Recap: Yo-Kai Watch Episode 2

Before I get started on this episode; I’d like to share some things I forgot to mention last time. Apart from the voice acting being subpar at best, it seems I was correct in my theory that the scripts would be hacked to ribbons by the editing scissors. Viz has made every possible mistake they could in altering the script for the target audience here; filling it to the brim with unnecessary rewrites and mistranslations; most egregiously making the characters sound even more dickish than they were in Japan and changing the pudding to a Greek yogurt. I mean, I can understand referring to the doriyaki in Doraemon as “yummy buns”; since most American children probably don’t know what doriyaki is (to the point where Noby had to name them onscreen), but changing a dessert to a healthy item is a bit over the top.

On top of that, early response to the dub is lukewarm at best among the target audience of young children. So, it seems this invasion that everyone else was hyping is off to a rocky start. I don’t even think I need to go over my “hype backlash” talk again right now, so let’s open up the next episode of Yo-Kai Watch.

For the sake of argument, I will forgo the theme song; since I have bigger fish to fry, so to speak. Instead, I’m once again putting something else on. Helps me mellow out for what’s ahead.

1. The characters

I’ve mentioned before how I don’t consider Nate and Whisper to be the best characters in the way myself or anyone else would define the word; but it’s quite clear that they lack the most basic motivation in what they do. I can understand giving the target audience someone to relate to as a protagonist; but the problem is when a work contains Yokai, monsters, martial artists; or any other sort of fantasy and science fiction elements, the audience needs characters that are not only relatable, but could believably hold their own in a situation like this. Key examples include Son Goku, Monkey D. Luffy; Sosuke Sagara, Spike Spiegel, Shinji Ikari, Simon Giha, Edward and Alphonse Elric; and Roger from The Big O. All of these characters have clearly-defined motivations and goals. Throughout the bulk of the series, much less the initial 26-episode order Disney XD has placed, I feel as if I barely know anything about Nate; not helped by the fact that even the promotional material describes him as “Average.”

His friends and family fare little better, as his parents are just standard archetypes with little to no variance. Eddie (Kanchi in the Japanese version) is a tech nerd; Bear (Kuma in the Japanese version) is the dumb muscle, and Katie essentially fulfills the same purpose that Smurfette did. I’m not saying you have to make every anime the same; but unless you’re someone like Akira Toriyama, Masashi Kishimoto, Tite Kubo, Eichiro Oda, Hiromu Arakawa, Hayao Miyazaki, Shinichiro Watanabe, or Katsuhiro Otomo; we usually have certain expectations in mind. That’s at least two paragraphs on the failings of the characters before we get to the actual meat of things now. 

2. Kappa Sigma Monotony

So, our Yokai of this first part is a kappa, which even Whisper points out is pretty basic. Unfortunately, the dubbing makes him and Nate even bigger dicks to each other than in the Japanese version; which is no easy task. Even to a guy like me, who’s not a fan of the show; this is really sad.

His name is Walkappa, quite obviously this franchise’s answer to Psyduck. Yet, I only wish the headaches I got watching this would give me psychic powers. 

Also, Whisper mistakes a ramen bowl (which the dub refers to as the more generic “dinnerware”) for Walkappa’s plate. I know I use this gag a lot, but it still fits; even without the wheel of fish.

Stupid! You're so stupid!

For some reason, Walkappa sounds like a California surfer in the vein of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Bill and Ted. They are trying way too hard to hide the fact that this comes from Japan. Least the Power Rangers didn’t call too much attention to the fact that Japan looked awfully similar to Southern California (and more recently, New Zealand).

3. It’s all toilet sounds!

The next segment begins with Nate trying to use the restroom at school. You see what I mean about the target audience? They’re often so young that they’re reveling in the fact they now have control of their own bladder and bowels.

Kate, of course, reveals this to the whole class. Look, when you gotta go, you gotta go. It’s that simple. No need to stop the presses about it.

Yet, Nate thinks this one blooper will ruin him. No, it will take a bit more than that. Low ratings and launching against Call of Duty: Black Ops III should do the trick.

This once again turns his ostensible friends, Eddie and Bear into Bulk and Skull. A boorish fatso and a condescending tweed: you do the math. 

Whisper once again puts the idea in Nate’s head that a Yokai is behind this bathroom faux pas. It’s shit like this that would make him grow up to be Tyler Durden.

He points the Yo-Kai Watch at Katie; and we are introduced to Tattletell. I’m just going on record that I consider puns to be slightly above toilet humor on the comedic scale; and the humor in this anime isn’t as surreal as some other one’s I’ve seen; as I’m about to tell you.

4. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

So, Tattletell is the reason why one’s secrets are spilled all over. Great, it’s the Yokai version of Anonymous!

Also, are we seriously still on his BM? Top-rated program in Japan, folks! I’ll get to the less-than-stellar performance in the US in a little while.

Anyway, Nate is so angry he decides to face off against Tattletell, whether she wants to or not! 

It's morphin' time! MASTODON!

Then, they run the diarrhea into the ground even further by having Katie tell about it again. What is this anime’s obsession with his bodily functions?!

Once again, I must admit the animation is actually pretty nice for a show I don’t really care for. Just as the Transformers films are particularly well-made despite essentially being glorified 2-hour-plus toy commercials. Hasbro in particular is quite grateful for President Reagan’s little contribution to make that happen.

Whisper even says “such honesty could be devastating.” I know; I can be quite brutal towards something I don’t enjoy. Such is the position of the “caustic critic” persona.

Tattletell then clamps onto some other townsfolk in Springdale (New Sakura Town in the Japanese version), including this cougar that’s just a step away from a Kardashian in terms of udder vapidity. 

So, highly appropriate for this anime, really.

She also gets a criminal to confess where he buried a pile of money under the high school football field!

Also, I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll and I have Jimmy Hoffa's corpse in my freezer!

Yet, despite all this rampant Americanization (seriously, the setting has been moved to Idaho, with apologies to my neighbors in that fine state); Nate still says “I’ll never forgive you” to Tattletell. While that statement varies in the weight it carries here, in Japan; it’s pretty much the same thing as telling someone “fuck you” here.

5. I want you to show me the way!

Another strike against this anime is the fact that Nate constantly has to be told what to do as if he were a lobotomized Slakoth. While there is some degree of that in other “mons” series, generally the protagonists can figure things out on their own. 

With yet more prodding form Whisper, Nate summons Jibanyan. Once again, this is a very pretty series even if that energy couldn’t also be channeled into the script or characters.

Yet, Jibanyan proclaims he’s an individual with his own needs and wants. While there was an initial barrier between Ash and Pikachu; that pretty much went away after the first episode, barring a few gags from time to time. 

Even Tattletell is fed up with waiting, just drinking tea while Nate shambles through this turd! 

It's official: you suck!

6. Lost in Translation 2: Lost Harder

In this next bit, we get ANOTHER gag that the target audience here won’t get; since it’s entirely dependent on the knowledge for idol AKB48 and their counterparts, NyAKB. With the term changed to the more generic “girl group”; the gag now makes no sense in its new context, or lack of thereof.

Worse, this isn’t just a one-off joke either: it’s a large part of his character! I may not be entirely against changing things for a dub like some other anime fans; but they have to be changes that make sense! This isn’t like changing a character’s name; you can’t just turn a pop phenomenon into a total non sequitur!

As a result, Nate and Whisper say Jibanyan has serious issues. Given my first recap of this anime, I agree. Still, might as well Cinema Sins this part anyway.

Nate and Whisper are dicks to Jibanyan.

He follows Tattletell to the park; and decides to summon Walkappa instead.

This is going straight up my nose!

7. If I have a stroke as a result of viewing this anime; can I sue the producers for damages?

So Walkappa still keeps talking like a less funny Shaggy; and he’s able to defeat Tattletell by giving her a bunch of useless information. Still doesn’t help that he sounds so stoned. As with “Princess VS Princess,” I’m fairly certain this was conceived stone-cold sober; and the Japanese definitely don’t need the help.

Hino, didn't I read this part already? Did anyone proofread this before they clicked "print?"

It goes on, and apparently he likes pizza. With this cultural translation; I think he’s now rivaling Jar Jar Binks in terms of sheer annoyance. 

Mike Nelson: It's supposed to endear him to us. Makes me want to take a section of rebar to his skull.

8. Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?

There’s only five minutes left; and I still have no idea what others see in this. It’s like the South Park episode “Chinpokomon” (one of my favorite Pokémon parodies, by the way); in which every adult in town is bewildered by the whole thing while the children are invested.

Back with the show, is Bear a special needs kid? His voice acting sounds like someone I was bussed with in high school.

He might be on the borderline, since he got a 50 on his test; all while sounding like Chris from Family Guy (pre-2005 cancellation, of course, barring the Star Wars parodies).

Someone peed in my pants!

Even so, we’re not really given any information on the human characters or the Yokai. Without it; there really isn’t any reason to care about what’s going on.

Even a potentially interesting setup like Katie being reluctant to tell her parents about her test results is hampered by the fact that I have to question every single action people take onscreen.

Case in point: while we are told Nate is an average boy, he and Whisper actually have very questionable moral values. Rather than simply ask Katie what’s wrong; Nate is encouraged to use Tattletell to forcibly extract the information from her.

What does Marsellus Wallace look like?

Not only that, Nate is downright gleeful about the fact that he’s doing this. That’s how a person can grow up to be Alex de Large.

Yet, Katie’s mother is strangely fine with the fact that she didn’t get a perfect score. Did Tommy Wiseau ghostwrite parts of this dub? Nothing anyone says makes any sense, and the voice acting and dubbing are atrocious!

I got the results of the test back, I definitely have breast cancer.

So, we get yet another stock moral about trying one’s best. Skip!

We then close on Nate and Whisper admitting it’s good to be honest… while stalking out her home. Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen! 

In lieu of the English ending; I have yet more bad news to bear. I’ve received word that the ratings are well below expectations from the pilot’s initial airing. Only 300,000 viewers tuned in; finishing at number 85. So, it looks like my skepticism towards the show was justified for its prospects here.

This puts the potential for the series on rocky ground; as the manga is also being brought stateside; and the video game is still launching against Black Ops III. Short of moving the release date for the game, it looks like this “Yokai invasion” is shaping up to be more Tomorrowland than Age of Ultron; landing with more of a whimper than a bang.

I intend to do one more recap of the dub’s third episode; since it’s clear there’s a lot to talk about. After that, my viewfinder will be back on my initial target for this month. See you, space cowboy.