puppetry in Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal are all key examples I can cite.

The same principles apply with anime as well, especially when targeting young audiences. While I am well aware of the concept of defanged horrors; Yo-Kai Watch goes a step further and effectively has them spayed and neutered a la Bob Barker. Even when their town is overrun by vampiric Yokai; it feels more like reruns of Care Bears than the gothic horrors of Seraph of the End. Yet, I do admire the fact they’re trying here; but as I’m about to tell you, things start to fall apart in the second act like a mess of banged-up Ultron drones. 

IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?!

They try to lure out the real one with an autographed poster of NyaKB (you see what I mean, Viz? This gag isn’t going to make sense if you continue to use it in the context of just calling them a generic “girl group.” Makes about as much sense as simply calling Led Zeppelin a “rock band.”). What could possibly go wrong?

Surprise surprise! They’re all knucking futs about this girl group! Clearly they underestimated the power of the estrogen brigade. It’s the key reason why Pitch Perfect 2 beat Mad Max Fury Road at the box office (guess the aca-Bellas wanted it more than the road warriors). 

Everyone reaches the school; and the G-virus is airborne (so named because I’ve been really busy with Spanish and I’m sick of typing Gabunyan despite being halfway through this piece of shit).

Just as Kuma succumbs to the G-virus; it’s at this point where I realized Yo-Kai Watch was beyond saving for me. I kept watching to make sure I simply wasn’t “getting it,” but this is the 42nd episode. At least 80 and a movie have been subbed. I’m not going to find anything I’ll like besides the high-quality animation now. If I’m going down for this, I’m taking this fucker with me. 

It seems the cure is made of moldy bread, onions and salt. Well, at least it’s easy to find. I don’t know how the merchandise will do here; least of all if it will generate the scarcities on the same level of Cabbage Patch Kids in the ‘80s or Power Rangers in the ‘90s. 

Yet, even Fumiko and Kanchi succumb to the G-Virus; once again leaving the day to be saved solely on Keita’s shoulders.

This goes back to my initial piece on the franchise to this point; as well as to my earlier point about this episode. While this special had some of the potential to be the point where Yo-Kai Watch could truly show off its potential; it instead fell to the same pratfalls the bulk of the series before and since has. Only six minutes left. Let’s go kick some ass.

Keita, Jibanyan and Whisper reach the stage, and all the Gabunyan are waiting for them.

Play the best song in the world or we'll eat your souls!

They spray the vaccine all over the crowds of Gabunyan; hoping for the best. I honestly don’t care what happens to these guys right now. Just as well, because the vaccine doesn’t cure them; but instead turns everyone in town into Jinmenken. There’s only 4 minutes left; and the ending is less than satisfying, I promise you that. 

You mix a Hell of a Caucasian, Jackie.

Of course, the TV happens to be on and it’s a coincidental broadcast. Perfect for exposition ever since “Robotic Fish Gone Wild!”

Media Break! You give us three minutes, we give you the world!

Naturally, they all start conversing like drunken businessmen. I guess there must have been vodka in the “toilet water,” eh Viz? The night leads them to a bar; which makes things uneasy for future prospects of this anime.

Of course, Keita is royally devastated at how he fucked everything up once again. You’ll have to forgive my language; I’m just venting about the events of this month so far, and this piece of trash isn’t helping. 

Then, all the Jinmenken show up at Keita’s doorstep as if it were time for The Purge. Guess Michael Bay wasn’t satisfied with just making Transformers 5 and decided to keep bankrolling low-budget classist fantasies. You know, like Ouran! Of course, the whole thing was just a dream; the standard way to render everything pointless by retconning the events of the episode. Allow Tom Servo to breakdown for me. 

Thus is what’s overall my biggest complaint with Yo-Kai Watch: in obvious fact, they wasted a perfectly good plot. Not just with this episode; the whole show is a massive letdown for what everyone else was ostensibly hyping as “the next Pokémon.” Instead, the newest dub episode seems to have been bumped in favor of a Gravity Falls marathon and the game now officially faces an uphill battle against Black Ops III; short of a last-minute date change.

As for any comparisons to Spirited Away: I not only reject them because of that being my favorite Miyazaki film; but also because the two are worlds apart in writing and characterization. The whole point of that film was to show how Chihiro could be wonderfully transformed from a whiny little girl into a fine young woman through the hero’s journey; learning humility and the value of hard work under the persona of Sen. Keita, however; hasn’t learned anything about the world around him at all; let alone how to deal with the Yokai afflicting his and everyone else’s life.  Thus, “Gabunyan Hazard” became the point where I gave up on it. It’s the anime equivalent of having too much chocolate: it tastes good at first, but your mind will be reeling and your insides will be ripped apart by the time it’s over.

With this, I officially say it’s time for me to detox. I personally don’t plan on doing any more Yo-Kai Watch until after the game or toys launch; so I can see if the anime has ruined anyone else’s potential enjoyment of those sections besides mine. The manga is decent, but you honestly can’t count me among those who can outright say they like it. Check back with me next week to see what I have in store. Bang. 

Recap: The Rare One/Yo-Kai Manjimutt/Here Comes Roughraff

Now it’s time for the third episode of the Yo-Kai Watch dub. It’s already clear that I don’t like the anime; and the low ratings don’t bode well for the game being launched against Call of Duty: Black Ops III, which is now the most-anticipated game of the holidays. Yo-Kai Watch didn’t even chart among Nielsen’s list. So let’s get started. 

We open the first segment, “The Rare One” on Mrs. Adams returning home on her search for a rare snack for Nate; and she’s of course wearing the standard trench coat and hat that the Ninja Turtles often favored.

I'd tell you where I was, but then I'd have to kill you.

What do you know: they not only changed the dessert to an American Whoopie pie, they photoshopped the label in the most unconvincing manner possible.

It's almost as bad as when 4Kids turned a rice ball into a sub sandwich!

Yet, this is immediately rendered pointless by the fact that “Mr. Piehole,” the baker; looks and acts like the disciplined head of a typical Japanese noodle house. Once again, allow this Awkward Zombie comic to point out the inconsistency (thanks again to Katie for pointing this out).

What’s more; they cut him actually eating the “pie.” Who cares about indulgences when we have toys to preemptively sell? Seriously, the first wave comes out New Year’s Day 2016; which doesn’t strike me as a logical date to launch a new toy. I guess Christmas would have been too obvious for Hino.

Furthering this is Noko, clearly this franchise’s equivalent of Dunsparce. Little side note, I plan to do the Johto episode involving them for snakes in the cycle of my Chinese Zodiac theme. Ideally, I want to be finished before the actual Year of the Monkey in February 2016; so I can have the slate clean.

Then, they start multiplying like rabbits. The noises they make sound like some novelty you’d get at the dollar store.

Even so, Whisper denies there are any, even as he holds one in his hands! What a fucking dunce. 

The next segment, “Yo-Kai Manjimutt” (Jinmenken in Japan) with Nate being woken up by Whisper. Personally, I prefer waking up to rock and roll than to this discount Slimer.

What did I do last night?

At school, Eddie mentions something about an “HFD”. Look, I have trouble dealing with adult conspiracy theorists; I don’t need clowns like you turning into Alex Jones on Pixie Sticks!

It’s short for “Human Face Dog,” as he pulls out his phone and claim it’s self-explanatory. First of all, I detest the idea that elementary schoolers have cell phones now; as I got my first one in high school. Second of all, no, it isn’t. Nothing about this anime is. If there’s one thing I like less than a liar, it’s someone who isn’t good at lying.

Eddie claims he saw it on the internet, but Bear; still sounding like Ralph Wiggum without the charm, says he hopes it’s wrong. He probably got it off Kotaku.

My cat's breath smells like cat food!

Then, Katie admits to seeing the “HFD” (I’m already getting sick of typing this, to be honest) when she was on her way home from school last night. Oy vey; this is going to hurt. 

Nate then decides to take care of it; and Whisper says it’s because of Katie that he’s doing this. He fantasizes about a kiss from her as reward. Skip!

We are then formally introduced to Manjimutt; and I’m starting to see what my associate Kohdok said about finding him creepy from the dub’s rendition of him. Still, I do find him more interesting than Nate or Whisper. 

He starts twiddling with an umbrella; all while sounding like another Family Guy character, Herbert the pervert. I just hope that umbrella doesn’t get too suggestive.

You like popsicles? I got a whole freezer full in my basement.

Golf swing aside, this voice dubbing is awful; and the acting is really damn stiff too. Even the normally lively Johnny Yong Bosch seems embalmed here. This is the same guy who was Lelouch, Origins Brock, Shotaro Kaneda, Ichigo Kurosaki and Vash the Stampede; and I still think he was more articulate when he was a Power Ranger!

Now, in the voice actor’s defense; he does have a tongue-in-cheek rendition of how off-putting the character of Manjimutt might be to some people. Face it: if this is many of the voice cast’s first anime; they’re probably doing it to get the bills paid more than anything.

Hey there muscle arm, what's the matter?

OK, aside from turning the beer into toilet water; this oden should be a tip-off that this clearly isn’t the fictional town of Springdale, Idaho. I may have never been to Idaho, but I’m fairly certain they don’t have oden there. This isn’t like in “Island of the Giant Pokémon” where it’s some fantasy counterpart to the actual Kanto region; this is almost as bad as turning all the booze into juice in a certain infamous One Piece dub. Suffice to say; I was ecstatic when Funimation effectively declared an open bar for the characters to get shitfaced at every opportunity.

Even the VA must’ve known this edit was bullshit, since the way he pours Nate and Whisper each a soda pop clearly devours the old ham and cheese. The way Manjimutt delivers the “glug glug glug”

line makes it clear he’s not going to rein it in for a role he knows sucks balls.

Do the Dew, boys. You'll need it.

He was fired after working for 32 years due to “budget cuts.” Why do I imagine this happening to Level-5 if this trend is on its way out?

He goes to vent his sorrows at the same oden; apparently enjoying frothy mugs of water, or if you’re generous; vodka. Team Four Star got some good mileage out of mocking this edit in early DBZ; so I’d love to see what any budding abridgers or YouTube Poop makers could do with this anime.

Ten minutes in, and rather than being drunk; he was merely grieving when the freak accident that killed him and turned him into a Yokai occurred. Yeah, this is exactly what happens when people soberly grieve! To think I was still doing this blog and listening to sad music as my outlets!

His “grief-stricken” swaying caused him to crash into a toy poodle and a bunch of 2X4s. From that day forward; he was known as Manjimutt.

I heard a joke once. Man goes to doctor, says he feels depressed and alone and what lies ahead feels vague and uncertain. Doctor says “treatment is simple. The great clown, Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that will pick you up.” Man bursts into tears. He cries, “but doctor, I am Pagliacci.” Good joke. Everybody laughs. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

Now comes the fantasy of Manjimutt’s new life as a toy poodle; but so far it’s shaping up to be more Benji than Beethoven. I know they were a terrier and a St. Bernard, respectively, but still. 

Also, they surprisingly left in Manjimutt taking a leak in the alley amid all the edits and cuts I mentioned above. So, Japanese food is bad; beer is bad; but public urination is OK? Where are your priorities, Disney XD and Viz? Apparently it’s because in their ‘verse; the cops still frown on taking a piss in the alley. Still not as funny as the Dude being held by the chief of police of Malibu.

Mr. Treehorn tells us he had to eject you from his garden party, that you were drunk and abusive.

Also, for some reason; one cop’s callsign is Adam-12. What kid is going to get that reference? I barely understand it in the Seltzer and Friedberg sense of “it exists, therefore, we must reference it.” The joke comes in the next step; twisting the reference in some way, making fun of it if you will. This is why I try to make my pop-culture references around the same pool as the 13-25 age range I target; though I do sometimes take a gamble on a more obscure one and maybe tell people to Google it.

As he’s being arrested, Manjimutt proclaims “this is Yokai profiling.” That’s not funny, you sick fuck. Did anyone at Viz stop and consider all these high-profile incidents that have happened over the past year? This most recent incident in Roseburg is also causing me to pull the plug on my planned Danganronpa recap for this month and replace it with something lighter for the time being.

Last but not least, we begin “Here Comes Roughraff”; as Bear proclaims there’s something wrong with Eddie. Forget Eddie, I think you need to go see a doctor. It seems Eddie is going all Straight Outta Compton on us; with his jacket slung over his shoulder and a pair of briefs photoshopped in like how they put a pair of boxer shorts on Zatch Bell (by the way; not doing that one, and I may consider making a top 13 anime I refuse to recap on this blog in the near future).

Worse than that, Bear still claims you can see his butt crack, even though that’s clearly not the case with the photoshopped tighty-whities. Did they even watch this before they aired it? Granted, that would require watching the whole thing; no easy task in itself, but come on!

Also, as Mr. Enter posited; just as it takes more than cute things to entertain girls, it takes more than gross things to entertain boys. This network has proven that. Star VS The Forces of Evil is a girl’s show that’s daring and adventurous; and Gravity Falls is a boy’s show that’s deep and often moving.

He uses the Yo-Kai Watch on Eddie, and Roughraff is there! I just wish he were showing us how to do the Time Warp (by the way, possibly doing a midnight Rocky Horror Picture Show for the 40th anniversary, it should be fun.). 

Whisper says that Roughraff can turn teenagers into punks; but this is like cosplay compared to what the Tiger gang does in Durarara x2 or all those vampires in Seraph of the End. You get what I’m saying? In an age where anime can tell such great stories; I was thoroughly disappointed by Yo-Kai Watch’s insipid approach to its subject matter.

Roughraff is not intimidated by Nate; proclaiming he’s shaking in his boots. You’re not wearing any, dipshit. I. Hate. This. Dub. And. This. Show. They face off at the riverbank; something that Tyson would have already done with the Street Sharks by now. 

This may just be stock footage; but once again, kudos to the animation being really good even if I don’t share the enthusiasm others have towards the show. Nate summons Jibanyan to take on Roughraff. What could possibly go wrong?

Surprise surprise! He’s corrupted into Baddinyan! Enlighten me on why you changed the name to that, boys? Wario and Waluigi proved that American audiences would accept a pun on the Japanese term “warui” (Literally, “bad”); so why would you do the same thing that they did in the NES version of Bionic Commando, calling the Nazis “Badds?” I only wish there were a profane “Master-D” with an exploding head to liven this up. 

Again, they proceed to run this joke into the ground by saying all the bad things he might do while not showing very many of them. He then guzzles his favorite snack, two chocolate bars before dinner. Still putting my chips on the Black Ops guys, since they’ve got automatic weapons and a lucrative teenage and young adult market.

This asshole's got nothing on Bobby Kotick.

Seriously, his misdeeds amount to variations on guzzling candy and things to not do in bed. Top-rated show in Japan, folks! Is it really a surprise it’s fizzling here? Even a filler episode of Pokémon The Series XY on Cartoon Network can pull a million viewers easy!

Even Nate says this is “total weak sauce,” and Whisper says he can’t watch anymore. Too bad, there’s still at least 4 minutes left in this turkey of an anime. He decides to summon Manjimutt; proclaiming “we need an adult to handle this.” I am an adult; and I still think this makes as much sense as a Satoshi Kon fever dream. He steps in, and promptly gets decked by Roughraff.

SHORYUKEN!

Then, it’s an official grudge match between these two Yokai. I feel like when I was playing Killer Instinct with some friends when I used to live in Nevada. I think I’ll need to after this. 

RIPTOR! SABREWULF! FIGHT ON!

The dubbing just gets worse and worse; rife with dated slang and poor voice acting and lip-syncing. In fact, I overheard some people on the bus comparing them to old Godzilla movies where their lips never matched the dialog at all.

I coulda been a contender.

So, we close on Manjimutt back in jail for somehow breaking out when he was summoned. I’m not making that up; folks. 

That’s the initial dub of Yo-Kai Watch; folks. While it may not be the worst anime I’ve seen of its kind; it’s almost twice as insufferable because of its potential that it seems to perpetually whiz down its leg like Manjimutt in a back alley. While the animation is slick and colorful; the writing and voice acting are horrendous, and nothing about the anime makes any sense. Thus; what was the biggest “mons” series since Pokémon in Japan is on its way to being buried in the US; especially if the likes of the second season of Star Wars Rebels and Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy have anything to say about it. Now, my viewfinder will go back to my initial plans; so check back with one last Yo-Kai Watch recap on the Halloween episode real soon. Bang. 

Recap: Yo-Kai Watch Episode 2

Before I get started on this episode; I’d like to share some things I forgot to mention last time. Apart from the voice acting being subpar at best, it seems I was correct in my theory that the scripts would be hacked to ribbons by the editing scissors. Viz has made every possible mistake they could in altering the script for the target audience here; filling it to the brim with unnecessary rewrites and mistranslations; most egregiously making the characters sound even more dickish than they were in Japan and changing the pudding to a Greek yogurt. I mean, I can understand referring to the doriyaki in Doraemon as “yummy buns”; since most American children probably don’t know what doriyaki is (to the point where Noby had to name them onscreen), but changing a dessert to a healthy item is a bit over the top.

On top of that, early response to the dub is lukewarm at best among the target audience of young children. So, it seems this invasion that everyone else was hyping is off to a rocky start. I don’t even think I need to go over my “hype backlash” talk again right now, so let’s open up the next episode of Yo-Kai Watch.

For the sake of argument, I will forgo the theme song; since I have bigger fish to fry, so to speak. Instead, I’m once again putting something else on. Helps me mellow out for what’s ahead.

1. The characters

I’ve mentioned before how I don’t consider Nate and Whisper to be the best characters in the way myself or anyone else would define the word; but it’s quite clear that they lack the most basic motivation in what they do. I can understand giving the target audience someone to relate to as a protagonist; but the problem is when a work contains Yokai, monsters, martial artists; or any other sort of fantasy and science fiction elements, the audience needs characters that are not only relatable, but could believably hold their own in a situation like this. Key examples include Son Goku, Monkey D. Luffy; Sosuke Sagara, Spike Spiegel, Shinji Ikari, Simon Giha, Edward and Alphonse Elric; and Roger from The Big O. All of these characters have clearly-defined motivations and goals. Throughout the bulk of the series, much less the initial 26-episode order Disney XD has placed, I feel as if I barely know anything about Nate; not helped by the fact that even the promotional material describes him as “Average.”

His friends and family fare little better, as his parents are just standard archetypes with little to no variance. Eddie (Kanchi in the Japanese version) is a tech nerd; Bear (Kuma in the Japanese version) is the dumb muscle, and Katie essentially fulfills the same purpose that Smurfette did. I’m not saying you have to make every anime the same; but unless you’re someone like Akira Toriyama, Masashi Kishimoto, Tite Kubo, Eichiro Oda, Hiromu Arakawa, Hayao Miyazaki, Shinichiro Watanabe, or Katsuhiro Otomo; we usually have certain expectations in mind. That’s at least two paragraphs on the failings of the characters before we get to the actual meat of things now. 

2. Kappa Sigma Monotony

So, our Yokai of this first part is a kappa, which even Whisper points out is pretty basic. Unfortunately, the dubbing makes him and Nate even bigger dicks to each other than in the Japanese version; which is no easy task. Even to a guy like me, who’s not a fan of the show; this is really sad.

His name is Walkappa, quite obviously this franchise’s answer to Psyduck. Yet, I only wish the headaches I got watching this would give me psychic powers. 

Also, Whisper mistakes a ramen bowl (which the dub refers to as the more generic “dinnerware”) for Walkappa’s plate. I know I use this gag a lot, but it still fits; even without the wheel of fish.

Stupid! You're so stupid!

For some reason, Walkappa sounds like a California surfer in the vein of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Bill and Ted. They are trying way too hard to hide the fact that this comes from Japan. Least the Power Rangers didn’t call too much attention to the fact that Japan looked awfully similar to Southern California (and more recently, New Zealand).

3. It’s all toilet sounds!

The next segment begins with Nate trying to use the restroom at school. You see what I mean about the target audience? They’re often so young that they’re reveling in the fact they now have control of their own bladder and bowels.

Kate, of course, reveals this to the whole class. Look, when you gotta go, you gotta go. It’s that simple. No need to stop the presses about it.

Yet, Nate thinks this one blooper will ruin him. No, it will take a bit more than that. Low ratings and launching against Call of Duty: Black Ops III should do the trick.

This once again turns his ostensible friends, Eddie and Bear into Bulk and Skull. A boorish fatso and a condescending tweed: you do the math. 

Whisper once again puts the idea in Nate’s head that a Yokai is behind this bathroom faux pas. It’s shit like this that would make him grow up to be Tyler Durden.

He points the Yo-Kai Watch at Katie; and we are introduced to Tattletell. I’m just going on record that I consider puns to be slightly above toilet humor on the comedic scale; and the humor in this anime isn’t as surreal as some other one’s I’ve seen; as I’m about to tell you.

4. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

So, Tattletell is the reason why one’s secrets are spilled all over. Great, it’s the Yokai version of Anonymous!

Also, are we seriously still on his BM? Top-rated program in Japan, folks! I’ll get to the less-than-stellar performance in the US in a little while.

Anyway, Nate is so angry he decides to face off against Tattletell, whether she wants to or not! 

It's morphin' time! MASTODON!

Then, they run the diarrhea into the ground even further by having Katie tell about it again. What is this anime’s obsession with his bodily functions?!

Once again, I must admit the animation is actually pretty nice for a show I don’t really care for. Just as the Transformers films are particularly well-made despite essentially being glorified 2-hour-plus toy commercials. Hasbro in particular is quite grateful for President Reagan’s little contribution to make that happen.

Whisper even says “such honesty could be devastating.” I know; I can be quite brutal towards something I don’t enjoy. Such is the position of the “caustic critic” persona.

Tattletell then clamps onto some other townsfolk in Springdale (New Sakura Town in the Japanese version), including this cougar that’s just a step away from a Kardashian in terms of udder vapidity. 

So, highly appropriate for this anime, really.

She also gets a criminal to confess where he buried a pile of money under the high school football field!

Also, I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll and I have Jimmy Hoffa's corpse in my freezer!

Yet, despite all this rampant Americanization (seriously, the setting has been moved to Idaho, with apologies to my neighbors in that fine state); Nate still says “I’ll never forgive you” to Tattletell. While that statement varies in the weight it carries here, in Japan; it’s pretty much the same thing as telling someone “fuck you” here.

5. I want you to show me the way!

Another strike against this anime is the fact that Nate constantly has to be told what to do as if he were a lobotomized Slakoth. While there is some degree of that in other “mons” series, generally the protagonists can figure things out on their own. 

With yet more prodding form Whisper, Nate summons Jibanyan. Once again, this is a very pretty series even if that energy couldn’t also be channeled into the script or characters.

Yet, Jibanyan proclaims he’s an individual with his own needs and wants. While there was an initial barrier between Ash and Pikachu; that pretty much went away after the first episode, barring a few gags from time to time. 

Even Tattletell is fed up with waiting, just drinking tea while Nate shambles through this turd! 

It's official: you suck!

6. Lost in Translation 2: Lost Harder

In this next bit, we get ANOTHER gag that the target audience here won’t get; since it’s entirely dependent on the knowledge for idol AKB48 and their counterparts, NyAKB. With the term changed to the more generic “girl group”; the gag now makes no sense in its new context, or lack of thereof.

Worse, this isn’t just a one-off joke either: it’s a large part of his character! I may not be entirely against changing things for a dub like some other anime fans; but they have to be changes that make sense! This isn’t like changing a character’s name; you can’t just turn a pop phenomenon into a total non sequitur!

As a result, Nate and Whisper say Jibanyan has serious issues. Given my first recap of this anime, I agree. Still, might as well Cinema Sins this part anyway.

Nate and Whisper are dicks to Jibanyan.

He follows Tattletell to the park; and decides to summon Walkappa instead.

This is going straight up my nose!

7. If I have a stroke as a result of viewing this anime; can I sue the producers for damages?

So Walkappa still keeps talking like a less funny Shaggy; and he’s able to defeat Tattletell by giving her a bunch of useless information. Still doesn’t help that he sounds so stoned. As with “Princess VS Princess,” I’m fairly certain this was conceived stone-cold sober; and the Japanese definitely don’t need the help.

Hino, didn't I read this part already? Did anyone proofread this before they clicked "print?"

It goes on, and apparently he likes pizza. With this cultural translation; I think he’s now rivaling Jar Jar Binks in terms of sheer annoyance. 

Mike Nelson: It's supposed to endear him to us. Makes me want to take a section of rebar to his skull.

8. Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?

There’s only five minutes left; and I still have no idea what others see in this. It’s like the South Park episode “Chinpokomon” (one of my favorite Pokémon parodies, by the way); in which every adult in town is bewildered by the whole thing while the children are invested.

Back with the show, is Bear a special needs kid? His voice acting sounds like someone I was bussed with in high school.

He might be on the borderline, since he got a 50 on his test; all while sounding like Chris from Family Guy (pre-2005 cancellation, of course, barring the Star Wars parodies).

Someone peed in my pants!

Even so, we’re not really given any information on the human characters or the Yokai. Without it; there really isn’t any reason to care about what’s going on.

Even a potentially interesting setup like Katie being reluctant to tell her parents about her test results is hampered by the fact that I have to question every single action people take onscreen.

Case in point: while we are told Nate is an average boy, he and Whisper actually have very questionable moral values. Rather than simply ask Katie what’s wrong; Nate is encouraged to use Tattletell to forcibly extract the information from her.

What does Marsellus Wallace look like?

Not only that, Nate is downright gleeful about the fact that he’s doing this. That’s how a person can grow up to be Alex de Large.

Yet, Katie’s mother is strangely fine with the fact that she didn’t get a perfect score. Did Tommy Wiseau ghostwrite parts of this dub? Nothing anyone says makes any sense, and the voice acting and dubbing are atrocious!

I got the results of the test back, I definitely have breast cancer.

So, we get yet another stock moral about trying one’s best. Skip!

We then close on Nate and Whisper admitting it’s good to be honest… while stalking out her home. Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen! 

In lieu of the English ending; I have yet more bad news to bear. I’ve received word that the ratings are well below expectations from the pilot’s initial airing. Only 300,000 viewers tuned in; finishing at number 85. So, it looks like my skepticism towards the show was justified for its prospects here.

This puts the potential for the series on rocky ground; as the manga is also being brought stateside; and the video game is still launching against Black Ops III. Short of moving the release date for the game, it looks like this “Yokai invasion” is shaping up to be more Tomorrowland than Age of Ultron; landing with more of a whimper than a bang.

I intend to do one more recap of the dub’s third episode; since it’s clear there’s a lot to talk about. After that, my viewfinder will be back on my initial target for this month. See you, space cowboy.